GROUND FARCE - Pastures new: WFH - I'M FAT & DEPRESSED?

I’ve been locked out of the lounge by the plasterers who appear to have made themselves right at home. Dust sheets trail down the corridor like a giant Gyproc encrusted anaconda.

Giant anaconda dust sheet

Water filled buckets line the kitchen creating an innovative feature that wouldn’t look out of place in an episode of ‘Garden Rescue’.

Indoor water feature

I’ve had to barricade the kitchen doorway to stop Shelby terrorising the workmen. She can’t resist the lure of a good safety shoe to sniff so she’s keeping me company in the extension whilst I try not to think about the mess to be cleared up after they’ve gone. Ugghhh! This is life for the rest of this week.

Keeping Shelby out of the way

Meanwhile, a chuckle reading Eleanor Hayward’s article that appeared in a recent copy of The Times headed up “Full-time WFH can make you fat and depressed” no doubt sponsored by the management of the Office of National Statistics who are desperately fighting a losing battle trying to get staff back into the workplace.

Tortoises work from home every day

The article claims that working from home all week increases the risk of being overweight and depressed. Really? And that those who work remotely five days a week took twice as many sick days compared with those going into the office. How? Most of the time, it’s exposure to germ ridden colleagues who drag their sorry, virus filled arses into the office that causes others to have time off.

So, Eleanor for the benefit of all us WFH employees, please could you clarify how being in a one-person sanitized remote working bubble gives rise to sickness absence?

I’m also most interested in the claim that ‘people who stayed at home were also more likely to have joint or back pain which can be caused by hunching over a laptop all day.’ As a person engaged largely in a data inputter role currently suffering from recurrent carpal tunnel syndrome I dispute this claim. RSI and joint related conditions can be caused by ANY repetitive activity involving a computer workstation in ANY location and not just from using a laptop at home.

I’ve been working in an office environment using computers all my life. I have had carpal tunnel release surgery on both hands largely as a result of the excessive amount of keyboarding done over the years. I also suffer from neck/shoulder problems affected by keyboarding REGARDLESS of where or how the keyboarding is done. I feel the claims made in your article whilst not totally untrue are somewhat inaccurate and definitely shouldn’t be taken as gospel by anyone working from home.

Most office employees are given VDU regulation training highlighting best practice when using computer workstations and I’m sure most would observe these requirements even when working from home. The several UK businesses surveyed should have been asked to confirm whether or not they had ensured all employees working from home had indeed been given such training prior to exposing them to such alleged health risks.

And as for the ‘monotony’ of being at the same desk for five days in a row that you’ve mentioned, let me assure you that this has nothing to do with the working environment but more likely to be linked to the type of job you do. You can be working from home for any length of time and still wish to blow your brains out because the tasks you’re engaged in are duller than the list of ingredients on a packet of washing detergent. It really makes no odds where you do certain jobs, they are still going to be the same mind numbingly boring chore regardless.

Rather than lambast those working from home, employers should be considering the beneficial effects on the planet and workforce from a reduction in daily commuting. Just think how much better life would be if everyone worked from home and didn’t drive into an office every day. Roads would be less congested, air pollution levels would be reduced, those suffering from road rage might be less stressed, less fossil fuel would be consumed, there would be fewer parking related complaints to deal with. Businesses could move into smaller premises thus cutting their costs plus freeing up office accommodation that could be converted to residential use to satisfy demand for new housing thus helping to save green belt spaces.

Let’s face it, the real reason managers want staff back in the office is because they are fearful of the risk to their own roles. No on-site staff to manage, no managers needed. They don’t want to lose their personal parking spaces, plush offices or executive washrooms. Without minions to boss around or control, their own managerial power is somewhat diminished plus they’re also hopeless with technology. Ever seen top knobs trying to set up a Zoom meeting? Hilarious!

Empowering staff to execute their roles anywhere via the use of technology is the way forward otherwise employ robots who won’t need managing and will be model employees. Learn to trust your workforce. Be flexible. Put planet before profit – that’s what I say.

Here’s a novel thought for business leaders - If you don’t want fat or depressed WFH employees then why not issue staff with under-desk treadmills or tickets to comedy shows? That should keep them fit whilst working and happy afterwards.

Please Mr Times, I don’t want to read any more drivel about how WFH is bad for you. The Universities of Birmingham & Kent carried out their own study on flexible working which is a far more interesting and positive read than your fat shaming article. https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/documents/college-social-sciences/business/research/wirc/flexible-working-and-the-future-of-work.pdf

Flexible or home working should have happened about 30 years ago when technology first revolutionised the office environment. Shame it took a pandemic to create this office culture shift. Just get over it!

In the meantime, let's see how those pesky plasterers are getting on.