DEATH BY A 1000 MILES

One of the worst things about epic adventures like these is the flight.  It’s about time the government allocated resources into developing time travel instead of spending zillions on bombing Iraqis.   There really are better ways to spend 10 hours than being shoe-horned into a flying peasant chariot, forced to breath in every recycled cough, sneeze or fart contributed by fellow passengers (I counted 10 farts by the time we hit the coast of Greenland and most of them were mine!).

Heathrow Terminal 5

Airplanes like hospitals are the last place on earth you can actually sleep in.  Planes are after all,  designed for flying not sleeping.  Banish any thoughts of banking a few zeds before you land, they don’t call it the ‘red eye’ for nothing.  My peepers looked like 2 squashed tomatoes by the time we checked in at the hotel.  No wonder people save up their pennies to splash out on first class.  Whilst we had to make do with a coffee coloured dog blanket, first class punters had nice little quilted coverlets and a pod of their own to stretch out in.  Bastards!

For those of you who know the dangers of waking a sleeping grizzly bear before it’s had enough sleep then you’ll appreciate how lethal it can be to approach one with jet lag.  My temper explosi-meter level was definitely peaking into the red due to lack of tea on the flight.   I can honestly say that British Airways made Michael O’Leary look like a benevolent deity as at least you can buy drinks on Ryanair flights.  This flight was more like death by a 1000 miles but less humane.  Only 50 minutes before landing did we get served a second cup of tea which is a bit like throwing a bucket of water over a camel after it’s crossed the entire Sahara in the baking heat.   Ah the horrors of long haul flying!

Hurrah - we've arrived!

Still, we’re here now.  I’m sat in a lovely green, fern themed room on the 7^th floor of the Chancellor Hotel.  I’ve had a few hours kip so feeling refreshed and raring to go.  Trouble is, whilst my brain thinks it’s 9.30 am UK time, the clock here says is 1.20 am and halfway through the night hence the late night blog update.

Chancellor Hotel - Union Square

Why is there a bottle opener in the bathroom?

A few words about the Chancellor Hotel.  Aside from the lovely fern green room, the hotel appears to provide everything a traveller could wish for.  There’s a free supply of coffee, cookies and popcorn in the lobby, free Wi-fi , (superfast too – I’m blogging at high speed here) and there’s a pillow menu.  Well come on, this is America after all and pillows are high on the list of travelling comforts although I think the free cookies are amazing!