CONCRETE FLOOR

Did somebody say ‘Just Eat’? Well that’s exactly what I’m doing at this very minute, stuffing my face full of pasta whilst desperately trying not to drip meatballs or tomato sauce over the laptop.

Just another few mouthfuls to go

I’m not usually a lunchtime eater, preferring to get by on a skimpy midday snack then tuck into a wholesome dinner later with the other half but today I’m giving blood for the first time and for once, eating loads is the order of the day.

Give blood, you've given the NHS everything else

A little apprehensive about parting with some of the precious red stuff but as I’ve given the NHS so many organs over the years (gallbladder, ovaries, etc) then a pint of blood shouldn’t make much difference. As an O negative type donor, my blood is apparently highly sought after – pity I can’t charge the NHS for it as the extra cash might have helped towards heating bills.

And on the subject of food, a word or two about the latest Birds Eye Green Cuisine advert before I update this post with the latest extension progress.

Now I don’t know how many of you have seen this advert on the telly but essentially a little girl asks her mum why they don’t eat Birds Eye Green Cuisine nuggets then goes on to ask if its because her mum doesn’t like change or to do anything other than what she’s always done. Every time I see this advert, the other half has to bind and gag me to prevent sharp objects being thrown at the TV because this seemingly harmless advert just makes my blood boil.

Available to watch on YouTube but makes sure everything fragile is out of reach

If that was my child, I’d be filling in the adoption papers before she could have finished eating her dinner. My response to her very smart alec question would go something like this:

‘I’m glad you asked me that question, you sanctimonious little entitled brat and I hope you’ll respect the answer I’m about to give you. We don’t eat Birds Eye Green Cuisine nuggets not because I don’t like change but because we live in a democratic nation with freedom of choice to eat whatever we like. Your friends and her family have made a life style choice not to eat meat but you and every other veggie in the land have to respect that it is a PERSONAL lifestyle choice and not mandatory for everyone to eat non meat items. Personally, I prefer to eat food that hasn’t been made in a test tube or resulted in the deforestation of half the planet for the planting of soya crops plus I’m not made of money. I’m sure your new vegetarian foster family will be happy to rustle you up a plate of these fake nuggets that cost a small fortune. Now, be a love and go and pack your suitcase as Social Services will be here in 10 mins to pick you up.’

Shame on you Birds Eye – don’t think to foist your totalitarian vegetarian views on us with your condescending marketing because I’ll show you who is going to embrace change by NOT buying any of your products ever again!!!

Birds Eye is off the menu - give me real meat any day!

Sorry kids, I know you are both veggies but mama's not giving up bacon and that's all there is to it.

And breathe ….. Having got that little rant out of my system it’s time to focus on food yet again as this week our builders are making a floor sandwich.

The floor to the extension is a proper ‘doorstop’ type butty, made of thick layers of everything. It’s a super Subway, the sort that’s got so many fillings or sauces in it that you usually end up with most of it on your T shirt than in your mouth. A bit like my pasta lunch.

How to make a floor sandwich

A floor sandwich begins with a layer of sand, followed by several layers of celotex insulation board thicker than the Communist Manifesto plus damp proof membrane that are laid on top of the interior concrete foundation.

My indoor swimming pool is now a sand pit

Celotex insulation board

This is then topped with a very generous layer of concrete so that a solid sandwich of materials is created between the original foundation and the top of the floor. There are no damp, draughty cavities just lots of heat retaining layers.