GENERATION V

Not satisfied with having annoyed most businesses, workers and retirees, Vote Fear Keir is now reaching out to the nation’s ‘youf’ to save his bacon by giving all 16 yr old peeps the right to go to the polls.

Considering half of this demographic probably can’t even spell Polling Station and as most never leave the confines of their untidy bedrooms unless its to eat or pee then Farage needn’t lose sleep over this latest proposal.

Somehow, I can’t see a mobilised army of revolutionary Generation Vote storming political bastions with demands to free all Pokemon, reduce the cost of Xboxes or legalise cannabis. At 16 I wasn’t even remotely aware or interested in what happened in Parliament. There were always more pressing concerns such as hanging out with mates, sneaking into nightclubs/pubs or devising ways to wear make-up without being caught by dad.

To many youngsters, political parties are things you gatecrash armed with bottles of alcohol purloined from parental cocktail cabinets.

Apathy often rules in the 16 -18 demographic so how will the Government engage with this new electorate? Perhaps they could sex up elections by changing the current stuffy old polling station way of voting into something exciting like a game show, where punters can vote via smartphone from the comfort of their sweaty-sock-smelling teen caves.

I envisage future elections rather like a show akin to The Traitors where MPs sit round a huge table wearing voluminous hooded black capes making promises about future policies. Voters could then use a QR code to eject any ‘traitors’ who are clearly lying through their back teeth and not to be trusted. The last person left in the room that lies most convincingly gets to be Prime Minister. Simple. Far more entertaining than the current general election process. Throw in a free Dominos and you’re likely to have young people voting in droves!

Kevin & Perry go to the polls? I can’t see it happening unless their parents drag them along. Isn’t there the risk that having allowed 16 – 18 year old’s the chance to vote, they’ll also want to do what every other adult does legally ie drink, get tattoos and sign up to numerous buy now, pay later agreements? Could this be the thin end of the wedge for Sir Keir?