GOING POTTY

Where do all those tester paint pots go? You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones whose contents you’ve splodged across that dog-eared sheet of A4 paper now sellotaped lopsidedly to a wall. Surely there must be some kind of Dulux mecca they all gravitate to after they’ve fulfilled their purpose in life?

I'm sure they all look the same?

A small pyramid of pots has materialised on the mantelpiece to help us select the best candidate for that all important job of colouring the kitchen. Far more interesting than all that political guff coming through the letterbox, at least paint delivers exactly what it says on the tin. Picking paint to match our mini metro jade coloured tiles has proved a bit of a challenge in itself. Ten tester pots later and still no ‘x’ in the box. Yep, probably easier to choose a new prime minister albeit one that won’t be called Mint Macaroon or Cool Agave.

What do I do with the tester pots now?

Somebody, somewhere actually has the job of thinking up paint names. Wouldn’t it be cool to grandly announce that Dulux’s new range of emulsion is to be called Pantyhose Pink or Silver Slugtrail? Bet it must be quite tough thinking of the right kind of adjectives to sum up the perfect shade of whatever in only 2 words but I guess, it’s all in the name in the paint world. Let’s take a look at some of the testers we bought – Mint Macaroon (some kind of turquoise), Duck Egg (bluey-grey sludge), Cool Agave (barely a hint of green), Peaceful (looks like green to me) and Escape (definitely pavement grey). Yeah I have to admit, it takes a special kind of someone to think these up.

Soft Fauna 4 to match our jade metro tiles

Finally after much squinting at the dog-eared A4 tester sheets at different times of the day I’ve plumped for Soft Fauna 4, a kind of turquoise-green with a hint of peacefulness and macaroon like qualities that might look good on a duck egg.