FOR FOX SAKE

As a keen knitter, I was much bemused to read an article in this week’s Times newspaper relating to an alleged racial offence committed at Rochester’s Christmas Market where someone had the audacity to be selling knitted Mo Farah dolls.  How a knitted doll could be any more offensive than either a photograph, carving or oil painting of Sir Mo is beyond me and I’m sure Sir Mo would be more than chuffed to be considered worthy of this handcrafted homage but clearly to the good people of Kent it’s a crime worthy of punishment.

Knitting and crocheting is in itself an art form, a medium of woolly self-expression showcasing patience, dexterity and imagination.  It is not a weapon of racialism or any other ‘ism’, it’s merely a relaxing way of passing the time. 

Thus taking the view of the good people of Kent and looking at all the items I’ve recently knitted for our fundraising Christmas Fair then it looks like half my stock is now destined for the scrapheap on the basis that it would not be PC compliant as follows:

Foxes – considered vermin and frequently found scavenging in smelly bins or biting toddlers, not deemed to be cute or cuddly.

Promise I don't bite

Snowmen – contain the word ‘man’ which is now considered sexist. Should be referred to as ‘snowperson’ or ‘snow+’ and made less masculine in appearance.

Snowballs!

Gingerbread Men and Christmas puddings – depict sugary food items thus banned for encouraging obesity and see previous point on sexism.  Re-naming them ‘ginger person’ instantly brings to mind Prince Harry. 

Low calorie tree decorations

Toy Soldiers – a definite NO as deemed to be condoning warfare or violence and too much of a reminder that a huge chunk of the British economy centres round the manufacture or selling of arms to just about anyone with a cheque book.

Nutcrackered

Nativity figures – blatant religious imagery so offensive to just about everyone except Christians even though Christmas is technically all about the birth of Jesus.

Peace and goodwill to all 'person' kind

Of course if vegans had their way, knitting/crocheting would also be added to the list of capital offences since both these crafts use wool which according to them is ‘stolen’ from sheep.  So I guess this makes me and every other knitting biddy out there guilty of fencing stolen goods every time we knock up a pair of socks or an Argyle sweater. 

Stealing from sheep - punishable by death

Knitted racialism and wool ‘stolen’ from sheep, I mean have you ever heard anything more ridiculous?  This time the PC brigade has clearly overstepped the bounds of sense and sensibility.