MORE COVING

Please sir, can I have some more coving?  This time it’s the turn of daughter’s bedroom and the upstairs bathroom to be given the royal coving treatment as these rooms are next on the world’s greatest DIY list.  

It's not a cave, it's the daughter's bedroom

Upstairs bathroom - it's gotta go

I’ve picked a plasterer out of our local newspaper, the Bournemouth Echo, to do the honours as I haven’t the time to post a job on MyBuilder.com and I didn’t really like the visible joins left on the hallway coving by the last guy. 

Same principles apply though, always check the credentials (Checkatrade) of your chosen tradesperson and any reviews posted online about their workmanship as it’s hard to say ‘no’ once they’ve turned up to give you a quote.  Expect to pay something in the region of about £200 for a day’s coving work including materials. 

And now a word about wallpaper in respect of the above – remember to ask your tradesperson what experience they have had in hanging the type of wallpaper you have. 

Now the reason I say this has become more apparent since I started painting our wallpaper and noticed little things such as overlapping or open joins, ragged edges that didn’t look cut with scissors, unmatched patterns and strange ‘patching’ applied in places.  By patching I mean that a ‘patch’ of paper has been cut out and stuck in position at the end of a strip for no reason other than the person probably couldn’t be bothered to measure out a new length of paper.  Considering we had 9 rolls left over due to my over-estimating of quantities required, there really were no excuses for not using a fresh length of paper each time.  Needless to say, that company won’t be getting any further calls from me for wallpapering.  I won’t name and shame them here, but if you really want to know who they are then email me privately.

Now you see it, now you don't

Nutmeg white - first coat upstairs

It's a long hard slog painting patterned wallpaper

All in all, it’s a case of keep calm and carry on painting.  The paper’s up and there’s nothing I can do about it now is there?

Jasmine White - first coat on staircase spindles

Shelby is most bemused at having been woken from her wintry beauty sleep to be moved into my son’s old bedroom whilst we clear out the dusty boxes of hoarded clutter so that the plasterer can access the ceiling. 

Tortoise Travelodge

I need my beauty sleep

OSCAR WILDE'S FAN CLUB

“We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars”.   I’ve taken a half day off work to revel in the theatrical delights of Lady Windermere’s Fan, being broadcast live as part of a celebration of Oscar Wilde’s plays of which I am a great admirer.  It feels so naughty, like bunking off school especially as we’re already a bit short staffed in the office due to the Easter holidays. 

Ah if only my uncultured colleagues had heard for themselves those delicious Wilde witticisms coined by arguably one of the best poets and playwrights of Victorian times then they too would be stampeding for the exit.  But raised on a diet of Love Island and TOWIE, I imagine Oscar Wilde is as familiar to them as the Housewives of Cheshire are to me. Who? Exactly!

"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken"

MORE SNOW

I’m replacing the hall carpet with copies of The Times as it’s cheaper than shag pile and you get regular news updates on the way to the lounge.

Preparing to paint the wallpaper

This week’s tabloids are full of ‘spies r us’ reports or rather spies and Russia since the attempted poisoning of ex-double agent Sergei Skripal and his daughter.  Salisbury is now top of Secret Escapes’ ideal holiday locations for former spies.  I read with interest that Theresa May has threatened to cyberattack Russia.  Will that involve bombarding their mailboxes with countless adverts for Foxy Bingo, recipes for Yorkshire pudding and video clips of Britain’s Got Talent? Definitely the most effective way to pummel Russia into submission!

Woke up this morning and what a surprise

Whilst the politicos and Ruskies hammer it out in the press, more snow has fallen.  Not as much as last time but still enough to make one dread the oppressive gloom of urban winter that always appears when it should be spring.

The oppressive gloom of urban winter

My poor little olive - snowed on again!

There’s nothing like a spot of painting to banish those winter blues.  

Bring on the Nutmeg White

Downstairs hallway gets the Dulux treatment

Nutmeg White - a slightly pinkish beige shade of white

Put on some cheery tunes, crack out the emulsion roller and bish, bash, bosh – I always feel so much better after a bit of Dulux.  

Keep fit with Dulux

Our beige palace

LET THEM EAT CAKE

In defiance of the Government’s anti-Fatist state and my gallstones, I’ve decided to host a protest Mother’s Day afternoon tea.  I’ve chosen all my favourite treats before they become outlawed:  smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches, coconut macaroons, Battenburg cake and chocolate mini eggs.  No doubt all of the above are probably on a list that’s being drawn up by an over-sized, over-paid Government lackey as items not to be consumed by those with a BMI higher than the limit imposed on diesel emissions.  Well I’d rather chain myself to the railings outside No 10 than give up jammy dodgers!

Sugery snacks - soon to be worse than smoking

I think it’s only fair to indulge myself tomorrow as I’ve burnt off a zillion calories today putting the first coat of paint on the dado rail and stair spindles so cake is definitely on the menu. 

What a difference some paint makes

Painting the dado rail

One coat of paint and already the spindles are looking incredible, all the old chips and scuffs gone in the swirl of a brush.  I’ve used Dulux quick dry satinwood paint in Jasmine White as I’m not a lover of ultra-shiny gloss paint, preferring a mid sheen finish instead.  This paint goes on quickly, easily and is far less smelly than gloss albeit not cheap at £18.50 for only a small 750 ml tin. I think it's also a less clinical colour than brilliant white.

Jasmine White - Dulux Quick Dry Satinwood paint

The contrast between the dark stained handrail and the spindles is lovely and will look super smart once the second coats of both paint and varnish have been applied.  

Looking good after only 1 coat

MUSH

The beauty of snow is short lived and in the Southerly coastal regions we live in, it’s not long before the diamond white quilt of snowflakes covering our neighbourhood has dissolved into a dirty, slush puppy-like grey mush.  Three days on and the beast from the East has been transformed into the pussy from the past.  Snow?  Been there, thawed out, moved on.

Snow today, gone tomorrow

Daughter has gone off on a skiing holiday.  I told her it would be cheaper to take a tea tray to the local golf course which had as much snow on its hills as France but she wasn’t having any of it.  So whilst she’s off on the piste with her mates, we used our snow enforced weekend curfew to tick off a few more items from our DIY snag list. 

First up - sanding down the banisters.  If you have the cash and the inclination you can arrange for your staircase to be completely dismantled and sent off for dipping and stripping which is probably the quickest, most hassle-free way to get the everything back down to bare wood ready for staining.  However, as we are just freshening up the existing paintwork then a bit of sanding down should be fine.

Sanding old fashioned wooden spindles is a fiddly, messy and time consuming process so we’ve split this into a 2 section job; the upper banisters and the staircase run.  Don’t tackle your spindles all at once as you’ll soon get bored or go barmy.  Divide and conquer is the best way forward.  Whilst old fashioned spindles give a staircase character, getting into all those nooks and crannies is almost impossible with a conventional sander and even the small mousey ones struggle to get into all the grooves.   

Lovely but fiddly to sand

  

To get round this issue, we’re using packs of sanding sponges from In-Excess (£1 for 8 pads).  About the size of an average scourer, these sanding pads come in different grades/grits ranging from course to fine and fit snuggly into a small girlie hand like mine giving flexibility and control over the surface being rubbed down.  Handy to use and definitely less of a faff than folding up bits of sanding paper. 

Sanding pads/sponges - InExcess

Flexible so you can get into all those grooves

After a good rubbing, the other half looked like Buddha in a sandstorm.  Keep bedroom doors closed as everything gets caked in powdery dust and will need a wash down afterwards.

Has it snowed indoors?

Sanding completed, time to fit the second chandelier to the upstairs hallway.  At this point, I’d decided to go and spring clean the bathroom to save my ears from the barrage of blasphemy pouring forth from the other half who unlike Buddha was not on the road to electrical enlightenment.  

Chandelier no 2 ready to fit

It was all worth it in the end as like the first one fitted downstairs, the lamp does look stunning now that it’s up and working.  

Upstairs hallway

Perfect for our Deco look hallway

THE WHITE STUFF

Beware the ice of March.  Not something Julius Caesar had to bother with as there was probably little chance of snow in Rome back then but nevertheless, a misquoted warning not to be taken lightly.

Today’s a ‘Snow Day’, the grown up equivalent of a school closure due to inclement weather (teachers fearing litigation day).  It’s a day spent in PJs snacking on salt and vinegar crisps (according to the media - crisps can kill you, rot your teeth or something bad happens after a packet of Walkers; I forget which one).  Playing outside in the snow is not on my agenda as I can see icicles from where I type.  Surely this means I should crawl back into bed with a good book and forget I couldn’t make it into work today due to no buses?

6.30 am - view from bedroom

Icicles on the window frame

A few hours snuggled under my cosy duck down duvet should help me forget the epic 5 hour adventure of getting home from work last night.  Three hours stuck on a bus from Poole that resembled a public transport cork wedged solidly in a bottleneck of stationary traffic across the Poobo conurbation.  Hats off to our bus driver who kept his cool and a chirpy outlook in spite of the screaming child, whinging passengers and icy roads.

After the second hour parked up in a queue of traffic a mile long, it was clear nobody was going home anytime soon.  In the end, impatience won out so I got off the bus and trudged home through the icy mush from the LV roundabout back to Charminster, stopping for a toilet break and neat Southern Comfort on the way.  Luckily I’d thought to put on full thermal long johns under my office attire otherwise I might have sacrificed both legs to frostbite.  Brrrr!

Getting home last night

And so as the world grinds to a halt under a blizzardy coating of the white stuff, I’ve got a date with Netflix and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps.

McTwitters - closed due to adverse weather

Alfresco dining at the Snowy Cafe

Back garden thick with the white stuff

My poor little olive tree