COLD OR COVID?

                   

                  “Hello Covid my old friend,

You’ve come to stalk me yet again

Because my vision’s softly weeping

You left your germs whilst I was sleeping

And the tissues that are piling up again

Snot still remains

Within my throat, the soreness!”

No matter how hard you try to avoid those post summer colds, it seems they always catch up with you in the end.  Christmas is coming and so is the latest variant of Covid – this one’s called Pirola.

 

Not again!

Lurgi has been flagrantly dancing round the office, creating a conga line of nasal congestion, coughing and chestiness that you inevitably find yourself joining after a few swigs of Covonia against your better judgement at the pestilence party.  Raise those hankies in the air like you just don’t care! 

It’s been a SFH (sneeze from home) week.  Thanks to laptops and VPN portals, you can continue with your snotty nose to the grind and not have to take sick leave or inflict colleagues with your best impression of what heavy smoking could do to a hippopotamus with weak lungs.  Don’t you just hate colds?

 

Available from Amazon

Naturally I tested myself for Covid after painstakingly checking all the mini plastic vials in my long-forgotten test kits to find one with liquid that hadn’t evaporated since Johnson left No 10.  This one?  Nope.  This one?  Nope.  This one?  Aha, there’s just a smidge of the magical elixir left in this one.  Hurrah!

 

Has the liquid evaporated?

The test result thankfully came back negative but it got me wondering if these old kits would be geared up to pick up any new varieties of the dreaded C virus.  

Forgotten in the back  of the shoe cupboard

And even if they did, what can you do about it?  Self-isolation and sanitisation are so yesterday.  Cold or Covid?  No-one really cares any more as we've all been told to 'live with it' by the PTB (Powers That Be) who are no doubt hoping we'll all drop dead to reduce the overall global population, save the NHS or get rid of all those weakest links.

Public safeguards are pretty non-existent these days although I have to confess to keeping my plastic paranoia palace at work when the rest of the team happily ditched their Covid desk cubicles.  Yep, I’m the one still working in a goldfish bowl which I religiously spray every day with anti-bac but look where it’s gotten me.  

Just goes to show that if the lurgi’s gonna get you then it’s gonna get you.  Hello Mr Hippo, fancy a woodbine?