LAS VEGAS

Like a phoenix rising from the desert dust, Las Vegas is the Torremolinos of Nevada but with twenty times more neon and taller hotels.  Everything about the place is fake – fake sky in the Parisian village, fake volcanoes, fake boobs on the waitress serving the coffee.  It’s brash, it’s trash but a lot of fun.

Arriving at Las Vegas

The other half generously upgraded our already premium view room to an even more premium view of the Bellagio fountains so we now have a suite on the 21^st floor of the Cosmopoliton larger than my brother’s London flat.  

The Cosmopolitan Hotel

Room 27 on the 21st floor

One of the bathrooms

Open plan lounge and kitchen area

There’s 2 bathrooms, a Jacuzzi, kitchen, separate lounge and enough arty farty coffee table books to prop open the vault door at Fort Knox.  You can feel the swankiness dripping from the understated beige walls.

View from our balcony

But in spite of the executive writing desk that I’m now blogging from, the quilted hotel bathrobe and fluffy slippers I’m wearing  or the view across to Caesars Palace I can see from my keyboard, the one thing lacking in this palacial pearl is a coffee maker.  Yep, we had to nip across the road to the nearest Walgreens to buy one as guests are expected to order room service for anything edible or drinkable.  Ludicrous that Travelodge will give you free coffee but not the Cosmopolitan.  All snacks are sat on a sensor - even sniffing a cookie might cost you twenty bucks!

The Cosmopolitan is located roughly in the centre of the famous Las Vegas ‘Strip’, the main boulevard that runs from one end of casino land to the other, it’s a great base from which to explore everything else.  There’s so much to see but we have a tactical plan to focus our sightseeing, targeting the Southern end of the Strip first. 

The famous fountains of The Bellagio

Walking the Strip is not as tough as I first thought.  The hotels, most the size of provincial airports, are relatively close together so it didn’t take too long to get down as far as the Mandalay Bay, the one furtherest south. 

We’ve seen a shark reef (Mandalay Bay), strolled amongst pharaohs (The Luxor) , walked across the Brooklyn Bridge (New York New York) dined in a Parisian village (Paris) and watched volcanoes exploding from the sidewalk (The Mirage).

Shark Reef Aquarium at Mandalay Bay

That's a strange looking fish

Inside the Luxor Hotel

New York New York

Paris - yes it has an Eiffel Tower too

Vegas is the perfect vampire city, everyone sleeps in then comes out at night to try their luck at one of the many casinos on the Strip. 

The Strip comes alive at night

You can wander in to any hotel to gawp at the incredible décor or play a few hands of blackjack at any time, night or day.  As you stroll down the Strip, touts offer you cards advertising the services of escorts, girls that can apparently be delivered to your door in 20 minutes.  We collected so many of these cards that we now have a full deck to play titty trumps with. 

Hey big spender

Needless to say, after our gambling exploits  I still can’t afford to give up my day job!