RECORD UNIT - BACKSIDE

With the top panel firmly glued into position and painted to match the rest of the vinyl unit, it’s time to focus on the backside.

My backside needs covering

Why bother? What you can’t see isn’t going to matter I hear you say. Well, it does especially when you’re as picky as I am. Out of sight, out of mind – no! I’ll know it’s not properly finished then go slowly insane wondering if I should have painted it or not. Nope - no question about it, it’s just gotta be done.

In any case, photographic evidence shows it’s an unsightly backside rather like my own, full of uneven lumps, bumps – a view which should not be imposed on public sensitivities.

OMG what a dog's dinner!

A nice bit of thin ply is what’s needed to cover up this dog’s dinner. What luck, there’s enough left over from our last lot of furniture building antics to fit across the back.

What you need is a nice bit of ply

Cut to size, stain, wax then buff. I do enjoy a good buffing; it gives the old bingo wings a nice workout.

Stained, waxed and buffed to perfection

Carefully fix into place with some small panel pins. As you can see, our leftover ply wasn’t quite large enough for one complete piece so I’ve ended up having to use 2 separate bits to cover the lot.

Secure with small panel pins

There. No more ugly backside!

Ply nicely covers a multitude of sins

All that’s left to do is paint the ply panel black to match everything else and apply a couple of coats of clear varnish then the unit will be ready for the great reveal.

Back panel gives nice finish to compartments

MAGIC CARPETS

Counting down the days to new carpets and after 4 years without then all I can say is about time too!

Whilst waiting for the glued vinyl unit to dry out, using spare time to rip out the hall and stair flooring because what else is there to do on a cold damp February afternoon?

Boy, what a job that turned out to be! The carpet itself came up easily and in one long length so I was able to roll it up into a giant fluffy swiss roll as I worked my way backwards down the staircase but the underlay, what a palaver to remove.

Brown and sort of slimy rubber underlay secured to each step with gripper rods on both the riser and the treads plus a million staples, each one had to be removed individually using pliers.

Removing grippers and staples from staircase

Not hidden treasure but I did find a copy of the Chichester Observer lining the floor that dated back to Sept 1995. Headline news closure of W J Shippams, one of the town’s leading businesses and famous for its meat/fish pastes. A very interesting read.

Amazing what you find under an old carpet

What I thought would be a fairly quick job turned out to be a whole afternoon’s hard graft but after a lot of banging,crashing and cursing, all eventually got stripped out. I may have bruised knees yet it’s a small sacrifice in the quest for warmer floors.

Old carpet gone

Once more I’ll be able to walk barefoot in the bedroom, waking up to feel a soft cushioned surface underfoot instead of cold, splintery floorboards. 

Looking forward to something soft under foot

Of course, no wood floor means I won’t hear Bertie sneaking upstairs ready to pounce on me as I snuggle down in bed. He’s now taken to actually sleeping on top of my legs instead of next to them because as well as carpet stripper, I’m also a human cat bed.  How could I forget?

Is it bedtime?

RECORD UNIT - TOP

OMG these posts are longer than Homer’s Odyssey!

I’m not referring to that doughnut eating duh-brained character from Springfield but to the ancient Greek poet who penned the infamous epics the Illiad and the Odyssey, both of which should only be read if every library in the world has burnt down. Tedious I kid you not!

Homer

Almost as tedious as making furniture. I’m bored of this now. Bored, bored, bored. Can we do something else? The other half has that ‘I told you so’ air of smugness about him like someone who just knew politicians were in line for an above-inflationary pay award as soon as Labour got voted in or had snuck out a silent but deadly fart in a lift full of people. Whose idea was it anyway to build a vinyl storage unit? Oh bugger - it was mine.

Well, I suppose we’d best get it over with as there’s only the top and back left to do.

Having almost ruptured a kidney turning this very heavy cabinet the proper way up, I’m now in need of a lie down and half a dozen super strength horse tranquilisers. Given the current state of the health service, rupturing anything these days is like being handed a free invite to the Assisted Dying party but without the cocktails. Always make sure you adopt the proper manual handling stance and have help before attempting to lift anything the weight of a rhino.

Turning it the right way up

Having turned the encased unit the right way up, it’s time to attach the top panel. If we only knew how to properly dowel joints then you'd only need to knock the top panel smartly into place but as we don’t then it’s plan B.

Right way up and ready for the top piece

Plan B involves fixing the panel into place with some industrial strength adhesive – CT1, a substance that according to their sales rep could probably stick Gaza back together as it bonds pretty much any materials.

Before slathering the top side of your stained rectangular cube with a thick coating of glue, make sure that everything is cut exactly to size and will correctly align at every corner.

Make sure everything is aligned

Spread a nice thick coating of adhesive on the top – imagine its chocolate spread or something tasty. Make sure you’ve got good even coverage then place the final panel on top, aligning all corners and edges as you go. 

Top aligned to the side edge

When everything is in the right position, clamp down firmly and leave for a few days for the adhesive to completely cure.

Clamp and leave adhesive to completely cure

RECORD UNIT - SHELLED OUT

She sells cabinet shells by the seashore. And talking of selling but mostly buying, the newly inaugurated US President, Donald Trump, recently emailed me for advice on a piece of real estate he’s eyeing up that’s ripe for redevelopment.

For Sale

Being a savvy swoop bidder on Ebay and working for a builder’s merchant, I guess he thought I’d be just the person to provide some useful tips on how to bag a bargain or what materials work best when tarting up bomb sites.

Can’t say the phrase ‘one careful owner’ pops into mind when looking at this little lot but then once you’ve made America rich again, you’ll have plenty of dosh available for a lavish refurbishment of the whole site. More than I can say for our own property development project. Not sure what the going rate is these days for a piece of Israeli/Palestinian land, I’m sure it won’t be cheap!

And whilst my harmless post will no doubt be decreed completely and irresponsibly unacceptable by the WSB (Woke Speech Brigade) - move over Gino and Wynne, another freedom of speech casualty coming through; my heart does go out to all those innocent, displaced Palestinians who through no fault of their own have been left without a pot to piss in. I really hope you manage to find somewhere to live before Trump gets his grubby mitts on what’s left of your homes.

Meanwhile, back in my own carefully crafted bomb site, it’s time for a final assault on the vinyl storage unit as the temporary teas-fire has come to an end.

Having pimped up all your bits of pineboard with spit, sawdust and other decorating condiments, it’s time to put the outer shell onto the rectangular cube unit made earlier.

Beginning at the bottom this time by assembling the plinth. Place the plinth on a level surface next to your skirting board and lay the painted bottom panel on top so that it gently overlaps the skirting. This should enable the unit to sit back snuggly against the wall once in position.

Having jiggled the panel on top of the plinth until there is an even overhang at each side edge, carefully mark hole positions on the panel with a pencil to ensure that any screws are not visible once the rectangular cube is placed on top of the black panel.

Work out screw positions

Screw the black panel down from the top into the thick timber frame of the plinth to form a sturdy platform.

Bottom panel screwed down onto plinth

On a flat level surface, turn the pre-made rectangular cube upside down so that you have its bottom facing upwards. Turn the plinth platform upside down and lay this onto the long edge of the cube.

Attaching plinth to the bottom of unit

Next grab a painted side panel and using appropriate clamps, carefully secure to one side of the rectangular cube ensuring that the back edge of the black panel is aligned to the back edge of the cube. The importance of this will become more apparent later when you fit a ply backboard to the whole unit.

Screw the plinth platform onto the side panel from the top, countersinking the screws so that heads won’t be visible from underneath. Repeat on the other side.

Attaching painted side panels

The bottom and sides of your rectangular cube should be covered by the plinth and painted panels so that it looks something like this:

Stained cube encased in black on 3 sides

All that remains now is to add a few screws at the back to secure the long edge of the cube to the long edge of the plinth to enable both components to be joined together. If you don’t do this then when you come to turn it all over in order to fit the top, everything will fall apart at the seams and you wouldn’t want that, right?

RECORD CUBE - OUTER SHELL

Well, I may not be Einstein but I do have an over-active problem-solving kind of brain and love getting to grips with a good meaty conundrum like how to magically make holes disappear.

So how do you make a hole disappear? By covering it with something else of course. Or if you’re the Chancellor, by endlessly filling the bottomless pit with money.

To resolve the issue of unsightly screw heads and holes, I am simply going to encase my stained rectangular record cube in a black outer shell made of painted pineboard and here’s how.

My outer casing must look like part of the unit’s overall design and fit in with the other furniture in the room so instead of hairpin legs, the whole thing will sit on a black wooden plinth slightly inset from the bottom edge like the other units previously built.

Inset plinth

Using some sturdy 2 x 1 inch lengths of timber make a braced wooden frame slightly smaller than the dimensions of your rectangular unit.

Make a nice sturdy frame for your unit to sit on

Once filled, this vinyl record storage unit is going to weigh a ton so best to ensure the plinth is well held together. Heavy duty metal brackets have been used to join all the internal corners to keep everything from falling apart.

Heavy duty brackets to hold corners together

Sand, prime, paint with 2 coats of black furniture or multi-surface paint then finish with a couple of coats of clear furniture lacquer or varnish.

Sand then prime

Paint then varnish

Next cut 4 x outer pineboard panels for the top, bottom and sides of the outer shell. Now to add a bit of interest to the overall design, I am making the outer shell in 40 cm wide pineboard. This is 3 cm wider than my inner cube which I’m hoping will recess the inner cube nicely around the front of the unit.

Bottom and side panels

Again sand, prime and paint all panels in black as per the plinth. Give everything painted a couple of coats of clear furniture varnish or lacquer.

Paint then varnish all panels

As the next bit is the tricky part then I’m off for a nice cuppa before I begin the arduous task of trying to explain how it’s all going to come together.

RECORD CUBE - 2ND SECTION

Having got this far, the next section should be a lot easier. Breathe huge sigh of relief, no timber re-cuts or thumbs hammered in the process. Thank goodness for that!

Now where had we gotten to? Ah yes, here we are ….

Picking up where we left off

I guess it’s all a bit obvious really but part two simply involves putting the second horizontal divider on top of what has already been built. Drill countersink holes to screw timber down from the top into the vertical record dividers and also to screw in from the sides. Nice and sturdy; that could easily hold an elephant. Or me!

Add the second horizontal piece

As I am placing another row of wooden boxes on top of this horizontal divider then again, a batten has been screwed in at the back to hold everything snuggly in place.  Being lazy, I didn't bother staining the bit of shelf that wasn't going to be visible to the naked eye.

More chocks

Add the wooden boxes then you can finally complete the rectangular cube by fixing the last long top panel into position. Drill countersunk holes to screw downwards into each vertical panel.

Finally fix the top into position above next lot of boxes

All that is left to add is a small shelf to split the tall end compartment into two. Why? This is not just for the hell of it, there’s a more practical reason for this section as it will be used to contain a large case full of hefty 78’s (gramophone records) and a long box of 7” singles.

Your completed stained rectangular cube should now look something like this:

Finished inner rectangular cube

At this point, you could pretty much slap on some retro style metal hairpin legs that have become very fashionable and just leave it at that. 

Metal hairpin legs for that lovely retro touch

Unfortunately, we can’t because some of the repurposed pine planking had holes in it from its previous life and also because professional carpenters/joiners would have properly dowelled all the joints so as not to have any visible screw heads. Duh!

But never fear, I have already come up with a cunning plan to disguise our woodworking incompetence - more about that in the next post.

RECORD CUBE - 1ST SECTION

Instead of starting our vinyl storage unit from the bottom up, efforts are being channelled into making the stained rectangular cube.  This has been fashioned from an old pine bookcase. The timber was just too good to chuck out – make do and mend is what I say!  You can save a few pennies repurposing good wood.

Recycling an old pine bookcase

Begin at the outer edges and work inwards is my motto. Cut 2 x long panels for the top and bottom of your rectangular frame and 2 x side panels plus an extra side piece for the internal riser.  In total, you should have 2 long bits and 3 shorter bits.

Stain, wax then screw together at the corners to make a 3-sided frame. Don’t screw the top panel on as this will be done later once all the inner sections are added.

Remember your unit needs to be wide enough to accommodate a vinyl LP and in our case the wooden storage boxes so the base and side panels have been cut to a 37 cm width.

Now that you’ve constructed your base section, it’s time to add the interior compartments. I’ve begun by using three of the CD storage boxes to work out the length of each of the horizontal dividers. This can be done simply by placing a length of timber across the top of the boxes then carefully marking the overall length. Cut two of these long horizontal pieces.

Idiots way of working out length

To determine the position of the third vertical riser, I placed three CD boxes on top of the bottom part of the frame abutting the boxes tightly to the end panel. 

Working out position of middle vertical riser

Hold the internal vertical riser panel against the CD boxes. Carefully draw a pencil line across the base piece marking the position of the outer edge of the vertical riser. Drill countersunk holes and screw the vertical piece into position from underneath the base. You should now have something that looks like this:

Base and 3 vertical panels

Next attach divider pieces for the record storage compartments. I’ve gone for two supporting dividers but you can add as many as you wish, spacing these out evenly across the length of the timber base.   Remember these will be holding up the top compartment so there should be enough dividers to give good support.

As I don’t want a disjointed look to the overall front of the unit then I’ve aligned the dividers to the edges where two CD drawers meet. Again, drill and fix from the bottom then screws won’t be visible once placed on top of the wooden boxes.

Attach dividers to bottom horizontal piece

To assemble the first compartment, lay all 3 wooden boxes on top of the base making sure that the drawers are aligned to the front of the bottom bit of timber. As our base is wider than the boxes, a wooden batten has been fixed behind the row of boxes to prevent them sliding backwards each time a drawer is opened.

Chocking the back of the wooden boxes with a batten

Place the piece of timber with the dividers on top of the boxes. If you have measured and cut correctly, everything should fit snuggly within your rectangular frame. Drill and fix this horizontal section from each outer edge inwards. 

Voila! – the first compartment completed.

First compartment finished

RECORD MAKERS

Just when you think you’ve put all that pesky woodworking behind you, another project unexpectedly leaps up and bites you on the bum!

The other half’s got a face like thunder after I casually dropped into the conversation the fact that I’d ordered some more pineboard from work. Yep, that’s definitely a look that could curdle matt emulsion.

I can already hear them screaming at each other

Meanwhile, it’s time to get pencil, ruler and back of cereal packet out to design what I really hope will be the last lot of cabinet making ever. This time we’re making a vinyl record storage unit because when you can’t find one you like in the shops then you just have to make it yourself.

To make the most of unused bits and bobs, I’ve designed this record storage unit so that it incorporates all the old wooden CD storage boxes bought from IKEA decades ago. 

Wooden CD storage boxes

It needs to be big enough to house all those marvellous LP’s and 7 inch singles lovingly acquired from bygone record shops which I refused to get rid of when the rest of the world was ditching theirs in favour of new-fangled CD technology.

My design was cobbled together in a most unusual manner by jiggling round a pine bookshelf, the CD boxes and a small partitioned storage unit rather like completing a gigantic 3D Rubik’s cube until the right combination of components was eventually reached. Hey presto, a design is born!

This one?

Or like this?

This unit will consist of 3 parts; a sturdy plinth, a stained rectangular cube divided into sections for the CD boxes/records and a black outer casing.

I've settled for this design

All that’s needed now is the will, wood and weather to be able to get this latest odyssey off the ground.