NO WORK WEDNESDAYS

Sometimes life has a funny way of working out.

Life can be all rainbows sometimes

For ages I’ve been procrastinating over whether or not to take early retirement or maybe reduce my weekly working hours further but not having arrived at a particular conclusion, fate has now blown the whistle and handed me a red card.

Stop dithering and make a decision

A month ago, I wrote a post called Levelling Up explaining how our company was urging employees to make the ultimate salary sacrifice so that it could find the cash to pay its increased national insurance bill. The Chancellor clearly has no idea that many businesses are finding ways of offloading their tax burden onto employees. Some companies are looking to cut hours or staff, some are asking staff to consider going ‘freelance’ to get them off PAYE but hey ho, a shrinkflation job is better than no job.

No-one wants to earn less particularly in these hard times where even the cost of bog paper has gone through the roof. However, for those of us with one foot almost in the retirement camp then this situation has presented an opportunity to re-visit that Work/Life balance.

How much???????

I can’t thank ex-Chancellor George Osborne enough for the day he liberated private pensions giving us oldies the freedom to choose when to begin retirement. It’s thanks to him that I can afford to drop a few hours without feeling the pinch.

And so, I find myself blogging on my second ‘No Work Wednesday’ at a time when I should have been frantically slaving over a hot keyboard in the workplace.

What to do with my new found freedom? A whole day all to myself with only the cat for company – yippee!

Predictably I’ve started my day with a lie in getting up at 7 am instead of 6.30 am. A cuppa in bed, an additional bonus.

What’s next on the daily To Do List? Well let’s see - there’s the Tapi man to prepare for, a birthday cake to bake, some freshly painted planters to fill with compost, a half made Bluey toy to knit up, a fence panel and gate to Cuprinol, a bit of internet admin, and so it goes on and on.

Honestly, I don’t know how I ever manage to find time to go to work at all since there’s always so much to be done at home but for now, I’m going to sit back with my feet up on the lounge table and blog away guilt free while the rest of you wage slaves beaver away at your desks.

POWER CUT

‘I cannae give you more power’ wails an anxious Scotty to Captain Kirk as the Starship Enterprise lurches from one intergalactic disaster to another.

Power - the one thing that keeps all our lives on an even track but what happens when that unseen energy mysteriously disappears?

Since 9.00 am this morning, power has been in absentia. No Saturday mowers, radio news or glowing numerals to wake me from slumber. Not a peep from the street. Hmm, it’s just too quiet for this time of day.

Bimble downstairs. Flick kettle on. Spent 20 minutes scratching head wondering why the toaster wasn’t its usual bright perky self. Come on. ‘I want crumpets damn you’ I shout at the inanimate shiny thing. The penny drops when after 5 minutes the kettle is looking about as interesting as a stranded whale.

Brain then runs through that auto-mantra that occurs when electrical gadgets malfunction – Check fuses. Is the socket switched on? Are the cables connected? Do the lights work? OMG! No internet!!!!

A ping alerts me to a text from the Lecky Board – its both good news and bad news. The good news is the engineers are hard at work on the problem. What problem? The bad news is that no-one knows when the magic juice will be restored. Well, that’s put a major spanner in the works or should that be digger through the cable? What to do with no electricity? And of course, it’s at that moment I notice that the battery on my phone is about to run out… Can this day get any better?

Thank goodness for gas hobs. At least I can boil up a pan of water for a cuppa and substitute granola for buttery crumpets. But what about those folks who don’t have gas? Should I be rushing out to offer my saucepan skills to the rest of the hood? Maybe not. I can hardly pass the hat round after providing hot drinks, boiled potatoes or a bucketful of warm water for arthritic feet, can I? Gotta keep an eye on those high energy costs. Sorry but it’s every man for himself (or person for themselves or whatever).

After a very quick cold wash it’s time to get Survivalist head on. Check understairs cupboard for supplies of candles, matches, bread and milk. Bring wood in from the log store. Dig out large thermos flask. Text the kids then switch off phone to preserve battery. Put tortoise outside to warm up as none of her heat lamps are working. Check purse for cash – shops may be closed or unable to use card machines.

Wander into town to assess the state of the Chichester nation. That’s strange – traffic lights are not working, some shops are closed yet the town is still full of grockles so obviously no zombie apocalypse, Russian invasion or meteor strike. Still, it pays to be prepared. Pick up emergency salad supplies as it looks like power outage is only affecting areas south of the A27.

Luckily the sun’s out and the Spoons is still open – a blessing really as with nothing else to do at least you can top up your tan with a pint in hand.

A word of advice here for those thinking of going over to full fibre optic broadband – guess what? Yep, landlines don’t work in the event of a power cut as telephone handsets are plugged into the back of the router which won’t work without electricity. That’s technological progress for you.

However, a chat with next door has reinforced the need for Survivalists like me to switch to solar power with battery storage as in the event of a power failure, you will have your own limited power sourced directly from the battery. Note to self – add solar quotes to the To Do List.

It’s now 5 pm and hurrah, the power has unexpectedly returned just as I was getting to the good bit of my crime thriller novel. I'm off to quickly nuke up some dinner in case its only a temporary generator that’s keeping the lights on.

The future's bright but if it's all electric then you'd better be well prepared for when the light at the end of the power tunnel goes out.

 

ISA ISA BABY

And whilst we’re on the subject of banking, Money Saving Expert Martin Lewis has reminded me its time to re-inspect all my savings accounts to make sure I’ve protected my ‘stash’ from the money grabbing Sheriff of Downing Street who is thinking of lowering the cash ISA savings threshold from £20,000 to potentially £4,000 per tax year.

If you’ve taken your eye off the ISA ball then may I suggest a visit to Martin’s web site where he’ll update you on the ins-and-outs of cash ISAs and more importantly the benefits of having your nest egg stashed in a nice little tax wrapper.

Bah! What’s it to me? Can’t be arsed with all that financial malarkey I hear you say. Well, I’m going to add my six-penneth worth here to tell you why you should be bothered.

Rachel from Accounts latest plan is to manipulate savers into propping up UK industries by making it less attractive for us to put large chunks of wonga into cash ISAs. Instead she hopes to encourage us to fritter our pensions away on the vagaries of the stock market. No doubt her fund manager cronies have all been crying into their martinis at the loss of fees to help keep their gas-guzzling Maseratis on the road which is why she’s turned her beady eye on cash ISAs.

UK savers like myself are a cautious bunch. I like my capital guaranteed and the thought of losing all that hard earned money on a turn of the stock market roulette wheel sets my heart racing. I want the bird in the hand, not the potential two birds in the bush! And I’m prepared to accept less growth to achieve this.  Hope you're listening Rachel.

The Chancellor is in for a nasty shock if she thinks cash savers are suddenly going to flock into UK equities. Au contraire, mon ami. Perhaps she doesn’t read The Times or else she would have spotted this little snippet headed ‘UK Equities Shunned’. Seems like all larger, savvy investors are dumping UK equities by the handful so why then does she think smaller investors would suddenly want them? Would you buy a 3-legged horse? My thoughts exactly!

UK equities?  I'll give it a miss

Should the cash ISA threshold be lowered from £20,000 to £4,000 in a given tax year, it would take you 5 tax years to deposit the current threshold amount of £20,000.

Assuming you opened up a new cash ISA in April (the current tax year) with the maximum amount of £20,000 and this was invested in a one-year fixed interest rate cash ISA at say 4%, at the end of the term, your investment would be worth: £20,000 + £800 interest = £20,800.

Without compounding the interest, if you fixed the £20,000 for 5 years at 4% then you’d have earned £4,000 tax free interest on your initial investment by the time savers on the lower threshold amount had reached the £20K total.

Fast forward to October’s budget. If the cash ISA threshold is lowered to £4,000 and you opened up the same one-year fixed interest rate cash ISA investing the maximum at 4% then your investment would only be worth: £4,000 + £160 interest = £4,160. That’s £640 less interest than the saver maxing out their cash ISA at the higher threshold rate.

But here’s the thing – if the maximum amount you can save into a cash ISA is only £4,000 then where would you put the remaining £16,000 if you had total capital to invest of £20,000?

Since you can only hold cash ISAs totalling the maximum threshold amount in any given tax year then it’s assumed you’d have to put the remaining £16K in another type of savings/deposit account and doing this might expose you to the savers tax if you breach the annual £1,000 interest threshold.

So, dear savers. What I’m trying to point out is that if the Sheriff of Downing Street gets her wicked way and lowers the cash ISA limit then you’ll have to decide whether to:

a) Take a punt on a stocks and shares ISA and risk your capital
b) Deposit funds in other types of non-ISA savings accounts and risk a tax penalty
c) Leave your money under the mattress or

d) Blow it all on coke and hookers

Be on your guard also for any proposed changes affecting how and where your pension funds are to be invested in the future as this too could affect the value of your overall retirement nest egg.

Rumour has it that fund managers may be required to put a larger percentage of pension fund cash into UK equities, a risky business for sure judging by the number of companies going bust or unable to pay out decent dividends to investors.

Being quite close to retirement, I’ve taken that decision out of my pension fund manager’s hands by choosing the ‘Freestyle’ option of private pension where you decide what funds your cash are invested in. And guess what? To reduce volatility on my portfolio, I’ve selected Cash Funds for my pension pot. These funds won’t make me a retirement millionaire but at least at the moment they’re not losing value.

Why do cash ISA's matter?  Tax.  And particularly so when you retire because you'll need the most income possible without having to hand any more of it back to the Tax Man.

Finally, always seek proper financial advice before investing your money, don’t be guided by what you read in the papers or on the internet because you never know when people are talking complete bollocks.

CRACKING UP

This post title doesn’t describe me but refers to the self-levelling compound we threw down with gay abandon onto the uneven floor in the downstairs toilet before buggering off for a week of glorious beer-swigging in Munich.

Munching in Munich

Oh dear, not liking the look of those hairline cracks. Doesn’t look nice and solid, more like a road map of Britain. I’m almost too scared to stand on the floor especially since I’ve piled on poundage from scoffing too many portions of bratwurst and kartoffelsalat (potato salad).

Cracks in the self levelled floor

So now I’m suffering from compounding anxiety particularly as I’ve booked a return visit by Tapi Carpets for the fitting of vinyl flooring next Wednesday. What if the chap takes one look at this crack-riddled slab, shakes his head and refuses to fit the new floor?

Worst case scenario is we’d have to completely break up the compound layer then get it re-screeded which not only costs money but pushes back the project even further.

There’s nothing to do but wait for the fitter’s arrival. Fingers crossed it can all go ahead as planned.