WINTER PRUNING

The trouble with working in a greenhouse type building is that you have to endure the worst of greenhouse like temperatures and in the current Baltic climate it’s no laughing matter when the car park is warmer than the office’s 3^rd floor thanks to the marvel called air conditioning.  If we’re freezing our arses off in Poole, spare a thought for those ‘chilled cheddars’ working in London’s new Cheese-Grater and in the Gherkin, well I’m sure the phrase ‘cool as a cucumber’ is generally used to describe frozen extremities not veg.  I know that out there in some parallel universe, I’m sat on a sunny balcony overlooking a spectacular vista lapping up the rays whilst sipping pina coladas and casually flicking the odd fly that happens to invade my personal space.  It’s this firm belief in random quantum theories that helps me get through winter.

Meanwhile back on my own planet, it’s time to get down to the serious business of deflating my spare tyres.  As it’s far too frosty to snip even the hardiest of shrubs without risk of death (to the plant that is), I’m cutting the calories instead of winter pruning.  And this time it’s pretty serious.  I mean Slimming World serious.  This time next winter, I hope to be able to hide behind my Vibernum bush without my ‘love handles’ sticking out from the sides.  Cake is definitely off the agenda!

I’m certainly NOT going to reveal my starting weight as this figure when converted into milligrams is almost the size of the national debt but let’s just say that when one of the slimming group’s members said she wanted to lose enough weight so that she could strap into her airline seat this summer, my target is to be able to travel out of the hold. 

So let the battle of the bulge commence!  For once, I would like not to resemble a Teletubby in my garden.

HOLE LOTTA FUN IN JAPAN

You've got to hand it to the Japanese for coming up with some of the most outlandish pursuits.  Today I read in the paper that Japan was hosting its National Hole Digging Competition.  Over 1,000 people took part in the competition which awarded prizes for the deepest hole, the most creative hole and for the most original costume being worn for digging.  First prize a golden shovel and around 100,000 YEN (about £820).  What I'd like to know is who gets to fill in the holes afterwards?

WINTER IN MADRID

Just got back from a week in Madrid to find our tortoise buried under two inches of bark chippings, a green flannel and a large bundle of straw.  Shelby’s well prepared for the icy Siberian weather that has heralded the arrival of that unwanted guest, winter.  I’ve transferred my holiday thermals from suitcase to the top drawer for work wear next week.   As it’s too cold to contemplate anything other than clinging to the radiator, I’ve hunkered down in front of the PC with a cup of steaming hot tea to sift through my holiday photos, all 250 of them. 

First impressions of Madrid – a great city with a proud heritage reflected in its grandiose buildings, stunning fountains and smartly dressed, fur coated citizens.  Unlike Barcelona with its quirky, bohemian air, Madrid is a city full of mouth-watering jamon museums, beer bars and never ending cafes tempting you with chocolate and churros.  If your heart chose to stop, you couldn’t have picked a better place to end up than face down in a plateful of freshly fried churros.  There definitely was no point starting a post-Christmas diet whilst in Spain.

Jamon Museum - Has the tastiest exhibits in the city

But it’s not all cream tarts and tapas, Madrid is also a city of culture with plenty of interesting museums some large enough to age you by 5 years.  We scoured El Prado for a glimpse of the famous ‘Maja’ whilst ear-wigging bizarre conversations relating to the absence of pubic hair in the 1800s.  Well, I guess you do have to wonder what ladies did before Immac.

The Nude Maja by Goya

From the top of the tourist bus, we were able to get a good view of both the historic and modern parts of the city.  Here’s our top 10 of places we saw in Madrid and a really good web site to look at if you're planning a visit:  http://www.madrid-tourist-guide.com/

Plaza Mayor

Puerta del Sol

Prado Museum

Bernabeu Stadium

Inside the stadium - home to Real Madrid FC

Palacio Real

Cristal Palace in the Retiro Park

Retiro Park Lake

Teleferico to the Casa de Campo

Botanical Gardens

Cathedral de la Almudena

Plaza de Cibeles