PUMPKIN PATCH

My garden is the dropped stitch in the rich tapestry of life.  The Green Fingered Party has for some time struggled to get a mandate to return order into our very own veg or no veg Brexit.  This cannot continue.

Deal or no deal?  It's a mess alright.

The other half is growing motor racing flags instead of veggies

Since May started, undesirables parties (Weed UK and Ericaceous Rebellion) have stealthily tried to get a toe in the door of our private paradise so now a Canute-like stance will need to be adopted to drive these back, back, back into the verdant shadows.

Order in the borders is what's needed

Pumpkins are not just for Halloween you know.  This year we hope to grow our own candle lit monstrosities and so far, so good.  Twelve hearty specimens germinated from seed quicker than proposals for an Irish backstop and my workplace Adopt-A-Pumpkin scheme has managed to see all leftover plants placed in good homes.

Baby pumpkin plants grown from seed

Pumpkins are a powerhouse of vitamins and healthiness (err, why are we growing them?) being low in calories, full of anti-oxidants and handy as spooky candle holders.  With the right conditions, they’ll grow into whoppers or so I’m told.  All you need is a sunny, sheltered spot in well-drained soil and Bob’s your uncle, Fanny’s your aunt.  I’ve put mine in one of the veg beds under a large plastic propagator until global warming kicks in.

Transplanted into a nice sunny veg bed

Water your pumpkin plants carefully.  They love a good soaking but don’t like wet leaves as this often encourages disease.  Give them a good sloshing in the evening around the base of the plant.  With a bit of luck, come summer we’ll have pumpkins to be proud of.

Undercover mangetout agents

Netted up and ready to grow