Happy New Covid!
It’s
all well and good the Government presenting you with fancy graphs, statistics
and face/arse washing advice to help protect you against Covid but what about
an outbreak of badgers?
New variant of woolly badger
Here
in Chichester this new variant is running rampant. The B rate which was at 1 last week has risen
exponentially to 3 but it’s anyone’s guess as to how quickly this will
spread. Clarity from the Government as
to how the public should deal with badgers is being sought.
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| Any news on the badger outbreak? |
Conspiracy theories about badgers have begun to spread on the internet with claims that woolly badgers were deliberately knitted by the Chinese to discredit American honey badgers. Others believe that badgers have been programmed by Bill Gates to bite people in order to insert a brain washing microchip into anyone stupid enough to think badgers are cute, friendly little creatures.
Change the channel and I'll bite you
Anti-badger
vaccine protestors such as Brian Maybe claim that under no circumstances should
you attempt to give badgers a vaccine as this may cause an adverse reaction and
lead to them digging up lawns.
Never feed them after midnight
If
you have an outbreak of badgers then my advice is to drive as far away as
possible to somewhere like Barnard Castle (Dominic Cumming’s recommendation), wear
a scary Halloween mask if you need to go outside, wash your feet frequently, and
eat Pringles. Don’t do these last two at
the same time though as the Pringles might go soggy. This may not get rid of badgers but will give
you something more amusing to do whilst in self isolation.
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| Anti Badger Hand Wash |
1 comment:
I'll tell you why there's an outbreak
of badgers..Cos! since the TB nonsense,
l've not been able to 'EAT' any...! :).
It's years since l've been able to put
a badger ham in the oven to roast..! :(.
I was a year old when we came to this country
first, and my Dad, got a job on the buses...
As a bus conductor..so traveling round as he
did, if the driver saw any road~kill, he'd
stop, Dad would give it a shake..O.K..so home
it came!
So, during my working years, l did the same thing,
though always looked a bit strange, a 6ft 3in guy
in a three piece suit, dicky~bow etc..cutting the
haunches off a badger, on the side of the road,
though mostly it was to pick up pheasant, rabbits etc...
God! I've lost the plot now..That's the trouble with this
sort of comment feature..can't go back to the post...!
As a reminder...! :(.
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