COVID'S COME TO STAY

After 2 years of pandemic paranoia, Covid’s finally caught up with me and decided to pay me an unwelcome visit so I’m updating this post from my germ ridden sick bed in the spare room.  (Sorry kids, I’ll make sure it gets de-fumigated before your next visit). 

Looks like Covid's here to stay

I reckon I bumped into Covid at Thorpe Park last Saturday where it too had decided to enjoy a day out of fun rides and frolics.  Since none of the rides were being sanitised between uses then it was inevitable that Covid thought it could go home with new friends after its day at the park.  Take your pick, who looks the healthiest and hasn’t already had the pleasure of my company?  Yeah, she’ll do!

 

There's more to theme parks than rides

So here I am, barely able to croak, full of snot and feeling like that rough hardcore after it had been ‘wacked’ all over only sweatier.  I’m three quarters of the way through a bottle of Covonia tickly cough syrup and living on a diet of cream crackers and Vocalzone pastilles as nothing else appeals.

 

The Covid diet

Spookily, Covid found me almost a year to the day since I had my second vaccine.  Did anyone else out there notice this correlation?  I’m sure conspiracy theorists would make something of this odd coincidence.

 

Vaccine immunity gone after 1 year

Nurse Bertie doesn’t appear to be taking her duties all that seriously.  I’ve been subjected to a number of ‘Bertie Bed Baths’ with hands and feet being licked clean with that ticklish sandpapery tongue cats have.  The NHS could cut their water bills in half with a few cats dotted about the wards.  NHS take note!

 

Nurse Bertie is looking after me

Excuse me but I think I'm the one that should be resting ...

I’ve been stuck in the spare room for three days and the novelty is now starting to wear off.  How long I’ll have to live in this self-isolation gulag is anyone’s guess but I suppose until I test negative then I’m confined to this small room with just my laptop and knitting to keep me company.

 

Nurse Bertie's making sure I don't escape self isolation

The moral of this story is that next time you visit a theme park ensure you wear a pair of latex gloves and a face mask as even though you may be outdoors, germs linger on all those rides whose safety bars and harnesses have been touched by a million unwashed, snot-soaked fingers and NOT been anti-bac wiped by the park staff.