TRACTOR PART X - ASSEMBLY

‘Men are from Mars and women from Venus’ I screamed at the other half in frustration as we engaged in verbal fisticuffs, all part and parcel of our DIY projects these days. His logic and mine, like the planets are never in favourable alignment which always ends up with me blowing my top in spectacular fashion.

I'm keeping well out of this cat fight

It took all my will-power not to jab him in the right kidney with the bradawl! God he can be so infuriating!! I just can’t understand why he fails to understand my explanations. Maybe next time I should try Spanish or mime language.

Having thrown a strop, calmed down, the petulant teenager in me has struck a truce so that tractor assembly can continue. Clearly after this morning’s altercations there are multiple ways to approach this part of the project so I’m not going to profer any advice here except this – do it however the hell way you want to. This is how we eventually did it:

Begin by turning over your black shaped base panel and drilling some pilot holes in this to correspond with the position of the wooden battens reinforcing the inside of each box.

Drill pilot holes underneath your base panel

Check both boxes to make sure you’ve attached all relevant components such as indicators, number plates, front grille, push lights, seat and brackets for the steering wheel. It may not be possible to fit these easily once the tractor is fully assembled.

Complete all other sub assemblies

Using A frames and a couple of long strips of wood, lay your pre-drilled base feet downwards across the timber and put the smaller engine box on top. Align the box to all the edges so that nothing overhangs or is indented then screw base to box battens from below, taking care not to nudge the box out of place as you work your way round.

Align engine block and screw in from underneath

Next, grab your larger back box and position this onto the pre-drilled base behind the engine block. Again, make sure all outer edges are aligned.

Before screwing this box into place from below, the two boxes will be joined together internally using some 10mm hex bolts. Drill four holes – 2 x top and 2 bottom through both boxes then fit bolts nice and tight so as to close any gaps between the boxes.

Bolt both boxes together

With your boxes secured together, screw the larger box to the pre-drilled base. If you have used correctly sized wood screws then nothing should be visible from inside the box.

Underside of base panel

At last a tractor is slowly emerging

Lastly add the wheels. Position your front wheels so that they slightly overhang the front engine box. 

Wheels slightly protruding out front

Poke a bradawl through the middle hole in the wheel hub to mark out the position for your bolt hole. Drill a hole large enough for a 12mm hex bolt. Repeat for the larger rear wheels. Fix in place using a couple of large metal washers.

Both wheels now added

Touch up any painted bits that may have got scuffed in the assembly process then coat the interior and exterior with yacht varnish for added durability.

Varnish inside and outside 

Looks brilliant!

TRACTOR PART IX - STEERING

To a small boy, it’s not going to be a real tractor unless you can pretend you’re driving it through muddy fields or country lanes so the last thing you need to add to your assembly is a steering wheel.

Rather than make a boring old flat steering wheel from a piece of MDF, I wanted something interactive with bells, whistles or real-life engine noises that would engage the developing imagination of even the most boisterous toddler.

Enter the Casdon GPS steering wheel. An interactive motoring experience for little ones. Just start your engine then follow the audible instructions to either the doctor’s surgery, petrol station, supermarket or home. 

Casdon GPS steering wheel

This device has flashing indicators, a horn, realistic motoring noises and its own ‘sat nav’ screen.

Almost more fun than a real car

I’ve had great fun playing with it for the past 10 minutes so our car mad little grandson is sure to love it making it the best addition to our tractor creation. Available online from Ebay, Amazon or a whole host of other retailers.

Not tall enough for a tractor

How to incorporate this gadget into our tractor? The whole Casdon gizmo is 46 cms total height but our biggest tractor box is 50 cms high which means it’s not tall enough. To get round this problem, a small wooden shelf has been added to the box interior on which to stand the steering wheel.

Small shelf to stand steering wheel on

Cut a thick timber square to use as a shelf and fix to the interior wall of the larger box using a small right-angled bracket. The square should be roughly the size of the gadget’s plastic base. Round off the corners of the block to mirror those of the base.

Drill holes in the plastic base

Drill four small holes in each corner of the plastic base to secure the steering column to the wooden shelf.

Large sized plastic pipe bracket

A large white plastic pipe bracket has been used to reduce overall movement which hopefully will prevent the thing getting broken by even the roughest of drivers.

Fit shelf and bracket to box prior to assembling tractor

As mentioned in the previous Assembly post, fixing these components has to be done prior to joining both boxes together. Paint the wooden shelf and bracket green to blend in with the rest of the interior.

Battery operated.  On/Off switch behind the wheel

Drivers, ready to start your engines? 

Steering wheel fixed into position

Great! Time to pootle on down to Westminster …

TRACTOR PART VIII - NUMBER PLATE

Some people find images of Jesus on their toast or in the froth of an over-priced cappuccino but I’ve discovered a suspect looking stain on my kitchen worktop. 

Is it just my gutter mind or does this crusted up bit of seepage on my worktop look like a …?

Does this look like a penis?

Moving swiftly on. The topic is tractors. (Not again!)  I’m sure that by now, you’re sick of hearing about tractor this and tractor that. You probably wish a vast chasm would open up to swallow anything tractor related. You’re not alone.

Fortunately, our quest to magic up the best birthday gift ever for our darling grandson is almost nearing its end but until then tough, you’ll just have to grin and bear it.

With a belly full of pringles, mince pies and chocolate matchmakers, it’s hard to find the motivation for DIY but to work off these superfluous calories, I’m re-visiting the tractor’s rear end to make a personalised number plate. Here’s how I did it:

Using a bit of leftover thin plywood, cut out a 6 inch square then give it two coats of yellow paint.

Painted yellow square for your number plate

When dry, position your painted square in the desired position on the back panel of your tractor. Lightly draw round the square in pencil to mark out the area for the glue.

Mark out in pencil then apply glue inside square lines

Stick the painted square in place with a touch of CT1 then leave to dry.

Glue square down then leave to dry

Whilst this is bonding, over to PC and printer.  If you haven’t had too many festive sherries and have a steady hand then feel free to draw your personalised plate freehand but I’m using a bit of a collage cheat here. 

I’ve printed out my personalised number plate onto a bit of white card using a nice large bold font.  Cut round your numbers/letters then stick them onto the painted square as if you were creating a car number plate.  Now when I did this, the printer ink smudged off quite a bit leaving very patchy lettering so once I’d glued the letters in place I touched them up with a bit of black paint.

Stick letters/numbers into position on your square

 

For that final industrial style finishing touch, add short stubby dome headed screws to each corner taking care that these don't protrude inside the box.  

Add finishing touches

Your tractor’s rear end has now been personalised.

Nice butt

TRACTOR PART VII - REAR END

It’s not often you get to talk back sides on the internet but hey, why not?

No DIY on Christmas Day so now the big event is over, it's time to look at how to increase the appeal of your tractor’s rear end by adding a couple of indicators to the back panel.

That is one large ugly butt

Now this is a real Blue Peter special as you’ll need some red shiny paper, a couple of empty yogurt pots (Muller Corner’s transparent ones) a bit of stiff card, scissors and glue.  Remember - don't run while holding scissors.

Making indicators from plastic and paper

Enjoy the yogurt for breakfast then thoroughly wash the pot. Lick it out if you must. This vanilla choco balls one was certainly very tasty. Cut away the small corner section so that you are just left with the larger plastic triangular part of the pot.

Transparent Muller Corner yogurt pot

Square off each side corner as it will need to fit the width of the narrow side of the tractor’s back panel.

Cut off each corner then draw round 

Next, take your squared off plastic triangle and draw round a piece of white card to make a template.

Template the shape of the yogurt pot

Use this template to cut out 2 x pieces of stiff red card and 2 x pieces of shiny red paper. In case you are wondering where I got the shiny red paper, I just used an ordinary gift bag. Plenty of red ones around at this time of year.

Use template to cut out shiny paper shape

Glue the shiny red paper onto the stiff red card taking care not to mark or scratch the shiny side.  This should strengthen the shiny paper as it can be quite flimsy to work with.

Glue shiny shape onto red card

When dry, carefully glue the plastic triangle on top of the stiffened shiny red paper. Use a strong, clear glue like CT1 (clear). Leave to dry.

Glue plastic pot on to the shiny red paper

Once you have a completed indicator assembly, position it onto the tractor’s back panel with one indicator on each side and glue into place. Ensure both are aligned at the same level. Leave to dry overnight.

Glue both indicators onto tractor back panel

And there you have it, a simple way to make realistic looking indicators for a wooden tractor.   That's so much better than just a plain back side.

TRACTOR PART VI - PAINT JOB

Feliz Navidad!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas yet my lounge still looks like Santa’s woodworking workshop. Not good.

There's no room for Santa

At times like these, I’m almost glad our family Christmas has been deferred to the new year when hopefully normal lounge service will have been resumed.

The tractor clock is ticking down as I rush about throwing paint here, there and everywhere with gay abandon like the Jackson Pollock of West Sussex, desperately trying to avoid splashing the Crimbo tree or baubles in the process. I wish I had a proper craft room to work in. Santa, are you listening?

Prime the inside and outside of both the tractor boxes with white primer. Remember to sand off any raised grain between coats. Take care that no paint drips down from the domed screw heads.

Prime the inside first

Then prime the outside

I keep the boxes off the floor by propping them on top of tins - baked beans, chopped tomatoes, whatever is to hand in the pantry.

Whilst you’re at it, varnish the base panel, make fajitas for dinner and sort out the plumber who’s busy removing the radiator in the hallway. Aaah! So much to do, not enough hours!!

Where do you want this rad, missus?

Then when you’ve done all that, check the internet for design inspiration for your tractor’s lovely paint job. Guess what? It’s over to the John Deere website to ogle at tractors. Again!

So many tractors to choose from, it’s almost as bad as going shoe shopping. After hours of inspecting and comparing mean machines, I’ve finally picked one to use for design inspiration.

I like this one

You’ll never believe it but when we asked for John Deere green at the paint mixing counter in B&Q they actually had a recipe on the computer which they’d mixed up for a previous customer. Clearly, we’re not the only weirdos in the paint aisle!

Do you have any John Deere green?

Armed with a 750 ml sized tin of luscious green paint, I’m super excited. Can’t wait to start coating the boxes with it but before I do, the paint job design needs to be marked out on the primed side panels of our tractor.

Draw this clearly on your white primed bits so that you can work out what to paint in different colours – in this case green, black and yellow.

Then go for it!!!

Start by painting the insides of each box

Then paint the outside green 

Use black for the front of the engine box

Pick out tractor trim in yellow paint

Add design details in black to the side of the engine

Its beginning to look a lot like tractor

And now to roast the duck ready for the great Christmas feast.  Whatever you're doing, have a good one!

TRACTOR PART V - WHEELS

The invention of the wheel totally revolutionised the world as we know it suddenly making it possible for people to broaden their horizons through travel. I’m hoping my tractor wheel design will totally elevate these MDF boxes to another level.

Begin by working out the diameter for both pairs of wheels remembering to keep these in proportion with each box.

Using the leftover part of your MDF sheet, cut out 2 x large circles with a 46 cm diameter for the back wheels and 2 x smaller circles with a 28 cm diameter for the front wheels.

Components for tractor wheels

To give a 3D dimension to the wheels, I’ve used a selection of small sized circles for a central hub and as wheel nuts.

Once you have cut out your wheels, draw another circle radiating out from the middle point of each wheel to create a wheel hub.

Stick your smaller cut out circles onto each wheel hub arranged as below:

Adding 3D elements to the wheel hub

Drill a hole in the centre of each wheel through all MDF layers large enough for a hex bolt as one of these will be used to secure the finished wheel to the body of the tractor. More about this later on. For now, I’m just going to concentrate on decorating these wheels.

Hex bolts used for decoration and fastening

Bolts give a nice industrial look to the hubs

Once everything is dry, prime only the wheel hub then paint with two coats of bright yellow paint. 

Prime the wheel hub

Paint hubs yellow

I’ve used a lovely rich yellow colour called Bonjour available as a Valspar matt emulsion from B&Q. You should need no more than a tester pot of this colour.

The perfect shade of tractor yellow

Mix up a slightly darker shade of yellow by adding a very tiny bit of brown paint and add some shading to your wheel hub to create the illusion of depth.

Add some shading to the wheel hub

Turn your wheels over to paint the whole of the back face in black (2 coats) then when dry continue on the front face, painting what looks like a ring doughnut for the tyre.

Paint wheel backs in black

Paint the front tyres in black

Repeat on all the wheels

Mix up a slightly lighter shade of black by adding a tiny bit of white paint then add some shading to your tyre to create the illusion of treads.

Add shading to create treads

When everything is completely dry, varnish the front face of each wheel then set aside ready for fitting later on.

Finished wheels ready for varnishing