THE GREAT BREAKTHROUGH

At last all those wonderful things spotted through the peep hole by Howard Scarper (building contractor & archaeologist) have come to pass.  The great breakthrough has finally happened!

 

Birth of a new kitchen/diner

Gone is the window and wall separating the new extension from the old kitchen.

 

Wall and window removed

Gone in 60 seconds

All that is left of the past is a standalone sink and hob unit. 

 

Standalone sink unit

What's left of the cooking facilities

Everything else has been ripped out, chopped up and taken to the tip to make way for all those wonderful things such as new Neff oven and kitchen units.

 

Clearing out the units ready for the gas man

Dodgy looking wiring 

What was behind the old oven housing

Yuk!  There's more dust back here than in King Tut's tomb

Demolition in progress

Everything's gone to the tip

It’s headless chicken week.  Project activity has been ramped up to the degree that it’s become hard to keep up with everything that’s going on or needs to be organised.  This is what makes a great difference between a project being completely managed by your builder and one where you are in control of things.  It’s down to you to keep all the balls in the air!  If you are not a control freak like me, best to leave it to the experts.

And whilst we’re on the subject of project management, this is an example of control freakery at its most extreme. 

 

Attack of the instruction notes!

Making sure it all goes according to plan

The sparkie is in on Friday to do a first and second electrical fix in the extension and kitchen but as I won’t be around first thing to let him in then I’ve left instructions stuck to the wall to remind him of what’s required.  I can’t begin to imagine what will be going through his head when he sees all this.  I expect he’ll think I’m some kind of notepad nutter and he won’t be far off the mark.

Re-plumbing the sink and washing machine

So whilst the walls in the extension are being plastered, the gas connection for the new hob extended, the cornice fitted and countless ‘To Do’ lists being drawn up by me, good progress continues to be made.

Kitchen ceiling re-boarded

And freshly plastered

Archway in the making

Archway all plastered

Plaster drying out

TORIES TANK THE ECONOMY

Bring Back Boris!  

This should be the Tory party’s new 3 word slogan as judging by the financial and economic turmoil today, it won’t be long before Dizzy Lizzy and her sidekick Chancellor Khazi are given their marching orders.  I bet Boris is sat watching this debacle laughing his cotton socks off. 

Trickle down economics?  She would have been better off betting the nations billions on the 3.30 race at Fontwell Park.  Looks like her nag ‘Boom or Bust’ is heading for a fall at the first fence. 

Can you imagine trusting these muppets with the budget for your DIY project?  If you had then by now they would have re-mortgaged your house, sold the debt to the highest bidder then bought it back again leaving you with a financial black hole the size of that asteroid being blasted by NASA. 

Hats off to the Tories for tanking the economy in the quickest time imaginable.  This is one for the Guinness Book of Records.  It’s not a coincidence that the UK is part of that popular phrase ‘well and truly fUKed.

BYE BYE KITCHEN

I’ve been waiting for the chance to get rid of this awful kitchen since we moved in almost 2 years ago and finally the time has come to say ‘bye bye kitchen’.

 

Thought I'd never see the back of you

Good riddance!

The extra bank holiday for Queenie’s funeral has proved quite timely, falling conveniently between daughter’s wedding and the great breakthrough.  Now that the perimeter to the house has been fully secured, it’s time to get our lardy butts off the sofa to rip out the rest of the kitchen.

 

Hob & oven ready for disconnection

Getting rid of worktops and units

Ice station zebra has been set up in the lounge for continued refrigeration of foodstuffs.

 

The refrigeration station

The old wall mounted kitchen cupboards have found a new life as stackable storage units in a bid to try and maintain some order in our lives.

 

New use for the old wall cupboards

The home office and crafting area has been dismantled to make space for cardboard boxes filled with pots, pans and more cleaning fluids than you can use in a lifetime.  In a household where cleaning rarely happens it strikes me as mildly amusing that I’ve got more Cillit Bang in stock than the local Robert Dyas.

 

More cleaning gear than I ever use

Chaos reigns supreme.  Making a cup of tea has now become a major odyssey.  Unearthing a clean cup or teaspoon is like discovering King Richard’s bones under your car park, nothing short of miraculous!

 

Any idea where the spoons are?

I’ve laid down a mega supply of cheese, ham and microwaveable meals in readiness for when the oven and hob are removed and it’s anyone’s guess what we’re going to do with our dirty smalls now that the washing machine’s been disconnected.  

Remember that sketch in The Young Ones where they all go off to the launderette but have a job persuading the smelly cheesers into the machine?  Well, ours will probably be marching off down the road by themselves.  Yuk!

It's safer out here

WINDOWS & DOORS

"Let me take you on a trip, around the world and back and you won't have to move, you just sit still"

And after that perfect intro by Depeche Mode, I’m going to take you on a trip of our new doors and windows because what could be more riveting than looking at UPVC windows, right?

 

Finally I see a window of opportunity

And a portal into the unknown

After weeks of waiting, the new UPVC window and door have arrived!  Yay!!

 

What a window whopper!  Not sure how they're going to lift it into position

Astragal bars removed before lifting

In keeping with the other windows replaced earlier on, the new window is a Georgian style design with astragal bars on the outside of the glass. 

 

Phew!  It fitted perfectly in the gap

Although it looks like there are 2 pairs of outward opening French windows which is what I’d originally wanted, this window unit only has outward opening panes on each end.  The two central sections are ‘fake’ windows that don’t open.

 

Viewed from outside with no astragal bars fitted

Having side opening sections will enable Bertie (as well as burglars) to access the house from the garden once he’s allowed outside.

 

Perfect garden access for cats and burglars

There’s also a lovely wide window sill on the inside which no doubt will become a cat bed in the future.

 

That's where my bed will be says Bertie

The UPVC French doors are in the same style as the window, with both doors outward opening into the patio area. 

 

Doors ready to be fitted

New sill in position

Another perfect fit

I like the look of the Georgian style for doors and windows.  It gives the exterior a look of understated elegance and provides an almost cosy cottage feel to an interior.  Again, well worth the extra expenditure to get the house looking just right.

What the finished exterior will look like

The perimeter has now been sealed

Looks fabulous

A TALE OF TWO LIZZIES

Well, that was one helluva week!  

First, Liz Truss gets selected as our new prime minister then Queenie goes and kicks the bucket.  Double shock for the nation.  

Now I promised the other half that during this period of state mourning there’d be no tongue-in-cheek disrespectful comments on the monarchy (past or present) so I have only two things to say on the matter:

 

Queen Elizabeth II - God rest her soul

King Charles III - God Save The King!

The good Lord finally got round to answering my prayers for rain and sent a few more biblical downpours over to West Sussex.  Of course, in his haste He’d failed to notice that none of the old guttering had been replaced or that there was no new guttering installed on the extension or that large chunks of the old roof had no tiles on.  So much for omnipotence!

 

Temporary guttering 

Blue Peter solution to drainage issues

Our builders continue to plod on at the rate of snail, patching up roof tiles here and there whilst we all watch this space for the arrival of the new UPVC French door and window. 

 

Not ideal during torrential rain

Work in progress

New lead flashings to seal the gaps

Promised to be here today but after 14 weeks there’s still no sign of the things.  I suspect the new King will be officially crowned before they materialise.  It seems we were all hoping that they’d be in position to secure the new building prior to breaking through into the kitchen but I’m not holding my breath.  I’ve given up asking the builders for any updates as I’m beginning to sound like a broken record. (Any news?  Any news?  Any news?)

 

Can't break through until the perimeter is secured

In readiness for the Great Breakthrough, the sink cupboard in the kitchen has been cleared out and all debris moved off the worktop. 

 

Getting ready in the kitchen

Before the 'Great Breakthrough'

The wait continues …