SSES - SMART SECURE ELECTRICITY SYSTEMS

Imagine you’re watching your favourite soap opera on the telly, it’s just about to get to that nail-biting climax when PFFFT! Your TV has unexpectedly switched off. Not by you but by unseen fingers…

You’re relaxing in a nice hot shower, luxuriating under a torrent of deliciously warm water after a hard day’s work. You’ve primed up the loofah with a squirt of jasmine scented shower gel ready to give your aching limbs a good scrubbing when AAAHHHH! That nice jet of hot water suddenly becomes an ice-cold dribble.

But I never touched the controls…

Fast forward a few months. It’s the coldest winter since 1963. Even the tortoise is sleeping under a fleecy blanket. You’re wearing a Sherpa grade 10 tog padded cardigan but still chilled to the bone. There’s an ice floe developing on the surface of your cuppa. I’ll just pop the heating on for a few minutes to take the edge off when ZZZZZTTTT! You turn the thermostat dial but nothing happens…

Welcome to the SSES world! Smart Secure Electricity Systems – the latest tool in the oppressor’s arsenal. This is what's triggered my spidey-sense into shock mode.

Behold a new world of smart gadgetry. Every electrically powered item you own is now a ‘smart’ gizmo not only connected to the internet but with the capability of being remotely controlled. Not by you but by someone else. Probably your energy supplier. Or some other Big Brother type entity specifically set up by the Government to become the Kilowatt Kontroller.

Unbeknown to most of us, a series of consultations has been taking place on the Q T since 2024 on this new world order. The driving force something described in the consultation document as ‘Consumer Lead Flexibility’ or CLF.

What bollocks! There’s no ‘flexibility’ about having human behaviour manipulated so that people are forced to change the way they act which is exactly what’s happened since the energy sector was made to introduce Time of Use Tariffs. The powers that be have contrived to funnel us down this hole for some time now and succeeded due to the gullibility/greediness of human nature.

If you think the Crazy Chi Lady has been eating too many magic mushrooms, you can read the consultation documents yourself via these links:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6808a2630324470d6a394eb2/SSES-consultation-response.pdf

https://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/delivering-a-smart-and-secure-electricity-system-implementation

But the nub of it is that to save the Government having to spend vast amounts of cash upgrading the existing energy infrastructure, all future electrical appliances available for punters to buy will be ‘smart’ appliances meaning that they’ll come with internet connectivity that can then be remotely controlled if need be.

SSES will begin with a limited roll-out encompassing only heat pumps or hot water systems but believe me once the Kilowatt Kontroller (KK) demonstrates how effective a remote-controlled energy supply is then what’s to stop this approach being extended to every single power consuming gadget in a household?

There won’t be a need for expensive upgrades to the National Grid because when it looks like demand for power is inching closer to ground zero, the KK can simply dial down the nation’s consumption by adjusting thermostats or capping the amount of energy a household can consume.

The reality is that you don’t even need any WIFI gadgets for this to happen because energy providers have already got the capability of altering your power supply through smart meters. They could if they really wanted to, switch off your energy at source by turning it off at the meter remotely. One of the key reasons why I’ve resisted having one installed in the first place. ‘Oh, I thought that was just your usual paranoia’ mutters the other half from behind his own laptop screen.

Somewhere in the document it goes on to say that households will be given the opportunity to ‘opt in’ to the SSES regime and be rewarded for it in the form of discounted energy bills. Ha, ha, ha. What tosh! Do you think that if there’s a national power emergency, the Grid are going to ascertain who has opted in or not before flicking the OFF switch? Of course not.

I may be over-reacting (you are) but do I really want to live in a world where I’m forced to buy a product that is not totally within my control? That could be infiltrated without my knowledge without so much as a by-your-leave? A world where I am deprived of the freedom of choice? Where my right to heat my own home when I want and for as long as I want is snatched away? Well, I don’t!

I’m sorry but if this isn’t a Big Brother approach then what is? I’m certainly not buying any gadgets that can be remotely controlled by anyone because if that is not a form of oppression then I don’t know what is.

Muse summed up this scenario perfectly in verse 2 of their song ‘Uprising’

Another promise, another seed
Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed
And all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined

THEY WILL NOT CONTROL US

POWER GRAB

OMG! The power grab has begun!

Whilst the world’s attention is focussed on Andy Pandy’s triumphant march into No 10 or Spain’s glorious World Cup win, it’s another front-page nugget that’s got my mind racing. Big Brother is coming for your heat pumps!!!

Front page - The Telegraph 20 July 26

I feel like Crazy Charlie from that apocalyptic disaster movie ‘2012’ – he’s that fabulously deranged character living in a dilapidated camper van whose mad ravings about the end of the world have fallen on deaf ears. Only John Cusack realises that maybe Crazy Charlie isn’t so crazy after all and is making a point worth listening to.

Crazy Charlie - 2012

I’m Crazy Chi Lady. I’ve been trying to warn you all about the remote access capability of your energy systems on this blog and how easy it would be for suppliers to steal your power using smart meters or other smart internet gadgets. I suspect my demented ravings have just been dismissed as populist paranoia but now I fear, it may be too late for some of you.

Unlike Crazy Charlie, I have about 4 followers on this blog and no personal radio channel so it’s a little bit harder to get the message out there but as always, I’m not letting these minor shortcomings stand in the way of getting the word out.

Electricity rationing. I said it about 6 weeks ago (Leccy Rationing post) and I’ll say it again – they are going to control your power supply. Invisibly. Via your smart meters or other connected internet devices. There will be NOTHING you can do to stop them. Only those who are NOT connected to the grid via one of these devices will be spared initially.

I say initially because ultimately, if the Grid doesn’t get its shit together then it will just shut down completely causing major power outages across the nation so we'll all be buggered.

Power blackouts = no internet. No smartphones. No social media. No access to news. No tea (unless you’ve got a gas hob). Nothing. Just blackness. And silence. Enjoy The Silence said Depeche Mode. Yes, enjoy it because the quicker we shut out all this cyber noise, the faster we’ll be able to engage brains to survive the cold.

It will begin with heat pumps. Big Brother will sneakily turn down your thermostat a notch or two, not enough to cause icicle formation but you might feel a slight nip in the air when you leave a room to go to the toilet. Then AI will decide how long your heating will run for. Snooty rich Southerners more likely to get less heating time than poor, deprived Northerners who lack the benefit of warm sea currents to take the edge off cold weather.

From heat pumps, central control will then spread to solar systems especially those with battery storage. There’ll be no cheap overnight charging for you. Hope you’ve got a good pair of sturdy walking boots in the cupboard for when you have to hike miles to work because EV charging has been rationed.

The article states that Britain’s electricity supply typically comes under the most strain during winter cold snaps. No shit Sherlock. Remind me, what is it climate scientists have been repeating till the cows come home? Hotter summers – colder winters. COLDER. Extended cold spells possibly the result of La Nina, the chillier ying to the sweltering El Nino yang are more than likely given the natural patterns of planetary weather.

So, if COLDER weather might become the new normal then it follows that demand for heating is going to increase. Since the Government have done nothing but persuade us all to electrify our lives then they should have long ago anticipated that MORE power will need to be generated to satisfy the population’s needs. Of course, they probably haven’t done so because instead of ensuring that back up power plants are in place, they will take their usual approach which is to BAN or RESTRICT the use of the underlying resource.

I’ll leave it there because there’s a third thing in this article that’s rendered me speechless. It’s something I find so shocking that I’m off for a walk round the garden to calm my frayed nerves.

What has caused me to clam up like a cockle? You’ll just have to wait until the next post to find out.

WORLD CUP CHICKEN

It’s staying home, it’s staying, chicken’s staying home…

We’re not a competitive family. Well, not that much. Let’s just say there’s a strong desire in all of us to be winners, not losers so whenever there’s any kind of competition, pub quiz, sporting event, etc then naturally everyone goes all out to be top of the heap.

The World Cup tournament is no exception. When it comes to footie, there are long-standing family traditions to abide by namely the winning of the World Cup Chicken.

Three wings on a shirt, Chicken cup still gleaming…

The World Cup Chicken Trophy

This trophy almost as prestigious as the real one resides at the front of our cocktail cabinet, emerging every four years for the family footie sweepstake.

I can’t even recall how I acquired the thing – probably scooped up on some bygone charity shop shopping trip but even with its badly hand-painted exterior, beady eyes and random gold spots, it is a thing of beauty. It’s also the perfect repository for our pound coins, entry fee and prize money for our sweepstake. Due to inflation, each coin now acts as a token fiver as that’s what the winner receives from each participating family member.

Place your bets

Teams are drawn totally at random, names written on scraps of paper pulled from a Tupperware container that’s ceremoniously passed round in a flurry of laughing and much larking around. Even at this stage, competitive banter abounds as teams as loudly cheered or booed before being hastily jotted down then officially circulated on a spreadsheet to prevent any allegations of cheating or corruption.

The draw

Once drawn, that’s your footballing lot. No selling or swapping of teams with other family members is permitted. Your destiny or path to lifting the Chicken is completely in the lap of the Gods or rather the numpties on the pitch.

But it doesn’t end there as someone’s got to update the spreadsheet. Guess who? It’s the person with the least interest in football but who loves tinkering with spreadsheets and has nothing better to do since leaving the rat race. I’ll have you know, I take this job very seriously. I may not watch any of the games but believe me, rigorous checking of results follows.

To keep up the family fun, I email the spreadsheet round after each major stage in the tournament accompanied by some frivolous punditry, banter and other tongue-in-cheek remarks designed to gee up everyone.

As teams get knocked out, things get quite high-spirited as anyone still left in at this stage is mentally drawing up a list of things they’ll spend that prize money on (all of £36) and hoping they’ll be the one who gets to keep the Chicken for the next four years.

If Spain reach the final in any given World Cup year, there’s a family pilgrimage to the Ancient Mariners house to watch ‘El Partido’ (the match), sink a few beers and be proud of our Spanish heritage. Faces painted in red and yellow and wearing a motley assortment of footie kits, red T-shirts or random Hispanic themed garments to cheer on our team. Vamos! It’s such a hoot!

A tense finale to this year’s tournament between Argentina (daughter) and Spain (other half), with the best team giving those barging Argies a deserved thrashing. GOL!!!!!!

Spain lifts the trophy

World Champions 2026 - Spain

Having lifted the Chicken, scooped up his winnings, the other half has proudly hung his Spanish football shirt out of the bedroom window so that all the neighbourhood can see that in this household, it’s Viva Espana and not Three Lions.

What will the neighbours think?

BURN 'EM!

I don’t like Mondays, least of all those Mondays where a new Prime Minister is being ushered in to No 10.

The question in our household is not what policies will be proposed by this new incumbent but how long he’ll last in the hot seat. There’s another 3 years until the next general election and at today’s current PM replacement rate then we could easily see one, possible two more in power before we hit the polling stations.

Any other disappointed Muse fans reading this post? Well, weep no more at the lack of decently-priced tickets for their gigs for I have discovered the antidote to this dynamic pricing snake bite which I’m going to share with the world at large. It's Cydonia Knights.

A brilliant tribute to Muse

Cydonia Knights are billed as the UK’s premier Muse tribute band and having checked out their grooves last Friday night at The Brook, Southampton, I can honestly say that unlike Ticketmaster, they didn’t disappoint. Great gig!

They may have lacked pyros or the over-the-top visual stage show that usually accompanies well established bands but musically, I shut my eyes and was instantly transported back to my favourite Muse album – The Resistance.

‘You’re beginning to sound like Jeremy Corbyn’s sister’ groaned the other half as from my bar stool I began to spout forth on how the dynamic ticketing menace could be quashed once and for all if every gig-going punter voted with their feet en masse and just stopped buying tickets. 

Hype. Demand. Price Hike. That’s the formula used to manipulate fans into coughing up more than is decent to watch musical acts but if there were no audiences then surely things would have to change? Up the revolution! That’s what I say (fist pump).

Tribute bands – the closest you’ll get to your heroes at a fraction of the price. These are the unsung stalwarts of the music world. And just to give you an idea of how cost effective it is to follow these bands then here’s a numerical example to put things into perspective:

Cheapest single ticket for Muse at the O2 London on Ticketmaster = £113

Single ticket for Cydonia Knights at The Brook = £15

Seven fans can go to see a Muse tribute band for the same price as one Ticketmaster seated ticket.

Another thing about tribute bands is that whilst many of them may not physically resemble those that they are paying homage to like The Devout (Depeche Mode tribute); they often give fans a better listening experience usually playing longer sets so you get more bang for your buck.

These humble bands are not hampered by having to promote a new album so can deliver all those popular favourite tracks beloved by fans plus throw a few obscurer album tracks into the mix. Tracks that many real bands rarely play live. Yeah, Radiohead. I still remember your gig at the O2 where you failed to play ‘Creep’ – the track your fans were most desperate to hear on the night.

And so, this brings me neatly back to our new PM. Is he the real PM thing or just a bad tribute to a band of manipulative, cowardly, Labour party reprobates who will throw him under the political bus as soon as he shows he’s got a mind of his own and isn't toeing the party line?

‘Burn ‘em!’ is what we’re all likely to be shouting after the next Budget.