Ah
those naughty chimps in the Town Hall basement have been at it again!
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| Bournemouth Road Improvements Team |
They’ve
been using their computer modelling (Super Mario Karts) to come up with their
latest highway ‘improvement’ for Winton’s Cardigan Road by sticking in a cycle
lane that forces two wheeled traffic into oncoming cars up a one way street.
You’ve
got to hand it to Bournemouth Council, this is a masterful and legitimate way
of ridding the town of nuisance cyclists namely by getting drivers to run them
over. No, seriously who in their right
mind would put a cycle lane going the wrong way on one of Winton’s busiest
junctions?
Motorists
approaching the Cardigan Road junction already have their attention divided by
two things - zombie pedestrians wandering across the road whilst plugged into
their iphones/ipods completely unaware of turning traffic and the pelican
crossing in constant use outside Lidl.
Now a third hazard presents itself, cyclists potentially in your blind
spot as you turn right into Cardigan Road. Yes you heard correct - cyclists in a place where least expected. Get
your dash cam footage ready to send to Car Crash TV folks as this junction’s
going to be a hoot!
Clearly
as chimps don’t drive they have little idea of how this arrangement is just not
going to work. Their poor command of
English means they can’t comprehend that ‘one way’ means one direction only and
that includes all road users, two wheels or four. One way streets are specifically designed to
facilitate the flow of traffic particularly in narrow roads contrary to what the Government thinks.
It
would have been good if the chimps had carried out a cost benefit analysis to
see whether the return on the investment would be worth the extra hassle to
motorists, the increased congestion on the High Street plus the extra danger to
cyclists but I guess their maths is not up to scratch and they probably don’t
know one end of a spreadsheet from another.
Funnily, the initials for cost benefit analysis (CBA) are also street
slang for ‘can’t be arsed’ which I dare say is why the chimps didn’t bother as
they may have been confused.
It
is only a matter of time before the Cardigan unravels and someone gets
seriously hurt. Lord save us from the meddling Highway Chimps – just leave the town’s roads alone!!
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