SMORGASBORD

‘Invitation, please.’

‘Invitation? But I thought this Smorgasbord was for everyone.’

‘Not everyone madam. Just those with the broadest shoulders and besides, the event finished two days ago. Now clear off. And no, you can’t have a doggie bag.’

Well for those of you who bothered to sit in front of the telly Wednesday lunch time to watch the Budget, I can tell you it was only marginally more entertaining than Bargain Hunt only there were no real bargains to be had unless you’re the fifth child in a deprived family or a bingo player. Eyes down, look in as bingo duty scrapped!

If you happen to be a rich smoker, drinker, gambler who lives in a palace and drives an EV then my advice would be to downsize, trade your motor in for a dirty diesel and give up all those filthy little habits. This budget is homing in on you like a heat-seeking tax missile.

Let’s just say, I breathed a huge sigh of relief at not having to contend with any new levies, duties, taxes that hadn’t already been rumoured or leaked out prior to the main event which of course, thanks to the Office of Budget Irresponsibility was pretty much everything. Whoever pressed that ‘publish now’ button on their computer is in for a good kicking.  You just couldn't make it up, could you?

What this does mean is that I can still afford to continue my wood panelling project since there are no additional levies raised on home improvements or MDF. Phew.

Now that the budget dust has settled, we can all get back to those all-important Black Friday sales or Crimbo shopping. Even super scrimpers like me get seduced by the ‘dark’ side of Black Friday.

My rock n roll deals - a couple of discounted bottles of wild rhubarb floor cleaner (Amazon) and cheap tickets to the Jurassic Park Experience at Battersea Park (Wowcher).

Woo Hoo! Gotta love a bargain!

CORRIDORS OF POWER

Not content with having lots of niggly snagging to do in the downstairs toilet, I’m already percolating a new DIY idea for the corridor.

Exploring these posh country estates always gives rise to delusions of grandeur, inevitably leading to what I like to call a statement refurb project. Secretly, there’s a Mrs Bouquet in all of us and I’m no exception. I want a posh gaff even if I have to do it myself!

After a millionth trip to the downstairs loo, I looked around our corridor and naturally my eye was drawn to all those vast empty wall spaces. 

It's all a bit plain isn't it?

Surely, there’s something I can do to elevate this seemingly plain corridor into something grander.

This corridor needs to make more of a statement

How can you bring the best out of plain, boring old walls? Bit of MDF wood panelling, that’s how. It’s Changing Rooms all over again. Laurence, where are you when I need you most? I think it’s time to bring back this show.

Anyway, back to business. Wood panelling always begins with a tape measure, pencil and paper. The last time we embarked on a similar voyage was 2018 in our old house but I’ve slept since then so it’s a case of searching through the vintage blog vaults to see how I tackled this before.

And to add to the MDF challenge, our corridor is full of kinky bits which are going to make things a lot trickier to deal with than if we just had a couple of nice long walls. Still, if we can make a corner bookcase then we can do some kinky stuff. I’m always up for a bit of kinky even at my age!

How do you panel around kinky bits?

But first things first. Golden rule before rushing off like an over-enthusiastic puppy chasing a bluebottle is to draw up a cunning design plan.

Now, where’s that empty cereal box as I need to come up with a panel plan then raid the coffers before the Chancellor does.

LOO TOPPER - PART II

Back in Loo Loo Land, the quest to make a smart top piece for our cobbled together back to wall toilet storage unit continues. 

Having firkled about with cardboard and scissors to fashion a template for this top section, we eventually arrived at something resembling our wonky gap.  Transfer template across to pine board then cut carefully taking care not to deviate greatly from any of the pencilled lines.

Blue Peter DIY badge

 

And even then, it’s still a case of continual sanding of edges to take off any ‘humps’ or that proverbial gnat’s whisker preventing the board from slotting straight into place.  There’s really no exact science here, just repetitive tweaking/sanding until it all fits.

Hurrah!   The plank finally fits the gap

 

Now that we’ve finally got the perfect plank, it’s over to our paint workshop (lounge floor) for a couple of coats of primer, paint and furniture lacquer.  Fingers crossed all this liquid doesn’t make the bloody thing expand as it’s a tight squeeze as it is.

Priming and painting in the 'workshop'

LEONARDSLEE GARDENS

Forget the budget, boats or bungling politicians for all of five minutes – it’s time to grab cagoule and camera to head off into the wilderness to blow away those mental cobwebs with a bit of autumnal therapy.

Where best to revel in the magnificent colours of autumn than exploring the meandering woodland pathways of Leonardslee Gardens near Horsham.

Welcome to Leonardslee Gardens

Enjoying the last rays of autumn at Leonardslee Gardens

Feel those delicious rays of sunlight caressing your cheeks or peeping through the leafy canopies of trees shedding their summer attire ready for wintry bedtime.

I'm not the only one enjoying the sunshine

Last rays of autumn

Breathe in the earthy scent as you stride along gravelly tracks looking out for wildlife lurking in the undergrowth.

Hmm... smells of moss and mushrooms

No deer spotted but plenty of pheasants or squirrels.

This pheasant's feathers make it almost seem invisible

A reminder that Christmas is coming

Look! A flame red leaf glistens like a ruby against brown foliage underfoot.

I've found a tree ruby

Another tree ruby

So many beautiful shapes and colours everywhere you gaze.

Glorious golden colours

Dive into tranquil waters

Drop your head back towards the sky (something you rarely do with a dodgy neck) to see the fabulous golden canopy of this Champion tree. It’s like a natural stained-glass window with its graceful branches contrasting beautifully against the blue.

The Champion Tree

There’s plenty of artistic surprises around every corner as the gardens also have sculptures nestled amongst the foliage. Just look at this cheeky chappy:

Or this super-sized foot reminding me that I’ve yet to chase up my NHS referral to Dr Clodhopper.

Best foot forward

Having hugged a few trees, shuffled through piles and piles of dry leaves, taken a million photos of bark, lakes and wallabies...

Eucalyptus tree up close

There are many lakes to discover on your travels

G'day mate

Yes, there's even a collection of these cute little furry jumpers – I feel amazingly invigorated.

Don't look now - it's the paparazzi

Leonardslee is a great place for peaceful re-connection with nature. 

The wonders of nature

I feel like dancing too

Good gravel paths, most not too steep so suitable for walkers of all ages or abilities. Small benches dotted around if you need a rest. I’m sure we’ll return to re-inspect the landscape once next year’s blooms have made an appearance.

See you again

You can’t beat Mother Nature when it comes to guiding you back to a more even keel. One thing’s for sure, autumn is never a dull season.

Autumn view across the trees

Hello kitty

I'd like one of these in my garden