ITS CHRISTMAS?

Its Christmas!  Is it?  Hang on a mo, I’ve only just cleared the garden of rocket sticks and burnt out sparklers, I’m not ready for jingle bells. 

Our back garden Clanger firework display

It’s only the middle of November but not according to the retail industry who have already decked the shopping halls with boughs of holly, assaulting our ears with ‘Frosty the Snowman’ on a continual fruit loop from dawn till dusk.  Don’t they know it’s not cool for yule to be before December?

I know exactly how you feel

As if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s been more drama in our office this past fortnight than in a whole month of EastEnders.  All the constant sniping, bitching, whingeing, back-stabbing and tears before my 9.30 am cappuccino – its soooo exhausting!  I’ll be glad to see the back of all that when I retire.

And that’s exactly what I’ve been spending my time on, dear readers, obsessing about retirement or more importantly, how to bring this about sooner rather than later.  Instead of updating this blog, I’ve been poring over pensions, discovering the ins and outs of draw-down plans and trying to get my noggin round the nuances of  ‘death taxes’ and how to avoid them.

Say no more ...

It’s made me realise that all those years I thought I was feathering my nest for a comfortable retirement I’ve actually been a Fund Manager for the Treasury.  For every 20p the Government has given me in pension tax relief, I have unwittingly been investing this for them for free so that they can reap a hugely inflated tax reward later when I decide to get my grubby paws on pension proceeds.  Auto-enrolment kerrr-ching!  No wonder Spreadsheet Phil’s rubbing his hands with glee at the success of the new ‘pension freedoms’.  Who’s the real mug? 

To sweeten the bitter pill of the unfairness of life, I’ve introduced Ginge to the wonders of YouTube’s bird videos for cats.  

Bird videos for cats - it's mesmerising

Freeview have definitely missed a trick here by not hosting a kitty channel full of bird movies.  He’s been glued to the monitor for hours, chattering away and swatting the screen every now and then.  It’s hilarious.  Trouble is now I can’t get on the PC to update this blog!

In case it tries to fly away

Trying to pack?  Not now, there's a birdie