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| Perfect for a bob in the Solent |
I’m thinking of buying a rubber dinghy to float across the Solent to Dover where I plan to ‘surrender’ myself to Border Force as a Spanish speaking migrant in order to cut my living costs.
Whilst billeted in my luxury hotel (Savoy if you please), I’ll commit a few crimes such as abusing the receptionist for having a face like a wet weekend plus a racist attitude or touching up the waiter as he serves the lobster and crab bisque.
Once I’ve decided on a suitable country for deportation then I’ll kick up an almighty fuss at the airport to get handsomely paid to be a ‘good’ girl before flying off for a well-earned holiday at the taxpayer’s expense.
Whilst this might sound like the most ludicrous suggestion this side of Christmas, it’s a plan that obviously works for some…
Meanwhile back in the bog, it’s a different story. Why oh why does everything DIY always have to be so difficult?
A rubber dinghy not being a solution to our monster loo topper problem, I thought the obvious way forward would be to purchase a small bit of worktop. Easier said than done when most laminate worktops are supplied in lengths longer than the 86 cms we need and no-one’s selling any suitable offcuts. Not even Ebay and I’m certainly not paying £100 to any enterprising Etsy sellers for a bespoke top.
Once again, it’s pine-board to the rescue. I’ve purchased a suitable plank measuring 1.15 m long x 40 cm wide that can be cut down to size then either painted or stained accordingly. At just under £15, significantly cheaper than a full-blown laminate worktop and is likely to look just as good.
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| Make your own topper from planking |
Now all we’ve got to do is prepare a cutting template that takes into account any tapering then job’s a good ‘un.
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| Cut to size then paint or stain |
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