PIMMS O'CLOCK AGAIN!

Bartender – make mine a double!  

I can’t afford to put my gas heating on but thanks to the Chancellor, I can now guzzle as much prosecco as I fancy thanks to new reduced booze taxes.  Of course, you’d be a sucker to believe that pubs will pass on these tax changes in the form of lower drink prices.  They’ll do what the petrol retailers do when the fuel levy is frozen and wholesale prices drop, keep the price at the pumps the same then pocket the difference.  Bottom’s up suckers! 

A few sherbets later, it’s time to turn our fuzzy thoughts again to the task of upcycling cocktail cabinets though I must confess that the cabinet’s contents are far more appealing than the article itself.  Hic!

Time to finish off this cabinet

Finding a supplier of clear Perspex cut to a specific size has been as difficult as finding a politician that doesn’t waffle or stumbling across a discarded winning Euro millions ticket on the pavement but as luck would have it, Ebay has once again come up trumps and pointed me to a company called DisplayPro. 

DisplayPro were quite happy to supply 2mm thick Perspex cut to whatever size I fancied for just under £13 (delivered) but then the technical science evaporated along with the cherry liqueur.  How do you figure out how much Perspex to buy to fit inside your door panel?  And this is where it’s all about as certain as a turn on ‘spin the bottle’.  

Repairing the door won't be easy

You’d think it would just be a case of whipping out a tape measure but with domed shaped doors manufactured closer to the start of the century than I was, it’s harder than you think to arrive at a precise measurement.  Imperial or metric measurements?  In the end, I just used a piece of paper slotted into the side grooves to determine the width and did my best with the length.  

How is the perspex panel going to fit in there?

Slotting fake glass into place is an art in itself.  As you can imagine, there’s not much give in either plastic or glass and 2mm is not really all that thick.  Too much pressure whilst easing the panel into the gap and there goes £13 down the drain.  Softly, softly catchy monkey.  The air was blue as the other half tried to gingerly position the Perspex in place whilst fending off a rather rambunctious tortoise at the same time.

 

Glass panel on door repaired

Stained and varnished batten stuck into position

Ta da!  Perspex in place, the missing decorative batten I made earlier is superglued into position on the door for the final finishing touch. 

 

Plenty of room for Southern Comfort

Wow, I can’t believe how smart our new upcycled cocktail cabinet looks.  It’s certainly added a nice retro touch to our derelict lounge.

Fits perfectly behind the door

Right, who’s up for some vodka shots?

HOGWATCH

Clocks go back, Covid cases rise, Christmas could be cancelled and no doubt there’s a mega Arctic blast coming just to add to the triple whammy that’s happy slapping us all the way to this year’s festive season.   Ugh!  Winter is coming and things are going to get ugly… 

But never mind eh.  Nothing puts a smile on your face quicker than hedgehogs.

 

One of our 'hoggy' visitors

Hedgehogs are so cute but extremely rare these days thanks to mankind’s wanton destruction of hedgerows and obsession with meticulously manicured gardens.  We’ve destroyed their habitats just to improve ours but quite frankly, in most cases I can’t really see that its much of an improvement. 

However, we’re hoping to redress the balance by making sure our resident hedgehog population doesn’t face the same bleak winter we will so welcome to ‘Hogwatch’, the neighbourhood’s answer to Blue Planet but on a shoestring budget. 

Almost every night, a hungry hoggy or two waddle through the flower borders to feast on a special porcelain platter filled with dried hedgehog food that we’ve left on the patio.

This is the smallest of our hedgehog visitors

So far, we’ve spotted at least 3 different visitors who appear completely unfazed by the spellbound audience watching their antics through the patio door.  Hogwatch is far better than the reality dross served up on TV and cheaper as no licence fee to pay.

 

Cute and very hungry

Lend us a camera, Sir David as my digital one is a bit pants when it comes to night photography.

 

Pictures taken through the patio doors

Just to assure all you readers out there – no hedgehogs were harmed in the taking of these very dark and grainy pictures.

That explains why the bird bowl is always empty

Middle sized hoggy with darker side streak

Fits perfectly into the bird bowl

AUTUMN GLORY

It’s sometimes hard to believe we’re in the middle of October.  Yesterday we took time out to put on our walking boots and get out into the wide blue yonder to explore some of the marvellous countryside near Chichester.

 

Can this really be October?

Rolling hills, scudding clouds, bird song and beautiful blue skies; we’re truly blessed to have the South Downs National Park almost on our doorstep.

 

You can see for miles across the downs

Here are some of our photos taken from one of the public footpath trails along the South Downs Way

 

Clever camouflage - I almost didn't spot it

Alien type plants in the hedgerows

Butterfly enjoying the sunshine

Colourful red autumn berries

Wild poppies in the long grass

Where will this trail take us?

It seems we’re not the only ones enjoying the balmy autumn sunshine.  There’s a shelled warrior on the loose who’s definitely not showing signs of hibernating any time soon.

 

Always looking for an escape route

Shelby enjoying the autumn sun

Every day I come home from work to find Shelby has somehow managed to escape her indoor pen.  Her latest Houdini like trick is to climb the plastic flower pot in the corner of her enclosure to lever herself onto the cardboard beer box where she normally sleeps once out. 

 

And for my next trick

This is what I do when you're at work

How she gets down from the box without a tortoise parachute is anyone’s guess but as Horsfields are very adept at climbing or digging then I’m sure she’s found some clever way to descend.

 

Hibernation?  Not likely

Doing the daily lounge inspection

She’s free to roam wherever she fancies on the ground floor so it’s no wonder I find her in some very unusual places such as under the lounge curtains, inside the sliding door cupboard, under the hi-fi unit or battling the imaginary chair tortoise.  It’s your reflection you daft thing!

It's not a real tortoise you silly old thing

TRAVEL WALL COLLAGE

Okay, so in my last post we looked at how to make a simplistic world map pin board.  Now we’re going to focus on creating the overall collage and this is where you can really give your creativity free rein.  Woo hoo! 

Firstly, round up a nice selection of your best global travel photographs and put into frames.  Now over the years, we made a point of buying these kitschy touristy plaster frames in every place we visited.  They’ve spent years in a drawer as they don’t really fit into an Art Deco interior design scheme but hell, you can’t be sensible all of the time!

 

It's deco but not very Art Deco

They’re pretty tacky I know but what started as a harmless bit of fun has become an obsession and it’s part of our holiday ‘mission’ to find new frames to add to our collection each time we travel.

Having decided on your picture selection, group these into twos or threes.  I’ve kept mine in groups closely aligned to the country or continent visited.  These groups of pictures are going to be positioned around your world map pin board using self-adhesive strips such as Command or you can hang with a nail which is cheaper.  If you don’t want to frame your photos, just stick them directly onto the wall using double sided tape or blue tac.

 

Group your pictures ready to arrange around the map

Using large headed pins and colourful wool, I’m marking out my destinations then stretching across the wool across the sides of the frame where the end of the thread is stuck down in a place hidden by the photo frame.  I’ve just used ordinary Sellotape to stick the wool down into position.

 

Position your thread first then photo on top

Arrange your photo group on top of the coloured woollen threads so that the ends are hidden underneath the pictures.  

Work your way around the map to create a wonderful colourful collage of memories.  If you really want to push the boat out, add coins, postcards or other souvenirs to your collage to make it even more interesting.

 

Keep adding to your wall each time you travel

Soon there won't be any wall left to see

The fabulous thing about a travel wall collage is that you can keep adding to it each time you go on holiday.  After a few decades, there’ll be very little wall left to see and it's already brightened up the derelict diner decor.

IT'S A SMALL WORLD

I was lucky enough to be a volunteer at this year’s InsideOut Dorset Festival where one of the main exhibits was the spectacular ‘Gaia’ by Luke Jerram.

 

'Gaia' at Moors Valley - InsideOut Dorset Festival

Gaia – a huge visual representation of planet earth as seen from space has given me yet another arty farty idea…  No, I’m not making a monster paper-mache balloon to hang in the garden but I am making a world map pin board to show off my framed holiday photos. 

World map wall art appears quite popular and you can buy framed maps on canvas from many places such as The Range, Ikea, B&Q or Ebay etc but that would be simple, wouldn’t it?  And I’m sure you’re beginning to see from this blog that I don’t always want to take the simple route preferring instead to blaze my own trail rather than follow the rest of the herd. 

As I don’t know when we’ll get round to having the lounge/diner replastered then I’m using one of the derelict diner walls as a blank canvas for a large collage style travel wall with a framed world map taking centre stage. 

Here’s how I’m making my world map pin board:

I’ve cut a piece of 3mm MDF board approx 6cm larger than the area of my map which I purchased from a website called GB Posters.

Vintage style map of the world - 91 cm x 61 cm

 

Now sticking a paper map straight onto a piece of MDF is not going to give you much scope for pushing in pins to highlight all those wonderful places in the world that you’ve travelled to so a bit of padding needs to be provided under the map. 

I had considered using old cork tiles or even cork roll of the sort used by model railway buffs for this purpose but the price of cork is quite expensive so I’ve gone down a different road and used a pack of polystyrene board normally used for insulation.  You can buy this in B&Q for just over £10 a pack.

 

Polystyrene board - perfect for padding

These polystyrene sheets are only 3mm thick so I’ve doubled them up to give me a thicker pin cushion layer.  Easy to cut with a craft knife and can be glued together with PVA craft glue.  Your polystyrene layer should be cut the same size as the map.

 

Doubled up polystyrene to create deep padding

Next glue the cushion layer centred across your MDF panel.  There should be a nice border all the way round that can be painted in a colour to suit your decorative scheme.  I’ve gone for a light grey colour to achieve a nice contrast with the framed edge.

 

Padding layers stuck in place and border area painted

Using pine mouldings, create a picture frame border to sit on top of your MDF panel.  Paint then glue into place using grip fill or another strong adhesive.  Caulk the mitred corner joins, touching up with paint as necessary.

 

Pine mouldings cut to form a frame

Paint mouldings before fitting to base board

Stick mouldings to base board with grip fill

Caulk corner joins and touch up with paint

Add brackets to the back of your panel to secure it to a wall.  

Lastly, carefully stick your map onto the polystyrene cushion.  Ensure you flatten out any air bubbles.  A word of warning here – this part is actually quite tricky.  I used PVA glue to stick my map to the padding but in hindsight, I wish I’d invested in a can of spray glue as this may have resulted in less air bubbles.  Wetting the paper with damp glue also makes your map quite brittle and prone to tearing whereas spray glue may not.

 

Stick map onto padded cushion and dry flat before hanging

I’ve used some heavy cookbooks during the drying process to keep the map from lifting.  If you want to add a clear protective layer to the front of your map, apply a clear self-adhesive plastic covering before sticking into place.

 

Make one in your own chosen colours

Voila!  A lovely world map pin board ready to take centre stage on the travel wall.

More about that in the next post.

PIMMS O'CLOCK

Got any petrol?  What about loo rolls?  Or a nice bit of frozen chicken?  The world has gone bonkers brawling over fuel in local filling stations, whatever next!  

Welcome to the post Covid, post Brexit, and probably soon to be post Boris world if Keir Starmer gets his way.  This is modern Britain where impatience, hostility and hatred festers under a scab of selfish lawlessness.  It’s every man, woman or whatever for themselves especially if you’re after premium unleaded or KFC.  Common sense it seems has been firmly flushed down life’s loo. 

To diffuse the stresses of modern life, the doctor (via a telephone consultation) has prescribed furniture recycling as the NHS can’t afford to dole out medication to the masses any more preferring instead to take a ‘watch and wait till we’re all dead’ approach before it actually does anything.  It’s going to take more than an infusion of National Insurance contributions to resuscitate this Lazarus, you can be sure of that. 

Meanwhile back at the freezing ranch (can’t afford heating you know!), it’s Pimms O’Clock – that is it’s time to get my snazzy cocktail cabinet recycling project off the ground.  Since cocktails are likely to be cheaper than diesel by the end of the week, it pays to have somewhere nice to store your margaritas and mojitos while the rest of the world argues over who’s getting the last chicken drumstick in the Tesco freezers.

Art Deco bow fronted cabinet

Purchased from Ebay

 

Here's how I’m jazzing up the cocktail hour:

Before you begin, give your cabinet a jolly good cleaning to remove all traces of dust and grease.

Wallpaper the back face of the cabinet.  This part is a bit tricky because the wallpaper has to be stuck on from the inside of the cabinet.  Use standard wallpaper adhesive to glue into position then to protect, seal with Modge Podge, PVA or satin varnish etc.  Leave to dry for a couple of days.

Clean cabinet thoroughly to ensure all dust removed

Wallpaper the back face - stick on with wallpaper adhesive

My cabinet has been through the wars and sustained a number of injuries.  There's no shelving, a glass panel is missing from the door, one of the decorative battens is missing at the front plus there's a whole host of scratches and dinks in the walnut finish.  With a bit of care and TLC, all of these defects can be fixed.

Shelves were created using a cardboard template to follow the shape of the interior.  Cut shelves from MDF then paint/varnish in your preferred colour.  Luckily, although the cabinet did not have the usual glass shelves, the shelf pegs were still in place making it easy for me to position the new ones.

Vintage looking lock added

Decorate your key with a nice tassel purchased from Ebay

The cabinet had an old lock fitted but no key making it difficult to smoothly open the door from the outside.  You can buy old style vintage lock and key sets from Ebay or online but I found one almost the same size and type in a local hardware shop.  Unscrew old lock plate inside the cabinet and refit with new one.  Hey presto!  Nice working lock and key without spoiling the outside of the cabinet.

 

Furniture crayons to touch up scratches

If you are not painting your cabinet a different colour, minor scratches and dinks can be disguised using furniture crayons in a matching colour.  I like the original walnut veneer so am doing my best to keep it as authentic as possible and these crayons diminished the worst of the scratches quite a bit.

Repairing the door is going to take a bit of thought but as always, I have a cunning plan that might do the trick.

Using a piece of modelling timber purchased from Hobbycraft, I've created a paper template of the batten on the other side and flipped it round to make a mirror image.

Making the missing batten

I've applied a few coats of stain and varnish to the batten to try and get it to closely match the walnut veneer.  Now it is ready to glue into position once I've fitted the replacement perspex panel into place.  Fingers crossed, it should look like this once finished.

Looks as good as new

Project progress has ground to a halt while I source a supplier of clear plastic sheeting that can be cut to size as a replacement glass panel for the door but watch this space for a photo of the grand finale.

Cheers, me dears!  Make mine a porn-star martini, shaken not stirred.