DULALA

As the English language continues to degenerate into a conversational tool for chimps, the Cambridge Dictionary’s latest edition now includes ‘words’ that could have been invented by my 2 year-old grandson on his potty.

Nanna I need the toilulu

Not one to be confounded by this new gibberish, I thought I’d join in by writing this post in the style of language used by today’s socially media influenced youth.  It goes something like this:

Oi wowars (hey woke warriors) I maysie olfee but me no dulala yet. (I maybe an old fogey by your standards but I’ve not gone totally doolally yet).

Wassa ridicularsee bingo lingo? (What’s this ridiculous rubbish that passes for English these days?) Snot banging. (It’s not great). Onesie deffo brainbashing no solulu, youse bedwettee icepops. (One definitely thinks this is not the solution – you nonsensically immature snowflakes).

Desi pooblab (stop talking shit) and boss Chas lingo (and master the King’s English) belulu mashhead (before your brains turn to mash potato).

Seriously, enough with this absolute massacre of the English language! 

If you can’t be bothered to read, write or talk properly what makes you think that these cretinous new terms sound cool or would be remotely entertained in the world of real work? Imagine how daft business reports or official correspondence would be if peppered with this monkey language. It would read almost as bad as my own efforts to create new dictionary worthy words.

Have you actually stopped to listen to yourselves? Yep, I thought not. Well, if you haven’t then I’d like to recommend a few YouTube video clips of the late great Stanley Unwin, master of gobbledygook because this is exactly what you sound like. The only ‘delulus’ out there are you lot if you think those of us who received a proper education are ever going to resort to trotting out this tripe. 

Cambridge Dictionary - this is not a futuristic development of language!!!!

The Revised 2025 Chimp Edition