RECORD CUBE - 2ND SECTION

Having got this far, the next section should be a lot easier. Breathe huge sigh of relief, no timber re-cuts or thumbs hammered in the process. Thank goodness for that!

Now where had we gotten to? Ah yes, here we are ….

Picking up where we left off

I guess it’s all a bit obvious really but part two simply involves putting the second horizontal divider on top of what has already been built. Drill countersink holes to screw timber down from the top into the vertical record dividers and also to screw in from the sides. Nice and sturdy; that could easily hold an elephant. Or me!

Add the second horizontal piece

As I am placing another row of wooden boxes on top of this horizontal divider then again, a batten has been screwed in at the back to hold everything snuggly in place.  Being lazy, I didn't bother staining the bit of shelf that wasn't going to be visible to the naked eye.

More chocks

Add the wooden boxes then you can finally complete the rectangular cube by fixing the last long top panel into position. Drill countersunk holes to screw downwards into each vertical panel.

Finally fix the top into position above next lot of boxes

All that is left to add is a small shelf to split the tall end compartment into two. Why? This is not just for the hell of it, there’s a more practical reason for this section as it will be used to contain a large case full of hefty 78’s (gramophone records) and a long box of 7” singles.

Your completed stained rectangular cube should now look something like this:

Finished inner rectangular cube

At this point, you could pretty much slap on some retro style metal hairpin legs that have become very fashionable and just leave it at that. 

Metal hairpin legs for that lovely retro touch

Unfortunately, we can’t because some of the repurposed pine planking had holes in it from its previous life and also because professional carpenters/joiners would have properly dowelled all the joints so as not to have any visible screw heads. Duh!

But never fear, I have already come up with a cunning plan to disguise our woodworking incompetence - more about that in the next post.

RECORD CUBE - 1ST SECTION

Instead of starting our vinyl storage unit from the bottom up, efforts are being channelled into making the stained rectangular cube.  This has been fashioned from an old pine bookcase. The timber was just too good to chuck out – make do and mend is what I say!  You can save a few pennies repurposing good wood.

Recycling an old pine bookcase

Begin at the outer edges and work inwards is my motto. Cut 2 x long panels for the top and bottom of your rectangular frame and 2 x side panels plus an extra side piece for the internal riser.  In total, you should have 2 long bits and 3 shorter bits.

Stain, wax then screw together at the corners to make a 3-sided frame. Don’t screw the top panel on as this will be done later once all the inner sections are added.

Remember your unit needs to be wide enough to accommodate a vinyl LP and in our case the wooden storage boxes so the base and side panels have been cut to a 37 cm width.

Now that you’ve constructed your base section, it’s time to add the interior compartments. I’ve begun by using three of the CD storage boxes to work out the length of each of the horizontal dividers. This can be done simply by placing a length of timber across the top of the boxes then carefully marking the overall length. Cut two of these long horizontal pieces.

Idiots way of working out length

To determine the position of the third vertical riser, I placed three CD boxes on top of the bottom part of the frame abutting the boxes tightly to the end panel. 

Working out position of middle vertical riser

Hold the internal vertical riser panel against the CD boxes. Carefully draw a pencil line across the base piece marking the position of the outer edge of the vertical riser. Drill countersunk holes and screw the vertical piece into position from underneath the base. You should now have something that looks like this:

Base and 3 vertical panels

Next attach divider pieces for the record storage compartments. I’ve gone for two supporting dividers but you can add as many as you wish, spacing these out evenly across the length of the timber base.   Remember these will be holding up the top compartment so there should be enough dividers to give good support.

As I don’t want a disjointed look to the overall front of the unit then I’ve aligned the dividers to the edges where two CD drawers meet. Again, drill and fix from the bottom then screws won’t be visible once placed on top of the wooden boxes.

Attach dividers to bottom horizontal piece

To assemble the first compartment, lay all 3 wooden boxes on top of the base making sure that the drawers are aligned to the front of the bottom bit of timber. As our base is wider than the boxes, a wooden batten has been fixed behind the row of boxes to prevent them sliding backwards each time a drawer is opened.

Chocking the back of the wooden boxes with a batten

Place the piece of timber with the dividers on top of the boxes. If you have measured and cut correctly, everything should fit snuggly within your rectangular frame. Drill and fix this horizontal section from each outer edge inwards. 

Voila! – the first compartment completed.

First compartment finished

RECORD MAKERS

Just when you think you’ve put all that pesky woodworking behind you, another project unexpectedly leaps up and bites you on the bum!

The other half’s got a face like thunder after I casually dropped into the conversation the fact that I’d ordered some more pineboard from work. Yep, that’s definitely a look that could curdle matt emulsion.

I can already hear them screaming at each other

Meanwhile, it’s time to get pencil, ruler and back of cereal packet out to design what I really hope will be the last lot of cabinet making ever. This time we’re making a vinyl record storage unit because when you can’t find one you like in the shops then you just have to make it yourself.

To make the most of unused bits and bobs, I’ve designed this record storage unit so that it incorporates all the old wooden CD storage boxes bought from IKEA decades ago. 

Wooden CD storage boxes

It needs to be big enough to house all those marvellous LP’s and 7 inch singles lovingly acquired from bygone record shops which I refused to get rid of when the rest of the world was ditching theirs in favour of new-fangled CD technology.

My design was cobbled together in a most unusual manner by jiggling round a pine bookshelf, the CD boxes and a small partitioned storage unit rather like completing a gigantic 3D Rubik’s cube until the right combination of components was eventually reached. Hey presto, a design is born!

This one?

Or like this?

This unit will consist of 3 parts; a sturdy plinth, a stained rectangular cube divided into sections for the CD boxes/records and a black outer casing.

I've settled for this design

All that’s needed now is the will, wood and weather to be able to get this latest odyssey off the ground.

IT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND

New year, new NHS rant and for my first post, I’d like to focus on how the health service cleverly re-labels everything so that like Derren Brown, a fantastical sense of illusion occurs tricking your mind into thinking there’s nothing really wrong with you.

Great record!

Creating this illusion involves clever hocus pocus so as to make your conditions seem better or more positive than they actually are.

If I were to say ‘chronic’ pain, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? I’m assuming you’d think of some agonising, fate worse than death scenario. The Oxford Dictionary offers us two definitions of the word ‘chronic’. The first when associated with illness means persisting for a long time or constantly recurring. The second more informal meaning is that whatever it is referring to is of a very poor quality ie bad.

The NHS has decided to re-badge chronic pain as ‘persistent’ pain. The word ‘persistent’ is in reality no different in meaning to the word ‘chronic’ but there is a subtle difference and they’re hoping this simple change of word may affect the way you perceive your pain.

The Oxford Dictionary definition of the word persistent is something that continues firmly or obstinately or continues to exist/occur over a prolonged period. A ‘persistent’ pain is one you may have had for a long time but doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad or acute pain (chronic).

Downgrading pain from ‘chronic’ to ‘persistent’ is a way of deluding patients into thinking there is not a lot that can be done to remedy their situation as this is often the case when dealing with a prolonged problem that you’ve become accustomed to living with.

Pain is all in your mind says the new school of NHS magicians. Of course it is. Most of us long term pain sufferers are just in it for the tea, sympathy and the odd biscuit that may come with that. NOT!!! Jedi mind trickery may be your recommendation as opposed to good old fashion medical/surgical interventions but it’s only a short-term fix and doesn’t effectively tackle many underlying conditions.

Milk, no sugar and a bit of sympathy

Essentially the new way forward is to get patients to learn how to lump it. Cheaper for the NHS if we can all live in harmony with our pain rather than fixating on how our health problems can be fixed for good.

Let’s put this into context with a couple of DIY analogies. In our first scenario, a clumsy carpenter accidentally clobbers their thumb with a large hammer. It hurts like hell and after a few hours, that thumb looks like an aubergine. Several expletives, a dollop of arnica cream and a cuppa later, they tell themselves it’s only minor and pain messages sent by the brain quieten down. Physical pain yes but not long lasting.

Fast forward to second scenario where same clumsy carpenter has now hammered a 6 inch nail into their index finger. Hurts like f**k, blood everywhere and carpenter’s pain-o-meter is off the scale. No amount of meditation or paracetamol is going to help here. What they need is for the nail to be removed,  stitches, hard-core pain relief and a few days off work. Physical pain is likely to persist until the underlying cause ie nail removal is actioned and no personal pep talk is likely to change that.

Continuing with the DIY analogies, let’s look at my own chronic pain problem. I have a herniated disc affecting 4 vertebrae in my neck which I’ve lived with for the past 20 or so years. My condition is being constantly reclassified by the NHS – it’s been called everything from cervical stenosis, spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease to spondylosis. It’s truly a job to know what I’m suffering from these days because every time I see a new specialist, they call it something else leaving me even more confused.

Basically, the cushioning between these 4 vertebrae is disintegrating, leaving bone to grind on bone and giving rise to inflammation. To compensate, my body has produced bony growths (osteophytes) sort of cementing the spine together, causing nerve root compression and all manner of other peripheral issues affecting my arms and legs. Pain is my constant companion. Painkillers are my best friends. Let’s just say this situation isn’t going to get better any time soon and is likely to worsen with age.

Now if I was dealing with these mechanical issues from a DIY perspective then by now I would have chiselled off the bony growths, removed the crumbling cushioning and replaced this with some kind of flexible foam or filler to support each vertebra independently. I probably would have thrown in some lagging to prevent everything falling out of place afterwards until the filler had set.

I appreciate a spinal column is not something you can tinker with in quite the same cavalier fashion but surely chronic pain caused by bone related mechanical issues could be dealt with in a similar way?

It appears not. For the past 3 years, the NHS have sent me from pillar to post. I’ve had every type of scan known to mankind, met a myriad of medicos and tried a plethora of complimentary therapies (acupuncture, aromatic or sports massages, chiropractic manipulation, hot stones, cold sprays, therapy guns, counselling, etc, etc) but to no avail because clearly it’s all in my mind so what the NHS should have offered me is either a lobotomy or a course of electro-shock therapy. I’m surprised no-one suggested cold baths, hypnotism or a psychiatrist but maybe this will be on the cards when I visit the next specialist.

It truly beggars belief the lengths this health service will go to in order to save money and NOT provide any kind of actual treatment for patients. By the time my condition gets to its event horizon, I shall doubtless be too old to survive any kind of general anaesthetic or I’ll be in a wheelchair and it will be too late to do anything about it – mind or otherwise.