WHO? WHAT? WHERE?

Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve been the laziest blogger in town but the truth is the past 18 months have whizzed by in the blink of an eye, a sure sign of getting old so I’m told.

I’d like to think I’d done something useful with my extended blog holiday like saving the planet, finding a cure for cancer or learning how to speak Swahili.  However, my self-imposed cyber detox was just a case of real life happening – too busy being in the moment rather than living vicariously online posting photos of breakfasts, cats or outfits clearly not made for overweight, middle-aged ladies with wobbly bottoms.  By the way, here’s a picture of my breakfast in case you missed it!

Just like Golden Nuggets

So now that I’ve made that gigantic leap out of my PJs and onto the keyboard, what now?  At the moment I’m doing a Led Zeppelin and buying a stairway to heaven.  Well not exactly buying it, more like re-modelling the old one with a cunning plan to turn it from a nondescript suburban monstrosity into a model of elegance and refinement with a bit of stain, varnish and lots of elbow grease.

Two days into my project and I’ve begun to realise that a staircase transformation is going to take as long as Brexit.  I ripped up the old carpet expecting to find the previous owners had painted everything white but surprisingly, the treads are untouched and in pretty good condition.  Great!  A good bit of sanding should bring out the lovely grain in what I’m guessing is the original wood.

Stairs before sanding

Treads before sanding

And now for some stripping! Ensure front door is locked, curtains drawn and ansaphone is on before flinging caution to the wind and baring all.  Just kidding!  For those that wish to strip wood in the nud then good luck to you but as my wood stripping method of choice involves using Nitromors then I’m keeping my kecks firmly on.

Heat gun or chemical strippers?  Whatever floats your boat or in this case, leaves it paint free.  There are pros and cons to both but I guess I just like the sadistic melting effect that Nitromors produces on painted woodwork.  Accidentally drop it on your skin and it burns like acid which is why it’s so effective on even the most stubborn areas.  Brush it on then one cup of tea later, hey presto!  Lovely bubbly paint for you to scrape off.  What could be easier?

Nitromors - use with care

Actually let’s face it, stripping paint off wood is not easy or for the faint hearted.  Don’t do this at home unless you finish what you started.  Half stripped wood is like a cold kebab, unappealing in the cold light of morning unless you’re hungover.

Can I have a go?

SNAGGING LISTS

I’m sure tradespeople must hate OCD clients like me who insist on micro-managing their projects by leaving daily post-its and snagging lists filled with detailed instructions that then largely get ignored. In their shoes I’d be screwing up that note and flicking it behind the kick-boards, treating it with the same feeling of contempt generally reserved for punters who insist on chomping their way through a bag of Walkers during a performance of Shakespeare or other theatrical piece. (Food should not be allowed in auditoriums!!!)

Snagging and other lists, however, are a vital part of my existence and now that our project is coming to a close then it’s only fair I should expect perfection in even the smallest detail hence the daily list left on the worktop each morning for our builder’s perusal. (He must think I’m bonkers).

With only a day to go before our project ends, the kitchen has already more than exceeded my wildest expectations and this is all thanks to our marvellous (and extremely patient) builders. They plucked our dreams and schemes out of thin air then magically shaped them into this wonderful room. It’s amazing!

Almost finished and already looking amazing

The room looks longer and wider than before

Just look at the way they’ve cleverly disguised all those awful pipes around the gas boiler, converting an ugly looking corner into a more stylish, visibly pleasing area.

The 'undressed' boiler corner

Same corner after a makeover

And with a bit of coir matting edged in chrome, the untiled floor space in front of the new French doors has been given a new lease of life without the need to find matching tiles.

Coir matting to disguise missing floor tiles

Polished chrome sockets, gunmetal trims and the jade metro tiles have helped to give the kitchen a slightly retro feel but with a modern twist.

Hob area with lovely retro feel

A large vintage style clock and some industrial style hanging lights will complete the picture. I’m already on the look-out for these which means plenty of visits to my favourite store – TKMaxx.

Left hand side of the kitchen

Right hand side of the kitchen

Strangely feeling a sense of disappointment thinking about coming home from work next week but having no more kitchen ‘surprises’ to look forward to. Yet, at the same time, there’s an immense sense of relief at the thought of moving all the clutter out of the dining room back into the kitchen and getting life back on a culinary track. To celebrate, a tasty weekend meal is planned along with some of our home grown veggies.

Carrots have gone mad this year

Fat and round on the outside

But short and stubby on the inside

WHEN LAWNS GO ROGUE

Attention! This is an important announcement. Our sources have reported rogue lawns in the Charminster area. Be alert!

With all focus being given to household interiors it was only a matter of time before the garden exterior got totally out of hand. This is not a wild meadow, it’s our lawn gone rogue. 

 

I think we need a goat

Knee high grasses and dandelions abound in place of a smooth, manicured patch of greenery. Shelby approves but I’m sure even the local coppers circling Charminster’s skies in the police helicopter have issued a bulletin on the unkempt state of our back garden. It’s a gardening disgrace!

It's a jungle out there

Hard-core mowing and picking stones out of the decking has been our weekend task in a desperate bid to get our garden looking respectable again. I can now find my way to the rotary dryer without a machete.

Ahhh - much better!

Lawn and order restored

Back in the kitchen, things are looking fabulous. Carcasses are now firmly in place on the left hand wall, with doors fitted. Only shelves and handles are outstanding on all the units.

All units fitted along left hand wall

Nice big larder in the corner

Work has begun to box in the boiler and unsightly gas pipes that run along the corner wall. A cleverly constructed unit with a removable lid will be built under the boiler itself to give access to pipes for servicing. Once painted and tiled, I’m hoping this will just look like a shaped part of the wall.

Boxing up the boiler

So by the time I get home tomorrow, I expect Project Nouvelle Cuisine to be at the point of ‘snagging’ and this is usually where projects can disintegrate into chaos as customer expectations of a finished room tend to differ from that of builders/tradesmen. Being at work all day long makes it difficult for me to check with the builders that all those niggly little things that will no doubt bug me for years have been dealt with before they charge off to their next job. Many of you out there will agree that getting tradesmen back to complete remedial work is almost as tough as getting a refund out of the taxman.

Almost finished

CREATIVE SOLUTIONS

Necessity is the mother of invention and it seems our builders have found a few creative solutions to get round the hob horrors of yesterday. 

 

Plugging the gap with a handy shelf behind the hob

A small tiled shelf has been built to plug the gap between the end of the worktop and the back wall. Genius idea! This shelf will definitely come in handy for all those bottles of olive oil and other condiments used when cooking and is a great way to fill a hole but in a functional fashion.

Disguising the extractor canopy

To disguise the protruding extractor canopy, a wooden frame has been constructed around the extractor opening. Once painted in minty green, it will help detract the eye from what might have been a bit of an extractor eyesore. I’m keen to see the final finish with the canopy in place just to see how well disguised it will be.

Cooking facilities connected

Now that the oven has been fitted you can begin to see how much more effectively the space in the old fireplace has been used, both the recessed gap and the area in front of the side pillars. It also heralds the end of microwave dinners – about time too!

Fireplace and recesses before 

Making better use of the available space

As the second week of phase 2 draws to an end, it’s a race against time to finish the remaining work. I can’t imagine the builders will want to run into a third week but then again you can never tell with these large jobs exactly how long they’ll take.

It's all too much for a little puss like me