MEANS MEANZ BEANZ

So, mean old Uncle Ebenezer Beeb is thinking of scrapping free TV licences for the over 75’s.  Shame on you!  This is the thin end of the OAP wedge, my ancient friends.  As soon as this motion is passed, it’ll open the floodgates to a greater means tested retirement.

TV Tax - coming to a screen near you

Biddy bashing is trending now, a term my other half hates more than artichokes and which usually results in him doing the opposite to everyone else.  After all, who wants to live their life like a sheep following the rest of the brainwashed, internet influenced flock?

But back to retirement means testing.  Pass me my Cynical cap and puke bucket.  Ta.  The Government is as concerned about us all having a nice comfy retirement as a hungry crocodile is about gobbling us up as an amuse bouche.  My bouche is definitely not amused at the thought of having worked hard and done the right thing in providing for my old age, I then discover that the biddy benefits rug I thought I’d paid for from a lifetime of NI contributions is going to be pulled out from under my feet. 

Was that a hungry crocodile over there?

Just wait and see. As soon as enough years of auto-enrolment have passed and everyone’s built up sizeable pension pots, the Government will decree that all old age benefits will be even more means tested than they already are.  No-one except the poorest of the poor will be entitled to anything ‘free’ but that really was the point of their auto-enrolment campaign all along if you haven’t already figured it out for yourself.

https://www.moneywise.co.uk/news/2018-01-10/state-pension-fund-could-run-out-soon-2032

I’m sure I’m not the only over 55 year old cynic out there who has realised just what a pup saving for retirement is turning out to be.  Not only are the Revenue taking a sizeable chunk of my personal pension pot in tax, fat cat fund managers are taking hefty fees just for babysitting my investments and then being deemed ‘well off’ by Government standards for having more that £1.55 in savings, my free bus pass, winter fuel allowance, pension credit, subsidised health care, etc, etc and even State Pension are soon to fly out the wrinkly window. 

Fat Cat Fund Manager - busy watching over your assets

Having means is going to mean eating baked beans for the rest of my days.  A pensioners ‘well off’ status will be no more than the figment of a civil servant’s cost cutting imagination and at this rate only MPs, fund managers or anyone else that had any substantial wealth before retirement will be pulling in a pension big enough to afford more than beans.

Yummy!  Beans for dinner again

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I wish I’d opted out of all my private pension plans years ago and just stuck my cash in a tax free ISA or frittered away my hard earned salary on having the best time ever.  Then in retirement with no dosh to keep me in Hob Knobs or hairnets, I’d be entitled to every free benefit under the sun instead of being continually milked like an old age cash cow until compulsory euthanasia becomes Government policy. 

Beware pensions pitfalls

So, bring it on Uncle Ebenezer Beeb.  Who needs a TV licence anyway?  I’d much rather be out in my garden growing pumpkins than watching all that reality rubbish that passes for entertainment these days.