WALLPAPER DONE

The whiteness is dazzling!  Walking through the front door is now like entering an igloo albeit a two storey one.  

Before

After

Gone is the tropical tango orange of our Moroccan casbah, banished beneath a layer of Superfresco. 

Upstairs hallway - before

After

It’s a little too clinical for my liking but I’m sure it’ll feel a lot more inviting once the paper has been painted a nice mellow shade of Nutmeg White.

Upstairs corridor - before

After

SNEAKY PEAK WALLPAPER

Like a rat up a drainpipe I whipped out my camera quicker than you can say ‘anaglypta’ the minute the tradesman was out the front door in order to give you all a sneaky peak after day 1 of wallpapering.

Looks fabulous!

It’s so exciting!  I’m not going to say anything much in case I jinx things but so far, the man done good.  Aside from a few air bubbles and small sections of pattern that could have been better aligned (picky, picky, picky OCD person), I’m sure you’ll agree the walls now look amazing.

Longest drop hung first on the staircase

 

Radiating back up the stairs from the first piece

 

Pattern matched and trimmed round all doors

Back to work tomorrow.  It’ll all be finished by the time I get home, looking fabulous and ready for us to begin work on the dado rail.  

DADO DISASTER

As luck would have it, my earlier dado rail bargain has turned into a bit of a dud which is what happens when you’re seduced by the yellow ticket siren as opposed to applying practical common sense to timber purchases.  Duh!

Unfortunately, the dado rails I bought are not deep enough to sit flush on the top rail of our wood panels.  This is not something that can be easily remedied without packing the back of the dado rail with thinner slivers of MDF, totally time consuming and a complete bodge.  Don’t try this at home!

Doctor Google has come up with a potential cure for my uselessness in the form of a large rebated wooden bead.  The rebate of 13mm will cover the top edge of our 12 mm panel and the slight overhang may also help disguise unevenness. 

Rebated wooden bead

Bead samples were obtained from the Victorian Emporium, a website dedicated to the renovation of period properties mostly Victorian.  Although wood samples were not free, it is worth splashing out for them so that you can try before you buy.  If I’d only done this months ago, I could have saved myself £28 and not be lumbered with useless timber now cluttering up my dining room.

Rebated edge sits better on top of panels

And as you can see from the above photo, the rebated edge on the wood sample allows the dado rail to sit snugly across the wood panel giving it a nice overlapping finish at the front.

ANOTHER DIGRESSION ...

Life would be boring if we did everything in strict order or by a set formula and so our hallway refurbishment is taking a different track on the DIY rollercoaster as it’s time for a spot of wallpapering.

Wallpapering, like tartan, has been in and out of fashion over the past few decades.  I regret having parted with my red and black Bay City Roller ‘trews’.  Squeezing my cellulite fat-berg thighs into a pair would require more than a deep breath and a shoe horn as the years have not been kind in that respect but I guess I’ll just have to make do with wallpaper instead.  So its bye bye baby, baby goodbye to our tango orange walls and hello Superfresco. 

Bay City Rollers - the tartan troopers

I’ve chosen a geometric fan design reminiscent of the sunburst motif popularly associated with Art Deco.  (Purchased online from Graham & Brown)  

Geometric fan design wallpaper

This tough durable paper will be hung on the walls above the wall panels, adding texture to the otherwise vast expanses of bland plastered wall that make up our hallways.  Other than toughness, the advantage of this type of wallpaper is that it can be repainted which is handy if you decide to change colour schemes after a few years. 

Paintable, durable and easy to hang 

Make sure you have the right paste for your paper

I’ve lined up a tradesperson to hang our paper as I don’t trust myself up a ladder with a length of soggy Superfresco especially on the longer staircase walls.  Life would not be worth living with visible joins or air bubbles greeting you after a hard day at work so yet again, it’s time to raid the savings account and call in the professionals.  

At £400 for 2 days work, wallpapering is not cheap and obviously a skill well worth developing to keep costs down on a DIY project.  

Hallway before wallpaper

COW WHISPERING

Whilst everyone’s busy making resolutions for a smoke free, drink free or fitter year, I’ve decided to fill my free Wednesday afternoons with a spot of cow whispering. Here's my tips on how to take up this exciting new hobby:

First, drive out to the countryside and find yourself some cows.

There's a herd I could join

They look like a friendly bunch

Then put yourself in their hooves and try to integrate into the herd.  Walk like they walk, moo loudly (only if no-one else is about) and generally think ‘bovine’. 

Think 'bovine' and follow the herd

Eventually, the herd will think you’ve gone nuts and try to ignore you.  At this point, quietly creep close to one that’s too busy munching and attempt a whisper.  Keep it neutral – no politics or religion in case it gets spooked.

Pssst!  Have you got a minute?

Worst case scenario, the cow will probably ‘moove’ on, hoping you’ll get stuck in a cow pat and stop making a nuisance of yourself or it may decide to give you the Bad Toro treatment.  Never turn your back on a cow.  Not only is this the height of bad manners but you won’t be able to see it charging at you.  Too close for comfort?  A bit of loud flamenco dance hand clapping should do the trick.

Bad Toro says no to whispering

Perhaps I should just stick to knitting ….