Hello! Boris here. Giving the Covid podium a miss today to moonlight on this blog instead so that I don’t pull back my Zoffany curtains to find an angry mob outside No 10 after I’ve announced my new radical defence policy.
 |
| Have I got to do everything round here? |
The
missus has spent the foreign aid budget on Dolce & Gabbana cushions for the
dog’s bed so now I’m looking at making some hard and unpleasant decisions to
make what little wonga is left go as far as possible. Better not let the Chancellor catch me
fudging the figures eh. But now’s
probably the best moment to do so as he’s busy getting his head round a ‘Knit
Your Own Hoodie’ pattern he got from Tom Daly.
Carpe Diem!
Luxury pooch palace
Attack
is the best form of defence so from Monday, I’m replacing the army with
Lego. Cheaper than this uniformed lot
we’ve got and more robust. Almost broke
my toe stepping barefoot on Junior’s plastic Luke Skywalker it’s so
indestructible. A Lego army could last
for years. Good for fighting off the
Russians and anyone else who might have notions of invading dear old Blighty. Cripes.
Sprinkle a selection of coloured blocks across the beaches and they’d
never get past Margate!
Defence budget cuts
By jingo, the revenue saving possibilities are endless and it’s a chance to earn a few brownie points after fluffing this Covid lark. I could spin off a few Government sponsored building block special edition box sets such as Build Your Own Fossil Fuel Power Station (includes free lump of coal), Build Your Own Electric Car (expensive batteries not included), Build a Bridge to Nowhere and an exclusive set of WMD – Have They or Haven’t They? (includes free cover up report). I say, it’s going to be so much more fun than boring old conventional warfare.
Look out, Carrie’s on the warpath. Better make myself scarce before she gets me to ring Matt Hancock to find out where he got that shade of Tart’s Boudoir rouge he’s painted his home office in. She's not one to cross swords with when she’s got her ‘Changing Rooms’ look about her. No, crikey, not. Right ho, off I pop.
 |
| Thank goodness he's gone - now back to my catnap |
Yes
Boris sling your hook. Last thing we
need is Starmer, Sturgeon and that whole other posse of political fools
muscling in on this blog.
Happy April Fools!
1 comment:
Well...I like deer old Boris...
Sorry..Dear old Boris..HeHe!
When he comes out with things like this..
"If you can work from home, go to work...
Don't go to work...Go outside...Don't go outside,
And then we will or won't, something or other." :).
But then we have dear old Labour leader Sir Keir
Starmer saying "The prime minister appears to be
effectively telling millions of people to go back
to work without a clear plan for safety or clear
guidance as to how to get there without using public
transport."
And in the online Sun newspaper..sorry comic, for
the last three days, some tart called Jennifer Arcuri
has come forward, and admitted to a four year affair
with Boris whilst he was mayor of London and still
married..
Poor old Boris..how many children has he..? 6~7 even
he's not sure...
Still it makes for a good laugh with a mug of tea
about mid~day..!
Well..l can't sit here having fun and a laugh..! :)
It's nearly three..so l'm off to watch Rick Stein,
on his journey from Venice to Istanbul..!
Then The Repair Shop at 4:30..Ah! The Repair Shop...
I~LOVE~THE~REPAIR~SHOP...! :O) Amen..
Post a Comment