Just take a look at this. A giant sinkhole has opened up in the butter tub.
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| Ugh! Now there's potholes in the marg |
I don’t imagine for one minute that this happened all by itself. The spread-drilling fairies did not creep into the kitchen overnight looking for a margarine well to exploit even though this might have proved quite lucrative given the sudden surge in oil prices due to war in the Middle East.
SOMEONE (and I know who because it wasn’t me and only two of us live here) decided to excavate a saturated fat super-pit, a creamy crater in the middle of the marg. It’s enough to curdle the milk of human kindness, that’s what it is! A buttery blight on the horizon.
F***s sake! Would it really be too much to ask for people to just smooth a knife over the surface without disturbing the fabric of reality? We don’t need dents in the dairy or ripples in the PURE pond.
Spread the blade nice and evenly. Almost regally. Like a royal wave in the back of a gilded carriage or armoured range rover. Should be a barely perceptible movement. There. Like that. Smoooooooth.
What to do about this aberration? To create an almighty fuss over what might be perceived as ‘nothing’ or to continue to butter my crumpets as if everything’s fine and dandy? Well, what would you do in my position?
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