FROM DOWNLOAD TO DUCHESS

First rock chick then royalty, my rollercoaster social calendar has tipped over the edge into one of those death defying corkscrew dives that usually ends in barfing up breakfast over your deck shoes.  Aaahhh – what a week!

Download Festival 2013

Last Saturday I was ankle deep in the quagmire of Donington Park, flapping from stage to stage like a mud splattered cagouled crow with a bad case of welly envy.  I would have given my right arm for a set of dad’s full length fishing waders and a beany hat.  Forget fashion, at festivals sporting that just lived in Farmer Giles look is haute couture it seems.  Smelling like him is also acceptable. 

Main stage at Donington Park

In spite of the glorious mud, biting wind, random downpours and rubbishy Skylink bus service, Download 2013 can be summed up in one word – AWESOME!!!!  

Maiden England Tour 2013

Iron Maiden who headlined on Saturday; doubly AWESOME!!!!  My own rendition of ‘Run to the Hills’ and keyboard drum solos have made a few of my office cronies develop unmistakable twitches since I returned from the festival.  Many of them have no doubt run through unspeakable torture scenarios in their heads to get me to shut up.

The Countess of Queens Park

Thursday – more mud but of an upper crust kind as my daughter and I masqueraded as the Duchess of Charminster and Countess of Queens Park at Royal Ascot’s Ladies Day.  (Waders must be worn on head as eclectic headgear at this festival).  Mud is a challenge to the well-heeled of both purse and footwear.  There’s nothing worse than sauntering past the Royal Enclosure with your Laboutines impaled 4 inches into the ground so that you look like a backward tilting stork.  I’m sure chiropractors must be laughing all the way to the bank after race week.

Royal Ascot - grandstand

We won some races but lost a few quid too.  Ate cheese on toast with the toast of society and raised our pinkies quaffing our over-priced wine.  We waved to Queenie – she waved back!  A day at the races is truly another world. 

The Royal Procession at 2 pm

Thundering down the straight

Meanwhile back in the back yard, my garden is also looking like another world – a world of death and destruction.  Thanks to my shocking ‘never at home these days’ behaviour some of the patio pots are close to a near death experience.  The cherries have shrivelled into raisins from lack of watering.  They’re definately on their way to that great orchard in the sky.  Just how does Alan Titchmarsh manage when he’s at the Chelsea Flower Show all week?

MORE ABOUT:

Download Festival - http://www.downloadfestival.co.uk/

Royal Ascot - http://www.ascot.co.uk/

BIDDIES, BUSES AND BLOODY DAWDLERS

It may be a lovely day outside but I’m not in the best of tempers having just come back from what I thought would be a quick drive out to Picket Post.  It’s been nothing but biddies, buses and bloody dawdlers everywhere you turn!  Seriously if you can’t figure out what lane you should be in, don’t know where to find your indicators and won’t drive any faster than 28 miles per hour then stay at home and take up golf or knitting.  Those of us in a hurry will love you all the more for it.

Time is of the essence today.  It’s all go, go, go; trying to get our less than clean abode in order for tomorrow’s first student arrival.  Not an easy task in a house where there’s more dirt swept under the carpet than in a Tory cabinet (but only just!).  Slaving over a slow cooker goulash when I should be out there topping up my tan in what could be the only day of summer is enough to put anyone in a major grump, don’t you agree?

Tidying up the deck ready for al fresco dining

Cleaning is such hellish drudgery!  I can’t honestly recall a time when I last cleaned so much in one consecutive period.  If God had wanted us to live in a plastic germ free bubble we’d all have been born Michael Jackson. As it is, the kitchen has been ‘febrezed’ to within an inch of its life and the carpets have seen more Shake n Vac in the last 15 minutes than in the previous 12 years.  I’ve even washed my beaver!  (This is not a euphemism for lady garden but what we call the brown furry sofa throw for those cold nights in front of the telly).  Yes, a febreze smelling beaver is now hanging on the line.

Photo of the beaver

 

As if cleaning, cooking and tidying up the patio wasn’t enough to be getting on with, I’ve also just finished icing my daughter’s wedding cake as I’m chief cake decorator as well as mother of the bride. 

Wedding cakes after icing

Oh if only I could win the lottery I’d be able to spend the rest of my days in idle pleasure rather than skivving away in house and garden.  Living the dream!

Shelby and Wiggy enjoying the sunshine

MORE ABOUT:

Beavers - http://news.sky.com/story/1076746/beaver-bites-man-to-death-in-belarus-attack

Febreze - http://www.febreze.co.uk

Icing wedding cakes - http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/food/2011/05/how-make-a-wedding-cake.shtml