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| Don't pack the pantry, just eat it all beforehand |
I’ve made it my mission in life to eat my way through house and home as it’s the only effective means to deal with the problem of packing the pantry. Food or other edible substances cannot be placed into a storage unit so there’s no other choice but to bake for Britain.
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| Bournemouth Bake Off |
Since our house sale was agreed about 5 weeks ago, we’ve munched our way solidly through a catalogue of cakes like a pair of box tree caterpillars strafing through a hedge. Mmmm white chocolate cheesecake. Mmmm treacle cookies. Mmmm banana bread. Every day it’s a different recipe. By the time we’ve cleared the contents of the pantry, I’ll need a hydraulic crane to hoist me out of bed every morning. When the Fat Tax comes, no off-shore bank account is going to save you – lard ass! Visitors – remember to bring your PPE and a hearty appetite when you pop round. Doggy bags will be provided!
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| Chocolate crackle tops |
Fingers crossed, it’s safe to say that we are probably half way through the selling process. Draft contracts have been prepared, buyer enquiries answered and most of our personal possessions have gone into storage. We’re now in that peculiar limbo faced by those in a property chain of waiting for an exchange/completion date.
Legal llamas move slowly but estimated conveyancing costs are rapidly increasing almost in line with the national debt. Why am I being charged £40 by the solicitors for archive documents when they’re all held electronically? Who knows and being OCD, I’ve printed off my own copy of everything anyway so there’s no need for them to store any hard copies. Always challenge your solicitor’s bill to ensure you know exactly what you are paying for as these sharks would charge you for sneezing.
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