“Yes, we have rooms available or rather one room available.”
“Covid safe? Naturally, sir.”
“To ensure maximum safety, the room is spartanly furnished with sugar soaped walls, no fixtures/fittings or anything that might harbour bacteria. It’s so ultra-minimalist even the houseflies have moved out.”
“Of course, sir.”
“Now when I say ‘minimalist’ I mean it’s no frills but we do still have bedding.”
“There may be no heating though or possibly hot water.”
“A quick plunge in an ice bucket is quite bracing at this time of year so I’ve heard.”
“Do you wish to make a booking?”
“Ah right, you’d prefer the Travelodge down the road.”
“No problem sir.”
“Have a jolly Christmas – jolly careful. Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Alcatraz Motel - all the comforts of home
With
the camp bed freed from its Lok n Store prison and a shiny new curtain rail,
the spare bedroom is now fit for Santa or anyone else who might fancy dropping
into the newly opened ‘Alcatraz Motel’. Our
spare room is perfect for anyone seeking a spartan retreat where they can
contemplate life’s deeper meaning unencumbered by materialistic clutter. Think penitentiary meets Marie Kondo.
West Sussex being Tier 2 then I guess overnight stays are top of the naughty list this year but you should always be prepared in case any unexpected Crimbo guests rock up. Like Santa. All that pressie delivering is bound to be a bit tiring. He might fancy a quick forty winks before he swishes off to Bognor on his magical reindeer sleigh (have you been licking those walls again?) so we’ve made an effort.
At last I can hang out my garland without fear of it being pinched
At last, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas and a lot less like a demolition site. Only 13 days to go; the halls are decked, the tree is up and I’ve even managed to hang the garland on the fireplace.
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| Deck the halls |
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| Trim the tree |
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| Hang the stockings on the chimney |
We’ve even given festive cards to our new neighbours (posted through letterboxes in the dead of night). Yes, there’s even a Christmassy robin in the garden – it’s a truly magical time of year.
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| Lovely little robin visits our garden most days |
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| Only 13 more sleeps to go |
2 comments:
I'll take it..! I'll take it!
Can l book it for the 25th of December,
with my wife, as she is expecting a son,
who will be called Jesus..
The only other option was a manger at the
rear of a pub..though the pub sounds interesting..!
That was fully booked, with a donkey and an ass...
Less said about that..! :).
Seriously..hope your winning the battle with your
home, interesting seeing updates..you'll have to write
a book, when done, and, make sure it has illustrations..!
🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄
Have a merry christmas Willie!
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