DO THEY KNOW ITS CHRISTMAS?

It’s Christmas!  Santa’s arrived at Chichester canal, fir trees festooned with twinkly lights adorn the town, the shops are crammed with festive goodies, every other advert features a flying fairy magicking up presents or delicious treats and it won’t be long before our ears are assaulted by an endless loop of crimbo tunes. 

 

Only 46 mince pies until Christmas

Magicking up some late night wallpapering

Deco Paradiso feature wall in the extension

Confused?  I know the clocks have now gone back but seriously, Christmas is still a month and a half away! We don’t need all this commercialist clap trap for the next 50 odd days - it’s a sure fire way of killing the magic of Christmas.  Shelby’s so bored of it all, she’s having an extra long nap behind the sofa.

 

Wake me up when it's all over

I may only have half a kitchen but now that the new oven has been connected I’m making the family Christmas cake, a tradition that’s been followed for decades.  It wouldn’t be crimbo without one of my extra special fruit cakes laced with Southern Comfort and wrapped in tons of marzipan. 

 

Mama's got a brand new oven

Putting the new kitchen through its baking paces

Not having a proper kitchen can’t be used as an excuse for not bothering to bake so excuse me whilst I jingle all the way to the Neff having stirred up my booze soaked dry fruit and sampled a wee dram or two to make sure I've got the recipe correct.  Bottoms up!

Mmm - does this fruit need a bit more booze?

STELLAR WORKTOPS

Now that the kitchen units have been fitted, project pace is hotting up making it trickier to co-ordinate everything such as gas connections, plumbing and wiring. 

The new worktops unexpectedly arrived with only a day’s notice but look stunning.  

Worktops fitted

As this is the last kitchen I’m ever planning to buy then I’ve pushed the boat out and gone for a long lasting Silestone quartz worktop also supplied by Covers of Chichester.  Silestone is a hybrid surface of premium minerals, quartz and recycled materials blended together to provide a worktop that is resistant to stains, scratches or high impacts.

 

Silestone quartz - Stellar Night

The worktop is 30 mm thick in a design called Stellar Night, beautiful glossy black with glittering specs (stars) that spangle when the sunlight catches them.  Not that we’re getting much sunlight at the moment (squelch, squelch) but when we do our worktops will look like a glittering galactic disco ball.  Perfect!  Everyone knows the best parties are always in the kitchen.

 

Ready to party

Unlike standard laminate worktops, quartz ones have to be templated and fitted by professionals.  They will create the right gaps for sinks, hobs or pipes so no risk of accidentally cutting the wrong sized hole for your fixtures.  If you buy your worktops from a company like Covers then the cost of templating/fitting is included in the price. 

 

Holes cut to accommodate gas hob

New sink looks fabulous 

Quartz worktops are not cheap.  Even with staff discount, these still set me back almost £1,500.  I can’t imagine what the bill would have been for a larger kitchen at the standard price but be prepared to sacrifice an arm, leg and probably several fingers/toes too if you want these.  However, these worktops are likely to be around longer than I am so well worth the money.

 

Nicely rounded corners so you don't catch yourself

Once cut to size, the worktops are then glued into position on top of the kitchen base units.  Weighing a ton, these worktops are going nowhere so I’m not sure how you would fare if you ever decided to change your units for those of a different colour.  Probably something to bear in mind when future proofing your kitchen, select units and worktops that will age well, remain fashionable and provide value adding if you sell your property.

 

A classic look that should stand the test of time

The overall effect with the grey units and oak doors is lovely although it’ll be interesting to see how much more visible dust or crumbs will be on this type of surface.

  

KITCHEN UNITS FITTED

Many months back when I first started looking for kitchen units, I searched high and low for a retailer that would supply me with a black carcass coupled with oak doors.  Don’t be daft, no-one wants that colour combo for a kitchen so it was no surprise that kitchen units fitting this specification couldn’t be found anywhere for love nor money. 

 

Black and wood - a lovely combo

Eventually I got a quote from IKEA – certainly can’t be beaten on price for their units.  Their quote was about half the price of all the other suppliers approached (Homebase, Wickes, B&Q etc) and if you have a small kitchen then you know IKEA’s design is going to make the best use of all available space.  Of course, all units are supplied flat packed so ask yourself do you really want to spend hours assembling it all?  Not likely.  IKEA’s installation costs are calculated on a per unit basis, the more you have to build, the higher the price.  As a rough guide I was quoted £1,500 for assembly of my kitchen layout. 

Colour wise, IKEA’s black Metod cabinets would have been perfect but for the lack of oak look doors and the fact that they don’t supply 500 mm wide units.  The closest wood look door called Askersund, a light ash offering the colour of partially cooked pasta, just didn’t do it for me.

 

The closest choice for black cabinets

Too light in colour

In the end I purchased the kitchen units from Covers at Chichester who supplied these ready built instead of flat packed, a bit like a Howdens kitchen.  Lovely oak doors but no black carcasses. 

 

Kitchen units - grey and oak

My kitchen units are grey in colour with dark anthracite wood grained panels on the ends. 

 

New England oak coloured doors

Dark anthracite grained end panels

The doors are called New England oak, a beautiful colour with realistic looking wood grain which you can choose to have either vertical or horizontal.  I’ve gone for a vertical grain.

Vertical grain oak doors

To gain the most storage space from the wall hung cabinets, I have chosen the tallest possible.  At 900 mm high these cabinets are huge, almost too tall for the height of the room and to leave a decent gap between the worktop and the cabinet, they’ve been hung directly under the cornice. 

 

Very tall wall hung cabinet 

Cabinet height is something to bear in mind when designing your kitchen.  You don’t want lots of wasted space above the wall units that only gather junk, dust/grease but at the same time, you need to ensure the room doesn’t look overwhelmed by units that are not in proportion overall. 

 

Lots of storage but too high?

Always check that your kitchen supplier will exchange any cabinets after you’ve taken delivery of them.  A fact that was not pointed out to me at the point of purchase otherwise I would have paid more attention to the dimensions of both the room and the cabinets on the design plan and perhaps selected ones less tall.

 

Base units all fitted

Other design issues to look out for - kitchen sinks and the cabinets that house them.  My new sink is a single stainless steel bowl with no drainer.  It’s small, sleek and has little shelves which are used with an over sink drainer or chopping board.  Fabulous!  Except that it is quite deep.  

Small but quite deep

So?  Well once the plumbing is added under the sink, you’ve lost half your cupboard space.  Not something your kitchen designer points out to you when they’re flogging you an expensive new sink.

 

Position of new sink

Corner units – now these are an interesting kettle of fish.  It appears not all corner units have L shaped shelves inside them, some just have a single straight shelf or a variety of carousel type attachments.  These conveniently allow you to rotate pots outwards but are not very space effective as all your pots/pans can only be placed inside the carousel unit.  Consider carefully how and what you’re going to store in it.

 

For best use of space, get an L shaped shelf

My corner unit has a lovely shaped internal shelf but has doors that do not appear to open centrally outwards as depicted in the installation diagram.  Instead, these are hinged in the middle which means you have to side step around the door when opening it in order to get into the cupboard.  Weird or what?  Again, something to double check during kitchen design.

 

Centrally opening doors on corner cabinet

This is what I've ended up with

Now that the kitchen units have been fitted, the whole room has taken on a completely different look definitely feeling larger and more spacious than the old kitchen.

New kitchen

Old kitchen

LIZ TRUSS RESIGNS

Well, well, well, so Liz Truss has finally resigned!  The current political situation reminds me of that old 80’s joke ‘what lasts longer a pope or a wine gum?’  In this case, wine gums.  Inevitably, the only option left on the table was for Dizzy Lizzy to go home and eat a large slice of humble pie, washed down with a nice cup of tea. 

Of course, the question now on everyone’s lips is who will be our next Prime Minister?  In lieu of a general election, here’s my hot list of prime candidates to lead the UK:

 

Bring Back Burgers!

Ronald McDonald – Bring Back Burgers is his party’s motto.  Down with tofu and anything else that doesn’t come from cows.  His manifesto includes a Windfall Tax on beans and any vegetarian food that gives rise to toxic emissions which is pretty much everything.

 

Vote for Tickle Me Tuesdays

Elmo – Come on, everyone loves Elmo!  He’s got to be better than any of the muppets put forward by the Tories.  His manifesto includes a Tickle Me Tuesday where the nation will go outside every week at 8 pm to tickle their neighbour because some of these miserable buggers need laughter in their lives.

 

Not again!

Boris Johnson – Bring Back Boris?  Ok maybe a second season of the Boris soap isn’t such a good idea after all so moving swiftly on.

 

Always observe the Sabbath Day

Ozzy Osbourne – Who better to light up the nation’s way forward than the Prince of Darkness himself!  Ozzy’s mandate will ensure the preservation of bats, free prescription medication and observing the Sabbath Day on 3 December which will be declared a new UK bank holiday.

 

I can find you the cheapest policies

Auto Sergei – Can search the markets for the least disruptive policy and guarantee you a free cup of coffee to boot.  What’s not to like?

 

I'll show Larry the Mouser who's the top cat

Bertie – Who says cats can’t be Prime Ministers? 

 

I'm perfect for this political drama

Olivia Coleman – She’s been in everything except No 10.  No hang on, what about The Crown?  I feel a string of BAFTA’s coming on and no doubt she’ll cut a fine dramatic figure during PM Question Time plus her exit will no doubt feature one of those really hammy Hollywood death scenes.

 

Austerity's my middle name

Roland Rat – Err, do you mean Rishi Sunak?  Tipped as the red hot favourite, Rishi will make austerity look about as necessary as a colonic irrigation.  If he gets into power, be prepared to tighten your belts to the point you can’t breathe.  

I’m watching this space for political developments as well as watching paint dry as Fluvid has struck.  

Getting ready to mist coat the kitchen walls

Two diluted coats of matt emulsion

One undiluted coat of white matt emulsion as a base

And whilst our builder is stuck at home with a snotty nose and wracking cough, I’ve thrown open all the windows to paint the kitchen before the base units get fitted next week.

Dulux Soft Fauna 5 - my favourite colour

Kitchen all painted and ready for base units to be fitted