GROUND FARCE - Pastures new: September 2012

That’s Turkish for ‘hello’. I’ve just come back from spending 2 glorious sun drenched weeks in the garden – that is the Hibiscus Gardens in Marmaris. I now look like I’ve been creosoted such is the dirty shade of brown my skin has acquired after a fortnight sizzling under temperatures averaging 40 C most days. Gardening is the last thing you’d want to do in heat that almost melted my rubber swimming shoes. Let’s just say, I was more than relieved to come back to the fresher British climate although it was lovely not having to worry about taking a jacket every time you popped out for a stroll day or night. The kebab dinners were also to die for.

Hibiscus Gardens - Marmaris

So, Marmaris what’s it really like? Well if you fancy a quiet relaxing break on the Med in a place steeped in history, culture, maybe doing a bit of philosophising with the locals over a Turkish coffee and baklava then forget it. Marmaris is like a Turkish Torremolinos – wall to wall tacky neon lit tourist bars/restaurants covered in plasma screens and blaring out the kind of cheesy English music you’d only find at an Essex wedding reception. Visitors are just walking cash cows there to be fleeced of as many Turkish Liras as possible with maximum in-your-face hassle. Believe me when I say there’s nothing pleasant about exchanging oxygen up close with a big hairy Turk trying to flog you a pair of fake Ray Bans.

Marmaris Town Centre

Worst place for hassle – Marmaris’s Thursday market. Sensitive types who would not enjoy haggling with aggressive salesmen should avoid this like the plague. Downstairs, the tranquil fruit and veg section whilst upstairs, a loud bustling knock-off emporium. Good quality genuine fakes proclaim the local ‘Arthur Daleys’, all trying to out-scream each other. Come on, seriously a real pair of Armani jeans for a tenner – only in your dreams!

Thursday market - fruit/veg sellers

However, don’t let me give you the impression that Marmaris is a nightmare holiday destination because aside from the hassle and over-bearing minority, it is in fact a very beautiful place. The main town (a thriving metropolis) centres round a large harbour full of expensive looking boats and restaurants. A dark sandy beach stretches for miles down the coast to the next town, Icmeler, bordered by the sparkling blue Aegean. It’s no wonder this area is referred to as the Turquoise coast.

View of the harbour area from Marmaris beach

Dusk over the local coastline

Marmaris beach promenade

Incredibly, the town also boasted 2 large garden centres selling a diverse range of tropical palms, bougainvillea shrubs, olive trees and terracotta pots. I can’t understand why no-one else was interested in taking a look round.

Turkish garden centre

Although the surrounding countryside was fried to a crisp, many hotels and local homes had beautiful lush gardens with all those lovely plants that struggle to grow in our wet, windy and sunless climes.