Happily
typing away at work this morning I heard the funniest thing on the radio namely
that Heinz are thinking of re-branding salad cream as sandwich cream. A collective groan ricocheted round the office
following by a mass rolling of eyes. Whatever
next?
Re-branding items according to customer usage means we’ll soon be rushing off to the shops
to buy bum wipe paper (loo rolls) or lady-tache bleach (facial hair lightener)
as surely this is the proper way to describe these products. No?
Well I for one can’t wait to see how they re-package ‘stiffy
promoters’ (Viagra).
Sandwich
cream sounds like the kind of thing that should be applied routinely in a bid
to keep butties from looking old and wrinkly.
Heinz – my advice is if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it. Who the hell cares if salad cream doesn’t end
up on a salad anyway?
It’s
T minus 2 for tiling lift off on Saturday.
Our handiwork’s been given the official thumbs up. It’s green for go! The tiler didn’t even bat an eyelid when I
mentioned the couple of little additions I’d slyly slipped into the project
brief.
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| Ready, steady, tile! |
First
surprise - ceramic bath trim to replace the existing varnished wooden
bead. Let’s face it, in a splishy,
splashy bathing environment seepage is always going to be an issue. The last thing anyone wants is water
filtering behind tiles and leaking through a ceiling so getting a nice,
watertight seal around your tub is paramount.
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| For a neat finish around a bath |
According to Google, there’s a million and one ways to seal a bathtub ranging from a traditional
silicon sealant to plastic sealing strips but I’ve gone with a more vintage
look. Johnson Tiles bath trim, a set of
finger like ceramic strips that sit neatly round the edge of the bath. According to the box, a stylish and elegant
answer to unsightly gaps and awkward finishes between the bath and wall. Couldn’t have put it better myself. (£17 a box from Tile Giant)
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| Mind the gap |
Cutting
bevelled mini metro tiles horizontally is a bitch so second surprise is a set
of polished chrome mosaic tiles to create a spangly splashback under the bathroom
window. This is bound to be far easier
than trying to cut slivers of tile to fit such a narrow gap. I know I wouldn’t want to. (£17 for a 30 x 30 cm mosaic tile from Tile
Giant)
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| Beautiful shiny polished chrome mosaic tiles |
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| Mosaic tile splash back for gap under the window |
Curiosity killed the cat so I’m
just going to have to keep myself gainfully employed as the ‘human kitty bed’ on
Saturday so that I don’t peer in on the job every 5 minutes until it's finished.
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| This new cat bed's a bit lumpy... |
