AVENUES & ALLEYWAYS

Does your front garden smell like a tramp’s urinal? Do you wrinkle your nose as you pass the petunias on the way to the front door? Banish those nasty niffs of dog walker turd bags, half eaten takeaways or next door’s bonfire with a squirt of whole driveway deodorant. Comes with a Useless Product guarantee, refills at £200 per can (excluding postage) and high toxicity warning. Clears odours effectively, kills everything else in a 3-mile radius.

Just thought I’d have a go at inventing my own un-necessary product while waiting out the midday sun in this rather unexpected heatwave.

According to the Met Office, if you have 3 or more consecutive days of temperatures above a specific threshold then it’s technically classed as a heatwave. So, using that logic does that mean if you have 3 or more consecutive days of Government bullshit is that then classed as a Shitwave? Hmmm. Yes or No?

Anyhow, we’re not here to talk politics – it’s far too hot for that. I’m here to tell you about the transformation of my side alleyway from spartan wind tunnel into verdant paradise and share tips on how this was achieved on a very shoe string budget.

When we moved our side gate forward at the end of last year, it created a rather long and spartan looking wind tunnel along the length of the house. It looked dreadfully bare and devoid of greenery but with a bit of imagination and some super scrimping, this tunnel is now a small paradise.  Here’s how you can pimp up your alleyway.

Space is always going to be at a premium in an alleyway that’s only 1.4 metres wide so it’s a case of thinking upwards rather than outwards and that’s where the power of Poundland comes in.

Never underestimate the bargains that can be had in the gardening section of Poundland where you can often find wall pots or hanging baskets at a fraction of the price than a posher garden centre. I chanced upon these grey half-moon planters for £1 each.

Poundland planters perfect for growing strawberries

Deep enough to plant a couple of strawberry plants in each or some colourful trailing basket plants.

Dot them on your walls to add colour

Simply a case of drilling a hole in the wall, these planters have a handy groove in the back that neatly slots onto a fat screw head.

Reduces the impact of ugly pipes

I’ve used wall hung planters to minimise the ugliness of the peeling asbestos waste pipes as we cannot scrape the paint off (health hazard) and replacing them is way down the list of DIY projects.

Perfect fit between two pipes

Planters and a few strategically placed pots around the gas meter box have helped to frame it better making it look less utility and more Chelsea Flower show.

Less utility, more Chelsea flower show

Use surplus timber planks, pallets or wood that can be treated with outdoor paint, stain or varnish to make long narrow planters. The other half excels at knocking these up from DIY project leftovers. 

Planters made from surplus decking planks

There are always people looking to get rid of old pallets on community groups such as Nextdoor so if you’re lucky then you may be able to bag these free of charge. Free paint can now be found at many local recycling centres or do what I do and look in B&Qs bargain bucket. It may not be your colour but it does the trick at half the price!

Planters are great for growing alleyway mangetout peas

After waterproofing your planters with a couple of coats of exterior paint make sure you line the insides with a nice bit of plastic. Super scrimper gardeners like me use empty compost bags for this. Made out of thick plastic, compost bags can be ripped apart then stapled to the inside of a planter to protect the interior and help retain moisture that might otherwise be sucked away by bare timber.

Baby peas

have become monsters

I collect all my old compost bags ready to use not just as planter liners but also to line large pots too like this lovely plastic planter I bought from a local Charity shop. My bay tree has put on loads of growth since I potted it up into its new home.

Green pot - Cancer Research Shop

And on the subject of Charity shops, these are a good place to source cheap decorative bits and bobs to brighten up your walls or fences. I managed to source this lovely garden mirror for £2 from our local Stonepillow shop, reduced price because its backing board was broken. The other half carefully removed the ripped piece of thick card replacing it with a shaped piece of plywood. Hey presto, new mirror.

Charity shop ornaments

I like to jazz up my homemade wooden planters with hearts to showcase my love of gardening. You can often pick up ornamental hearts on your charity shop travels along with bird cages, paintings, ceramic plates, etc. Pretty much anything can be turned into a garden ornament with a coat of clear exterior yacht varnish to protect it from the elements.

Decorate your planters with love

I waterproof canvas prints in this manner to turn them into outdoor art for the patio. Two coats of varnish will keep them from getting soggy or sun-bleached.

Outdoor garden art gallery

When you’re browsing round car boot fairs or charity shops, keep an eye out for unwanted towel rails as these make perfect wall pot hangers. Here’s what we did with our old kitchen towel rail and a few hanging pots from Poundland. Once it held tea towels now it’s going to become a home for more strawberry plants. Being narrow, towel rails screw easily onto the tops of fence panels.

Old towel rails make great pot hangers

Recycling centres, neighbourhood websites such as Facebook, Nextdoor or Gumtree are a good place to find unwanted plant pots or garden stuff on the cheap. Prolific gardeners always have a surplus supply of plant pots and sometimes unwanted plants too especially if they’ve grown their flowers or veg from seed.

Top tip to source cheap plants – some garden centres such as Hilliers have end of season plant sales where many specimen plants such as roses or rhododendrons are sold off to clear the shelves for new stock. Find out whether your local garden centre does this then you can acquire bigger plants for a fraction of the price.

Most garden centres and even places such as B&Q also have a clearance section where you can source plants for as little as a £1 per pot. Last year I bought about 6 pots of reduced priced cannas at £2 each from B&Q and they’re now growing like weeds in my front garden’s raised flower bed. Just because it might look half dead doesn’t mean it is.

Other good sources of cheap plants: car boot or community summer fairs, your neighbours for free cuttings or seeds. Or if you have a bit of bare faced cheek, local parks where you can harvest free seeds from dried flower heads that the council haven’t cut. The Ancient Mariner propagated loads of agapanthus plants from free seeds acquired by my brother on his way to work from parks or gardens on route. I’m not advocating wholesale vandalism here but you can to a degree be a bit creative as to sourcing plants.

I hope this post has inspired you all to look at your back passage in a new light. Often forgotten, overlooked or unloved, an alleyway does have the potential to be turned into a small piece of paradise without breaking the bank.