LOFT ART GALLERY OPENS

The thing no-one tells you when buying a chalet style house is how poorly insulated they are. They’re continually cold, particularly upstairs where bedrooms are often of the ‘room in roof’ variety and severely lacking in proper insulation-backed plasterboard or other means of heat retention.

Not quite an igloo but bloody cold inside

It’s all down to construction methods and materials used back when these types of homes were built. These days property developers have stringent building regs to comply with when it comes to insulation, back then I guess builders weren’t so bothered about their prospective buyers not being eskimos.

No matter that I’ve just spent a small fortune adding extra padding or boarding, the loft still remains colder than Siberia.

Holy moly or rather holey moly. Sit in your loft with the lights out. Go on, I dare you! You can see daylight from a million tiny gaps around the eaves or between roof tiles. It’s no wonder it’s so parky up here when the place is like a giant slab of Emmental cheese. Brrrr!!!

Almost as many holes as the loft

In the ideal world and with money to spare, it would be worth thinking about pitched roof insulation or re-felting but in the meantime prospective visitors to the newly inaugurated loft art gallery will just have to wear a thick duvet-like jumper or fleecy bed-socks.

Like the Tate Modern but colder

Maybe I should just turn the loft into a giant wine cellar although I doubt any vino laid down in this ready made wine cooler would last long enough to get warmed up by any summer sunshine.