I’m not referring to that doughnut eating duh-brained character from Springfield but to the ancient Greek poet who penned the infamous epics the Illiad and the Odyssey, both of which should only be read if every library in the world has burnt down. Tedious I kid you not!
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| Homer |
Almost as tedious as making furniture. I’m bored of this now. Bored, bored, bored. Can we do something else? The other half has that ‘I told you so’ air of smugness about him like someone who just knew politicians were in line for an above-inflationary pay award as soon as Labour got voted in or had snuck out a silent but deadly fart in a lift full of people. Whose idea was it anyway to build a vinyl storage unit? Oh bugger - it was mine.
Well, I suppose we’d best get it over with as there’s only the top and back left to do.
Having almost ruptured a kidney turning this very heavy cabinet the proper way up, I’m now in need of a lie down and half a dozen super strength horse tranquilisers. Given the current state of the health service, rupturing anything these days is like being handed a free invite to the Assisted Dying party but without the cocktails. Always make sure you adopt the proper manual handling stance and have help before attempting to lift anything the weight of a rhino.
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| Turning it the right way up |
Having turned the encased unit the right way up, it’s time to attach the top panel. If we only knew how to properly dowel joints then you'd only need to knock the top panel smartly into place but as we don’t then it’s plan B.
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| Right way up and ready for the top piece |
Plan B involves fixing the panel into place with some industrial strength adhesive – CT1, a substance that according to their sales rep could probably stick Gaza back together as it bonds pretty much any materials.
Before slathering the top side of your stained rectangular cube with a thick coating of glue, make sure that everything is cut exactly to size and will correctly align at every corner.
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| Make sure everything is aligned |
Spread a nice thick coating of adhesive on the top – imagine its chocolate spread or something tasty. Make sure you’ve got good even coverage then place the final panel on top, aligning all corners and edges as you go.
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| Top aligned to the side edge |
When everything is in the right position, clamp down firmly and leave for a few days for the adhesive to completely cure.
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| Clamp and leave adhesive to completely cure |
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