WOOD PANELS - SECOND SECTION

With fruit cake coated in marzipan and waiting to be iced, it’s time to panel again. After all, why have one job on the go when you can juggle 2, 3 or 4 balls at the same time! I tried juggling once. Needless to say, I had about as much hand-eye co-ordination as an epileptic octopus which pretty much rules out a travelling circus career so I guess I’ll have to stick to cakes, crafting or blogging.

The second part of our wood panelling project involves turning a corner. Not something the current Government can claim to have achieved since they came to power, maybe we’ll be luckier.

Ha - not one wall area but two to be done

Applying the same methodology as previously but this time working across 2 wall spaces. Wow! Yep, not one but two walls simultaneously. Good skills as the kids would say.

Due to the fiddly nature of this next part of the project, I’ve girded my loins, said a few prayers and put on my lucky pants.

Starting at the bottom, take both horizontal pieces and hold them in place with one section slightly overlapping the other to form an external corner.

Dry fit the two bottom horizontal pieces

The corner should be perfectly aligned at the join, all edges nice and flat. No sticky out bits. Glue into place then leave to dry for about 20-30 minutes.

Align all corner edges

Next add all the verticals, working from the outside to the corner edge. I’ve overlapped the two middle vertical pieces to match the corner exactly of the bottom horizontal bits. Again, glue then off for a cuppa.

Add verticals from outside to corner

Finally add the top bars, again creating that external corner.

Add the top horizontal bars

Well, that went better than expected. No corner crisis in sight so I can now add the panel mouldings then caulk/sand/prime everything before giving the plumber a buzz as the corridor radiator needs removing before the next section can be worked on.

Fit panel mouldings to inner edge of panel squares

Two coats of primer

WOOD PANELS - FIRST SECTION

Starting our panel project with what I feel are going to be the easiest sections, those around the bathroom door all of which are largely big rectangles.

First wall section to panel

With pre-cut MDF pieces quick progress can be made in putting up these sections.

Begin by dry fitting. Place your horizontal/vertical pieces into position against the wall to double check measurements and get a feel for what your panel squares will look like.

If there are no alterations needed then the next step is fix them permanently to the wall otherwise nip, tuck, sand as required. As our walls are relatively flat having been plastered only recently then I’m moving straight onto adhesives. Guns out, CT1 to the ready! This stuff really does stick anything to any surface.

Bottoms up! Start by sticking the lower most horizontal piece above the skirting followed by each side vertical and lastly the top horizontal bar. 

Start from the bottom and work upwards

Add verticals to each end

Finally add the top horizontal bit

Press each bit firmly into place for around 5-10 minutes to give the CT1 a chance to bond. With a nice flat wall there should be no unsightly gaps. Use panel pins to secure if adhesive isn’t enough to keep it in place. Leave to dry.

Now originally, I primed each piece individually before sticking to the wall but that seemed like an almighty time consuming faff so from now on, I’m priming in situ.

OMG!  This is taking forever...

Once everything has dried solidly, time to add the panel mouldings to the inside edge of the central square. I’m using a 9 mm barrel moulding – the same thickness as my MDF so that it doesn’t stick out.

Panel mouldings typically come in lengths that are 2.4 metres long.  To work out how many lengths of moulding you'll need for your panel inserts, add up all the linear measurements of each square to arrive at a total length then divide by 2.4.  Remember to include a bit extra to allow for mitred cuts.  I usually round everything up as my thinking is that more is better than not enough.

Available from Covers Builders Merchants, Chichester

Small but perfectly formed

You’re using this moulding to essentially create a picture frame that sits inside your panel square. To do this, a mitre box is needed as all corners will need cutting at an angle to form a nice tidy joint.

Use a mitre box for perfect corner joints

Cut the moulding to the required measurement then mitre each end. Finely sand any ragged edges then dry fit into position. Repeat until you have four panel strips to form your frame. When you are satisfied that each strip fits neatly into position, glue into place. Leave to dry.

Dry fit then stick into place

Next. Inspect your handiwork closely and fill any hairline gaps with decorator’s caulk. Leave to dry for a few hours or overnight then sand caulked joints or any uneven areas with fine grit sandpaper.

Ready to prime

Once everything is as soft as a baby’s bottom, apply 2 coats of primer to wall and wood. I’ve used some leftover Zinsser BIN 1-2-3 for this applied with a small gloss sponge roller and brush.

Looking good so far

Stand back for visual assessment. Does anything look wonky or in need of TLC other than you that is? Nope. Great! 

Well, that’s the first bit done. And now dear readers, I’m swapping pine bead for pinny as it’s time to head to the kitchen to throw together the family fruit cake for Crimbo.  OMG - only 2 weeks to go!

WOOD PANEL PLANNING

‘Can’t we cheat and buy one of those off-the-shelf panelling kits?’ moans the other half at the thought that my latest and greatest home improvement idea might involve the dreaded ‘C’ word.

Panel kits?  Not at those prices

‘C’ for cutting or carpentry – either way, he hates it almost as much as he hates people walking down a street clutching a cup of coffee or wearing overly large cans (headphones) both of which have him spitting feathers in seconds. ‘Bloody morons should learn to live in the real world’ he’d shout out if he could but in today’s permanently outraged, wokey, cancelled-at-the-drop-of-a-hat society, best you can do is stick on a poker face and say nothing.

Don’t you worry your pretty little head, darling. Minimal cutting required. Off you pop and play with your racing cars. I’ll call you when you’re needed. Men!!!

The beauty of working part-time is you can devote an entire afternoon to simply measuring up walls because as I’ve discovered with these panelling projects, it’s all down to accurately working out what sizes to cut your timber.

To this end, I’ve broken the corridor down into 7 separate sections; one for each panel square to be constructed. From an aerial view, the area we’re working on looks something like this – one long straight run, three sections round the kinky bit, two surrounding the toilet door and a final bit leading to the understairs cupboard.

Two of the various sections to panel

Bugger! Each section consists of completely different sizes; no two areas are alike. I like symmetry for this type of job but unless you create each section with verticals of different widths then it’s not going to be possible to make identical rectangles or squares. I’m just going to have to live with the fact that no two panelled areas are going to look the same. OK I can live with that (just).

The long straight radiator wall

To keep things simple, panels will be fashioned from 9mm thick MDF and sit on top of the existing skirting board. Using similar measurements to the panelled section we made in our bedroom, all horizontals will be 14 cm wide and all verticals 12 cm wide.  A picture moulding will be used inside each frame and a dado rail to cap the top of each panel section.

Decide on the height of your panels.  Most people go with a third of the total wall height but really this is a matter of personal choice.  Whatever height you choose, ensure that this is in keeping with the overall proportions of the wall and panelling style.

Shaker style panels look better as tall, slim segments whereas for  Victorian/Edwardian styles I would use larger square or rectangular segments.

Draw a pencil line on the wall to mark the height of the panels (less dado rail).  To determine the height of each vertical piece, deduct both the widths (2 x 14 cm) from the total height.  

Example:  My panels are 94 cm total height.  94 cm less 28 cm = 66 cms.  Each vertical piece will measure 66 cms long x 12 cm wide.  

Your horizontal panel pieces will be the linear measurement of each individual section being panelled x 14 cm wide. 

Remember – measure twice, cut once. The all-important mantra of any home improvement project.

Now that I’ve got my MDF shopping list scribbled onto the bag of my cereal packet, I’m off to chat up the chaps in the timber mill once more.

TOILET FINITO

Snow. Yay!

Let it snow

A touch of the white stuff is the perfect excuse for slacking off DIY or anything else. Schools out. Cancel those trains. Call out the gritters. Everything grinds to a halt if so much as a flake falls. Although quite a few large flakes fell across the rooftops of Chi recently, the flurry lasted almost as long as a wine gum.

As the only way to keep warm is to continually move about (heating’s for the rich) then it’s back to El Boggo for what I hope may be the very very last time.

With the templated pine-board primped to an inch of its life, time for the moment of truth. And breathe. It now sits proudly on top of the back-to-wall loo unit, fabulously covering all our bodged handiwork as I hoped it would.

Painted panel fits perfectly across all units

Stand back to admire the end result. Definitely passes the ‘Fusspot’ Test. All units brought together in perfect harmony with a piece of painted pine. Who’d have thought it!

Almost looks like one whole ready-made unit

Plenty of space for all that toilet themed reading material, knick-knacks and the regulation potted plant beloved of interior designers showing off room layouts.

Add finishing touches

I guess it’s time to show off my poopy palace in case anyone out there wants to copy the idea for themselves. After all, the best ideas are those you’ve nicked or should I say ‘borrowed’ from elsewhere.

Anyway, if you did fancy a toilet like this one then here’s how to pull it all together. On the left-hand wall, there’s a vintage wooden mirror rescued from a charity shop for a second life in our heavenly haven. I toyed with the idea of a large circular mirror as these appear all the rage in bathrooms of today but felt that the lovely geometric design of this old boy would fit in better.

Given a second lease of life

Keeping to that geometric theme, a couple of gold metal hexagonal shelves fixed to the wall space next to the mirror. I think these shelves co-ordinate well with the gold shapes on the wallpaper. You can find similar ones on Ebay or Amazon for less than £15, in different colours too. Not suitable for very heavy objects as the frames are quite flimsy but you could use it to display a small potted plant.

Gold metal wall shelves

Gold coloured vintage style light-pull handle purchased from Ebay. Nice and solid to hold. Goes well with the other gold-coloured fixtures.

I like the solid feel of this light pull

Splash out on a few special items for a touch of decadence such as these wonderful swan loo accessories I bought in a sale from Anthropologie. They were the closest things to flying cranes I could source but look fabulous on the wall.

Anthropologie Swan towel holder

The only thing that’s a pain, is the toilet roll holder which does stick out quite a way from the wall and thus has a tendency to catch on your arm as you sit on the throne. Would have been a better design with the bar positioned closer to the wall.

Sticks out way too far from the wall

On the right-hand wall, a couple of framed Metropolis posters. You could probably also get away with some nice oriental themed artwork to go with the flying crane wallpaper design or some Japanese style bamboo wall fans. Be as creative as you like with your wall space, you don’t have to follow the herd.

Metropolis

And so, after almost 12 months in the making, I now declare this downstairs loo totally and utterly finished!

Finally finished