RETIREMENT TAX

It's great when the politicos go head to head to have a good verbal scrap - love it, love it, love it!

Political bitch fight

Don’t be fooled by all that pre-election rhetoric spewing forth from the Tory mouth especially their latest ruse to blame Labour for what they are calling the ‘Retirement Tax’.

This alleged tax on the poor old pensioner is nothing to do with the Labour party but everything to do with Tory inflicted fiscal drag resulting from not raising the personal tax allowances.

I’ve been banging on about the plight of state pensioners being dragged into the tax bucket on this blog since January 2023. It seems that its only now that everyone has realised what was only inevitable and not just for pensioners but for anyone whose income is galloping towards any one of the personal allowance tax limits.

Retirement Tax for sheep?

Don’t let those Tory boys pull the wool over your voting eyes. Chancellor Hunt must have realised this would be the case when pulling together his future budget forecasts but chose to keep shtum about it instead of looking at ways of offering a tax exemption to those being paid a state pension. The Tories could have remedied this situation at any time in their tenure but decided not to and now they have the cheek to make out it’s going to be Sir Keir’s fault that pensioners are likely to be taxed in future.

Sir Keir will have to take it on the chin if he gets into no 10 because thanks to the Tories, he won’t be in a financial position to scratch his arse let alone increase the tax allowances in the short term as the coffers have been well and truly emptied by all those expensive/useless migration schemes and generous giveaways to other countries (France, Ukraine etc etc).

Labour would have to find a ton of cash from somewhere if they wanted to increase the personal tax allowances prior to the current 2028 freeze date and I can’t see Rwanda giving the UK a refund any time soon.

Remember – it’s not just pensioners that will be dragged over the tax cliff edge. Part time workers like myself who didn’t benefit from Chancellor Hunt’s ‘generous’ national insurance cut are also facing the tax plunge once a few more pay rises have taken effect.

Who's pinched the tax safety net?

For fear of repeating myself – this is all down to the Tories, NOT Labour. Can you really trust the current Government to put something in place before 2028 to mitigate the impact of fiscal drag on state pensioners? Or will they just push out the freeze deadline even further so that no income is left untaxed?

Do you pick the red pill or the blue pill?

Voting made simple

You have around 4 weeks to decide where the cross is going to go on your ballot paper but believe me, there’s going to be a lot more of this type of political bullshit flying around before then.

WFH - I'M FAT & DEPRESSED?

I’ve been locked out of the lounge by the plasterers who appear to have made themselves right at home. Dust sheets trail down the corridor like a giant Gyproc encrusted anaconda.

Giant anaconda dust sheet

Water filled buckets line the kitchen creating an innovative feature that wouldn’t look out of place in an episode of ‘Garden Rescue’.

Indoor water feature

I’ve had to barricade the kitchen doorway to stop Shelby terrorising the workmen. She can’t resist the lure of a good safety shoe to sniff so she’s keeping me company in the extension whilst I try not to think about the mess to be cleared up after they’ve gone. Ugghhh! This is life for the rest of this week.

Keeping Shelby out of the way

Meanwhile, a chuckle reading Eleanor Hayward’s article that appeared in a recent copy of The Times headed up “Full-time WFH can make you fat and depressed” no doubt sponsored by the management of the Office of National Statistics who are desperately fighting a losing battle trying to get staff back into the workplace.

Tortoises work from home every day

The article claims that working from home all week increases the risk of being overweight and depressed. Really? And that those who work remotely five days a week took twice as many sick days compared with those going into the office. How? Most of the time, it’s exposure to germ ridden colleagues who drag their sorry, virus filled arses into the office that causes others to have time off.

So, Eleanor for the benefit of all us WFH employees, please could you clarify how being in a one-person sanitized remote working bubble gives rise to sickness absence?

I’m also most interested in the claim that ‘people who stayed at home were also more likely to have joint or back pain which can be caused by hunching over a laptop all day.’ As a person engaged largely in a data inputter role currently suffering from recurrent carpal tunnel syndrome I dispute this claim. RSI and joint related conditions can be caused by ANY repetitive activity involving a computer workstation in ANY location and not just from using a laptop at home.

I’ve been working in an office environment using computers all my life. I have had carpal tunnel release surgery on both hands largely as a result of the excessive amount of keyboarding done over the years. I also suffer from neck/shoulder problems affected by keyboarding REGARDLESS of where or how the keyboarding is done. I feel the claims made in your article whilst not totally untrue are somewhat inaccurate and definitely shouldn’t be taken as gospel by anyone working from home.

Most office employees are given VDU regulation training highlighting best practice when using computer workstations and I’m sure most would observe these requirements even when working from home. The several UK businesses surveyed should have been asked to confirm whether or not they had ensured all employees working from home had indeed been given such training prior to exposing them to such alleged health risks.

And as for the ‘monotony’ of being at the same desk for five days in a row that you’ve mentioned, let me assure you that this has nothing to do with the working environment but more likely to be linked to the type of job you do. You can be working from home for any length of time and still wish to blow your brains out because the tasks you’re engaged in are duller than the list of ingredients on a packet of washing detergent. It really makes no odds where you do certain jobs, they are still going to be the same mind numbingly boring chore regardless.

Rather than lambast those working from home, employers should be considering the beneficial effects on the planet and workforce from a reduction in daily commuting. Just think how much better life would be if everyone worked from home and didn’t drive into an office every day. Roads would be less congested, air pollution levels would be reduced, those suffering from road rage might be less stressed, less fossil fuel would be consumed, there would be fewer parking related complaints to deal with. Businesses could move into smaller premises thus cutting their costs plus freeing up office accommodation that could be converted to residential use to satisfy demand for new housing thus helping to save green belt spaces.

Let’s face it, the real reason managers want staff back in the office is because they are fearful of the risk to their own roles. No on-site staff to manage, no managers needed. They don’t want to lose their personal parking spaces, plush offices or executive washrooms. Without minions to boss around or control, their own managerial power is somewhat diminished plus they’re also hopeless with technology. Ever seen top knobs trying to set up a Zoom meeting? Hilarious!

Empowering staff to execute their roles anywhere via the use of technology is the way forward otherwise employ robots who won’t need managing and will be model employees. Learn to trust your workforce. Be flexible. Put planet before profit – that’s what I say.

Here’s a novel thought for business leaders - If you don’t want fat or depressed WFH employees then why not issue staff with under-desk treadmills or tickets to comedy shows? That should keep them fit whilst working and happy afterwards.

Please Mr Times, I don’t want to read any more drivel about how WFH is bad for you. The Universities of Birmingham & Kent carried out their own study on flexible working which is a far more interesting and positive read than your fat shaming article. https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/documents/college-social-sciences/business/research/wirc/flexible-working-and-the-future-of-work.pdf

Flexible or home working should have happened about 30 years ago when technology first revolutionised the office environment. Shame it took a pandemic to create this office culture shift. Just get over it!

In the meantime, let's see how those pesky plasterers are getting on.

All unsightly cracks have been covered up

That's where all our lounge furniture is 

Great cornice work round these corners

GENERAL ELECTION - VOTE LARRY!

OMG! A general election has finally been announced.  About bleeding time!

And so, the battle for power begins. The tabloids are firing up the presses for coverage of the next 6 weeks’ worth of mud-slinging, insult hurling, finger pointing, back stabbing, accusatory accusations and the never-ending ‘he said/she said’ bitch fights that dominate the political world. I wish I was on a flight to Rwanda but even that’s not happening any time soon.

My primary concern is not whether the Tories or Labour get into no 10 after the 4th of July but more importantly, what would happen to Larry the Mouser? I mean does Sir Keir even like cats? Is he a doggy person or a hamster man? (LOL - that sounds wrong on so many levels).

Vote for Larry

As I’m sure Larry will be left behind for the new incumbent, have provisions for felines been made in any political manifestos?

A spokesperson inside no 10 has described scenes of kitty chaos since the recent announcement. Larry has taken to stripping wallpaper, climbing curtains and sharpening his claws on dishy Rishi’s Adidas Samba trainers in a display of defiance not seen since Arthur Scargill took on Maggie Thatcher during the miners strikes.

Should politicians wear trainers at work?  We can't.

It seems Larry hasn’t forgotten the Tory Government’s plan to introduce harsher policing of rough sleepers in its crime bill and in anticipation of his potentially imminent ‘no fault’ eviction is taking it out on the Sunaks. Good kitty!

The other half re-assures me that Larry as Chief Mouser being deemed a civil servant has a job for life and is also likely to have one of those gold-plated pensions guaranteed to keep him in cat treats until he pops his furry clogs. No shivering under a dirty duvet in a shop doorway for him although the same may not be said for the rest of the Tory mob.

Larry - Chief Mouser moggy

DO WE SMELL?

Not another house on the market! Got home today to find a removals van clearing out next door and an email from the landlord of the bungalow on the other side of our property giving me a heads up that he too is putting his house up for sale. Is there something we should know?

Everybody's changing and I don't know why

We obviously smell or have lowered the tone in our neighbourhood so much that it appears no-one wants to live near us anymore. Since moving in over 3 years ago, there have been at least 6 properties sold in our cul-de-sac of 23 houses, many following the demise of the existing elderly proprietors or those moving on into assisted living accommodation.

Whilst I welcome new blood, there’s an awful sense of foreboding too. Until now, our happy little world has largely been filled with quiet, considerate old biddies who love gardening and keep their bungalows well maintained. Allowing a younger element into the street may lead to noisy all-night parties, screaming kids, junk filled gardens and extra cars parking all over the place. 

Coming soon

If I had my way, I’d buy up all 23 properties then turn the cul-de-sac into a private residential estate for the over 60s. Tenants would be subject to rigorous vetting!

Selfish as these thoughts might be, I can’t bear the thought of having to move house again to find somewhere nice and quiet to retire to. That would be a nightmare. The upheaval, expense, the nail-biting drama of the purchase process – there’s no way on earth I want to go through all that malarkey again at my age. I’m leaving this place feet first!

Besides which, I don’t think such quiet places exist anymore as developers/local authorities look to shoehorn in as many houses as they can into every conceivable bit of land resulting in sprawling conurbations that eventually turn into lawless ghettos.

You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your neighbours. With a bit of luck, whoever moves in will look upon us as a couple of anti-social weirdos and avoid us like the plague. Ugh people!

Getting one of these for my front door