ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

Paint is never quite what it seems.  It’s like a liquid chameleon changing shades at different times of day or in different lighting.

Dusted Moss 2 - tester

 

My tester pot of Dulux Dusted Moss 2 when applied to a sheet of A4 paper appeared a light celeriac shade of green but when applied to the wall, is actually more grey than green so instead of calming vegetation what I’ve ended up with is an ‘elephant in the room’.

 

Hmmm - looks a bit grey to me

Is there an elephant in this room?

Strangely at around 4 pm the elephant metamorphosized into a sage bush as the afternoon sun shone in through the window turning the room a lovely shade of greenish grey.  That’s more like it, less Nelly and more like lime jelly.

 

Is it grey or green?  Well it depends

On what time of day it is

The last coat of paint has been applied to the spare room which is slowly starting to come together.  The dark contrast of the greyish walls has made the cornice look whiter and will hopefully make a subtle backdrop for my Art Deco paper feature wall but more about that later on.

POWER OF PAINT

Paint has the power to transform even the dullest surfaces into something magical; a blue sea of serenity, a tangy orange casbah, an ice white igloo or a lush green jungle.  The choice of paint colours available is endless and some colour mixing centres can even create a colour to match anything you like by using a clever scanning gizmo that zaps your item then works out what shade of paint that translates to.  It’s amazing! 

Homebase have run a buy-one-get-one half price Easter deal on all Dulux paints so instead of chocolate eggs, I’ve been filling my boots with emulsion.  I’ve bought enough paint to cover the spare room, both corridors plus the lounge/diner.  No time like the present to bag yourself a paint bargain.

Inspired by nature and something I saw on the Etsy website, I’ve chosen a palette of serene greenish/grey shades to colour my life.

 

Lovely shades of calming green

For the spare room and corridors, a nice shade of Dulux Dusted Moss 2 matt emulsion.  This kind of grey green is very subtle in tone.

 

Colour for the spare room

For the lounge/diner, I’ve splashed out on Dulux Heritage velvet matt in a shade called Green Earth.  As the name suggests, its greener than Dusted Moss and tones in nicely with my Lucetta curtains which have many shades of green in their patterned design.

 

Goes well with the lounge curtains

For our bedroom we’re pushing the boat out and going all Farrow & Ball.  Don’t tell the other half that it’ll cost as much as a ticket to the British GP to paint our bedroom or he’ll confiscate my credit card!  For the walls, I’ve chosen Cromarty and for the wood panelling, a lovely sludgy shade called Pigeon which I happen to bag on a yellow ticket paint deal at Homebase.

 

Wood panelling behind the bed

Main colour for our bedroom

So now all I’ve got to do is get my arse in gear and paint, paint, paint!

Mist coating the spare bedroom in diluted white paint

Looks like the inside of the freezer

Painting in parallel upstairs &  downstairs

Looks a bit patchy but it'll all work out in the end

My bestest paint buddy

RADICAL DEFENCE CUTS

Hello!  Boris here.  Giving the Covid podium a miss today to moonlight on this blog instead so that I don’t pull back my Zoffany curtains to find an angry mob outside No 10 after I’ve announced my new radical defence policy.

Have I got to do everything round here?

 

The missus has spent the foreign aid budget on Dolce & Gabbana cushions for the dog’s bed so now I’m looking at making some hard and unpleasant decisions to make what little wonga is left go as far as possible.  Better not let the Chancellor catch me fudging the figures eh.  But now’s probably the best moment to do so as he’s busy getting his head round a ‘Knit Your Own Hoodie’ pattern he got from Tom Daly.  Carpe Diem!

 

Luxury pooch palace

Attack is the best form of defence so from Monday, I’m replacing the army with Lego.  Cheaper than this uniformed lot we’ve got and more robust.  Almost broke my toe stepping barefoot on Junior’s plastic Luke Skywalker it’s so indestructible.  A Lego army could last for years.  Good for fighting off the Russians and anyone else who might have notions of invading dear old Blighty.  Cripes.  Sprinkle a selection of coloured blocks across the beaches and they’d never get past Margate!

 

Defence budget cuts

By jingo, the revenue saving possibilities are endless and it’s a chance to earn a few brownie points after fluffing this Covid lark.  I could spin off a few Government sponsored building block special edition box sets such as Build Your Own Fossil Fuel Power Station (includes free lump of coal), Build Your Own Electric Car (expensive batteries not included), Build a Bridge to Nowhere and an exclusive set of WMD – Have They or Haven’t They?  (includes free cover up report). I say, it’s going to be so much more fun than boring old conventional warfare. 

Look out, Carrie’s on the warpath.  Better make myself scarce before she gets me to ring Matt Hancock to find out where he got that shade of Tart’s Boudoir rouge he’s painted his home office in.  She's not one to cross swords with when she’s got her ‘Changing Rooms’ look about her.  No, crikey, not.  Right ho, off I pop.

Thank goodness he's gone - now back to my catnap

 

Yes Boris sling your hook.  Last thing we need is Starmer, Sturgeon and that whole other posse of political fools muscling in on this blog.

Happy April Fools!

COR - NICE!

Is there anything that doesn’t come from China?  Now before you jump on your troll bandwagon and cancel this blog for being racist, I am merely asking a simple question here and not casting aspersions of any kind.

 

Well travelled cornice

Here’s me thinking my cornice has travelled all the way from Scarborough but judging by the small Chinese writing stamped on some of the plaster lengths, there may have been a slight scenic detour via Shanghai.  And this brings me to a small but potentially important snippet to share about plaster cornice in case your finger is hovering over the ‘buy it now’ button on any coving websites.

 

British made?

As with all things it appears that there is cornice and there is cornice.  Properly produced plaster cornice is made with hessian and batons running inside the plaster lengths to give them strength, prevent disintegration when cutting and usually comes in 3 metre lengths. 

 

Little evidence of hessian or batons

If only I’d been told this before buying my cornice, I may have chosen a different supplier or looked for a UK made product.  Size clearly matters a great deal especially for larger sized rooms as the longer the length, the fewer joins you’ll have.  My ‘bargain’ plaster cornice was supplied in 2.4 m lengths and although thick in profile appeared lacking in the hessian/baton department hence the budget friendly price. 

 

Nice corner return either side of the window

Great mitred corners

Fortunately for me, I’d found an experienced plasterer on Checkatrade who managed to minimise the impact of visual joins and cut most of the lengths without too much wastage otherwise it could have been total carnage. 

 

Downstairs hallway

A few tricky corners to get round

I guess what I’m trying to say here is firstly don’t be too swayed by product price when choosing materials for your refurbishment project and secondly, always invest in the services of a professional to get a quality outcome. 

The cornice has now been fitted and looks fabulous.  Once painted white it will offset the coloured walls with a touch of class.

Main bedroom - window wall

Main bedroom - wardrobe wall

Main bedroom - back wall

Spare bedroom - window wall

Spare bedroom - side wall